Look Into My Kaleidoscope of Emotions, And Feel

Title: Waiting For the Sun

By LissaChan

Rating: R for adult situations

Warning(s): M/m, AU, OOC, some violence, mentioned character death, Richie bashing

Disclaimer: I don’t own the song "Rain", Breaking Benjamin does, and this is a fucking kick-ass song.

A/N: I accidentally really listened to this song while I was playing an online game and then I heard the lines "To lie here under you/Is all that I could ever do". Then a story started playing out and I had to write it down. Now it’s depressing, but it gets better, trust me. Oh BTW: Richie’s mom died in a mugging gone tragically wrong because Richie tried to stop it.

blah – lyrics

blah – emphasis

Richie’s POV

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Take a photograph

It'll be the last

Not a dollar or a crowd could ever keep me here

I can feel their eyes on me, gawking, staring, and prying into my life. It’s not fair I have to be the only one. Why do they stare at me like that? Am I infected? Maybe I am.

I don't have a past

I just have a chance

Not a family or honest plea remains to say

I have nothing left after the fire, which I started. I admit it, but they don’t listen. No one ever does, so why do I even bother?

"Arson, it was done by a arsonist. Maybe that fireball fellow."

A manhunt is issued and I have to get to him before they do.

Rain, rain go away

Come again another day

All the world is waiting for the sun

It’s not easy when you can’t even see your hand a few inches from your face. Whoever is up there decides to drown the world, trying to put out the fire still raging in my heart, my pathetic and strange life.

Is it you I want

Or just the notion of

A heart to wrap around so I can find my way around

"They think you did it!"

"But I didn’t! You framed me, you prick!" His hands are on my throat before I can explain myself.

I don’t even fight back. Why should I? If I can’t have him, I have absolutely nothing left keeping me here.

Safe to say from here

You’re getting closer now

We are never sad ‘cause we are not allowed to be

The world is black and gray, foggy and blurry… I can almost feel my life coming to an end.

Suddenly the grip lets up and I fall to the ground, gasping and choking.

"Why’d you stop?"

"Why didn’t you stop me?"

Rain, rain go away

Come again another day

All the world is waiting for the sun

"My mother died last week, Virgil hates me, Freida won’t speak to me, and everyone thinks I’m too weak to kill myself. Maybe I am, so I’m letting the one who took my heart do it." I might as well admit it. That’ll for sure get him to not let go this time.

Rain, rain go away

Come again another day

All the world is waiting for the sun

"That’s so gay." But instead of hands on my neck they’re cupping my face and lips are against mine, pressing and nibbling.

I moan and lift my hands to his chest to push him away, when in the process my fingers tangle into his wet hair and his arms wrap around my waist, pulling me close to his warm and strong body. It’s the first time I ever felt protected, safe from the harsh and cruel world.

To lie here under you

Is all that I could ever do

To lie here under you is all

To lie here under you

Is all that I could ever do

To lie here under you is all

I feel him everywhere, smell only him, and taste all that he gives me. He’s on me and in me, driving out the pain and anguish I keep bottled in when mom died, when I was blamed for her death from my mind and replacing it with himself.

His hands leave bruises on my skin, his teeth leaving dented and abstract rings, but they fade eventually. The burning he feels for me will be with me forever.

Rain, rain go away

Come again another day

All the world is waiting for the sun

I have never felt like this before, never so safe and wanted. Even as I scream his name, his real first name, I feel myself exploding again when I hear him scream mine. This must be Nirvana, because I never want to go back. I never want to leave from these arms as they hold me close.

Rain, rain go away

Come again another day

All the world is waiting for the sun

In his bed in his apartment he promises to take care of me, keep me from the dark and scary world.

"Why? I thought you hated me."

"I thought you hated me." A thumb brushes a tear from falling farther down my left cheek.

"I love you, I think."

"We have plenty of time to find out." And he kisses me.

All the world is waiting for the sun

So I start a new life with F-Stop, Francis, he insists on me calling him when we’re alone. Every new day brings us even closer together.

"I love you," I whisper to his left ear as I stand behind him with my arms around him.

All the world is waiting for the sun

He chuckles and turns his head to look at me with one eye. "I love you, too."

Even now I think mom is smiling down at me, for finally having peace and happiness in my life.

THE END

God, I’m so sappy. I even teared up as I wrote the last line. I really hate bashing Richie like that, but damn, I love it when F-Stop picks up the pieces and brings his life in order.