Look Into My Kaleidoscope of Emotions, And Feel
11 - All I Really Want Is You
Title: All I Really Want Is You
By LissaChan
Rating: R, for language
Warning(s): AU, OOC, mentioning of violence
Disclaimer: I do not own "Breathe You In" the lovely and ever-so-hot Stabbing Westward does. *hearts Chris* I DO own F-Stop’s unmentioned older bro- made up and he’s needed for the fic. Also his wife and son.
blah – lyrics
blah – emphasis
F-Stop’s POV
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Tomorrow came too soon
I barely made it through today
Still empty inside
I guess nothing's really changed
Why ain’t I dead yet? I’ve done every evil thing I can think of and yet I’m still here, in juvie, with a slap on the wrist. Don’t they fucking get it?! I want to die from this world! I’m roaming the streets and I cause trouble, I’m at home and I’m daddy dearest’s punching bag and mommy’s ashtray, and in jail I’m worthless.
I'm still afraid to feel
'Cause I cannot take the pain
I'm still afraid to feel
Afraid to lose someone again
Why can’t they just leave me alone? I don’t want help; I want a new life! Where’s the fucking reset button because I’m damaged goods. Nothing is going to get better; it all ends downhill the day my brother is shot right in front of me…
I wish that somehow
I could leave
My past behind
My fears behind
Why can’t I grow up and make a man out of myself? I know I can take my dad down, powers or not. My mom breaks under a sneeze, so it’ll be easy pickings with her… Why can’t we just start over also?
If I could only breathe you in
If I could only breathe you in
If I could only breathe you in
Every drop of you
I just want to shut my eyes and never wake up, ever again, because in here you’re with me, in my arms. My brother is with his wife, enjoying their time with their toddler son, Josh, who calls me ‘Fray’ around his pudgy and teething mouth. All of us are happy there… I’m happy there with you…
I guess it's time to face the truth
And admit my past mistakes
Come to terms with all that's wrong with me
And all the things I'll never be
I’m finally released after two months and I go right home to pack my bags. I don’t know where I’m gonna go, but I definitely don’t wanna stay here any longer. But before I leave my father wants to send me off with his fists. I take him down without the use of my powers after all.
Yeah, I’m damaged goods, but I’m accepting it, and moving on.
Why am I afraid to feel?
Afraid of what is true?
Why am I afraid to feel?
When all I really want is you?
I sleep under a blanket I specifically took for cold nights such as this one and sleep right on the ground, right under a bridge I know hobos frequent at. At least they’re nice enough to share their fire barrel with me. I use to pick on them, but now I’ve come to respect them. I guess life isn’t so bad when you make friends…
I drift off to my Dream World and you’re waiting there for me, your arms open, and a bright smile on your face.
To taste your skin
To share your thoughts
Would never be enough for me
If only the real you could be this way once for me. I want you, Richie…
If I could only breathe you in
If I could only breathe you in
If I could only breathe you in
Every drop of you
The next day I am up before the sun rises and I set out on my own, enjoying the first night that I didn’t go to bed unconscious or bleeding from a random orifice.
I see you with your friends, laughing and having a great time talking to them. You look so happy and you’re beautiful when you smile.
Then your eyes cast on mine. My heart flutters a bit and I look away, frustrated you’ve got me like this. But I’m evil, I’m not supposed to have you, no matter how much I want you.
If I could only breathe you in
If I could only breathe you in
If I could only breathe you in
Every drop of you
One day I will prove I have changed to you. When we’re fighting in our alter egos, maybe. Or maybe I’ll just tell you outright that I like you, I’ve liked you ever since we first met, and I want you all to myself.
One day… I can definitely have that kind of motivation to keep me on this plane.
Ah-ooh…
THE END