Letters From Derpy

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

I like you and know you mean well, but don't send anypony else to see Princess Luna ever again, okay? Things got REALLY weird last night and now I feel worse than ever.

NOPONY else was at the castle last night, not even guards and staff. Just Princess Luna and me. She said she had to have a talk with me because I didn't get along with the others. (Me and Apple Bloom like each other fine but I wasn't going to argue.) She scoffed about how "this Derpy thing" made me pull away from everypony. Then she screamed, "I refuse to let you pull away from ME!" I cringed so hard I hit the floor and bit my lip. It didn't hurt really but I started bawling.

Next thing I know I was on something soft. I look and I'M RIGHT AGAINST PRINCESS LUNA ON HER COUCH! She's not as big as her sister but I still felt puny. Suddenly she was saying all that "there there" and "let it all out" stuff. It was so cheesy I felt even stupider.

Then she made me stop, just like that. "Now, reach deep inside. Take all your despair, a frost so cold that it burns your from the inside, and let it fill every part of your body. Do you feel it? Hold it in as long as you can stand then just YELL it all out!"

Huh? I tried faking but she could tell. So instead she made me think about every time somepony hurt me. I was about to cry again when she started moaning really loud and shook me. Or was she trembling? It all flooded back, how no one likes me and is mean to me. We kept crying out over and over again for how long I don't know.

Next thing I know I woke up and felt all empty inside. The princess said a chariot would take me home before she lowered the moon. She told me to go somewhere by myself every day and do it like we did, as much as possible.

Then she said something really weird: "Just remember to do it with style."

GAG ME WITH A BIT!

Tired of whining and moaning, literally,

Bubbly Shines