Cotton's Breakup

The following is a not-for-profit fictional erotic parody of the Cartoon "King of the Hill" and the characters within, to which I make no claim of ownership.

CODES: AFFO, 3Plus, Inc, Minor1, M/F, Bigotry, Anal, Oral, Rim

SYNOPSIS: Didi breaks up with Cotton after an argument over anal sex, requiring Hank and Luanne to enlist Boomhauer to teach her how to take it up the ass in an effort to get the couple back together.

King of the Hill

Cotton’s Breakup

CHAPTER 1

(Cotton and Didi)

It was a fairly typical Sunday in the Hill residence on Rainey Street. Hank Hill was reading the Sunday newspaper, the Arlen Bystander while his wife Peggy worked on the crossword puzzle. Their thirteen-year-old son, Bobby was engrossed in a hand-held video game when the doorbell rang.

“Not it!” Bobby said absently, his eyes never leaving the tiny screen.

“Not it either.” Peggy mumbled.

Hank sighed and put down the paper, “Oh, for Pete’s sake!” he grumbled as he stood from his chair and went to the door.

Hank opened the door to find his father, Cotton Hill standing there. The five-foot-tall World War Two veteran looked even grumpier than usual. Cotton had originally been over six feet tall, about the same height as Hank was now, until a Japanese machine-gun destroyed his shins. Now the dour se­nior citizen was about the same height as his beloved grandson, Bobby.

“Me and Didi had a fight!” Cotton said tersely, “Stayin’ with you till she takes me back!”

Didi Hill was Cotton’s second wife, his first being Hank’s mother, Tilly, whom Cotton had di­vorced. Didi was much younger than Tilly, in fact, she was the same age as Hank—the two had actually gone to kindergarten together.

Cotton looked past Hank and greeted the rest of the family “Hey, Bobby!” he smiled.

“Hey, Ging-ging!” Bobby grinned, turning his attention from the video game to his grandfather.

Cotton scowled in Peggy’s direction, “Hello, Hank’s Wife!” he grumbled.

“Cotton.” Peggy acknowledged him icily. Peggy and Cotton had never been entirely fond of each other and their conversations were usually contentious at best. “What did you do to make Didi mad at you?” she smirked.

“It ain’t me!” Cotton sneered, “Didi don’t wanna take it up the ass! What kinda woman won’t let you fuck her in the pooper every now and then?”

“Er… Dad…” Hank’s face reddened, “Bobby’s in the room!”

“Aw, hell!” Cotton scowled, “I’m sure Bobby’s tapped a few booties hisself, right, Bobby?”

Bobby opened his mouth to answer, but realized the question was rhetorical when Cotton con­tinued talking.

“You gonna let me in or what?” Cotton grumbled.

Hank stepped back and allowed his father to enter. “Um… Dad. Of course you’re welcome to stay until you and Didi make up… I guess you can sleep in the den, now that Luanne’s moved out.” Hank turned to Peggy, “Er… Peggy, could you help me in the kitchen for a moment?”

“Certainly, Hank!” Peggy agreed, rising from the couch.

Bobby put down the video game and hugged his grandfather as Hank and Peggy left for the kitchen.

“They’re gonna go argue about me stayin’!” Cotton smiled at Bobby. “So… You still seein’ that Laotian girl next door?”

“Connie?” Bobby replied, “Yes sir!”

“She let you up her asshole?” Cotton asked bluntly.

“Well…” Bobby hesitated, “Yeah. We’ve done it that way before.”

“See! Good girl!” Cotton exclaimed, “Them Oriental girls know how to treat a man’s dick! I remember fuckin’ dozens of them Japanese whores in Dubya-Dubya Two! Now they’d let ya do anything you wanted!”

“Uh… Okay.” Bobby acknowledged.

“Say,” Cotton smiled, “You think I could get a piece of that Connie’s ass? Or maybe some o’ that sweet little pussy?”

“Well…” Bobby mused, “Connie does like to fuck… I guess I could ask her!”

“Good, good…” Cotton grinned, “When your folks get back from the kitchen we’ll excuse ourselves next door for a little Pussy Chow Mein, huh?”

In the Hill’s kitchen, Hank and Peggy were desperately trying to come up with a plan to reunite Cotton and Didi. “Hank!” Peggy exclaimed, “We simply cannot let that man stay with us! You know he and I don’t get along!”

Hank sighed, “Yeah, I know. We’ve gotta get those two back together fast!”

“He won’t go back with Didi till she agrees to have anal sex!” Peggy frowned, “How do we convince her to do that?”

“Well…” Hank considered, “I know Luanne likes it up the butthole…”

“How do you know that?” Peggy asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

“Oh, come on, Peggy!” Hank grinned, “You know Luanne and I have knocked boots before!”

“I know.” Peggy chuckled, “I was just teasing!”

“And whenever we… had relations… she sometimes liked a little poke in the rump.” Hank added.

“Well, maybe she can help you teach Didi to enjoy a little ass-fucking.” Peggy suggested.

Hank nodded, “It’s worth a try!” he said, “I’ll go across the street and ask Luanne to help… you stay here with Dad and Bobby.”

Hank and Peggy reentered the living room.

“You two finish fightin’ about me already?” Cotton sneered.

“We weren’t fighting, Cotton!” Peggy sneered back.

“Well, I’m gonna go visit Luanne!” Hank said hastily as he hurried out the door, “Back in a lit­tle bit!”

“What was that about?” Bobby asked.

“Nothing!” Peggy dismissed him, “Now what were you two discussing while we were gone?” she asked, trying to change the subject.

“Assfucking!” Cotton blurted out, “You ever take it up the butt, Hank’s wife?”

Peggy scowled, “Yes, I have, Cotton!” she growled, “I enjoy a good butt-fuck! And I’m very good at it!”

“Is that right, Bobby?” Cotton asked his grandson, “Have you ever done your mama up the ass?”

“Cotton!” Peggy exclaimed.

“Oh, pooh!” Cotton retorted, “It ain’t no shame to be a motherfucker! In fact, if Hank had nailed his mama on a reg’lar basis maybe the two of ‘em woulda turned out better! You do fuck your mama, right, Bobby?”

“Y-yes sir!” Bobby admitted, “Me and Mom fuck sometimes… and she does take it up the ass­hole. She’s a pretty good butt-fuck!”

Cotton eyed Peggy’s rump skeptically, “Hm…” he considered, “She probl’y has a serviceable pussy, but… and no offense, boy… but she is your mama and you might be a little biased in your opinion of her buggerin’ skills!”

Peggy was genuinely offended at Cotton’s suggestion. “I’ll have you know I can butt-fuck with the best of them, Cotton Hill!” she fumed.

Cotton knew Peggy’s ego wouldn’t stand any criticism. He now had her exactly where he wanted her. She’d offer him an ass-fuck and believe that it was her idea all along!

“Well, then put your ass where your mouth is, woman!” Cotton frowned.

Peggy began to disrobe. “All right, old man!” she grumbled, “Be prepared to get up in some tight, hot, Peggy Hill ass!”

Bobby sat on the couch, grinning as he watched his mother and grandfather strip in the living room. This was going to be one hell of a show!