Chapter 1: My Brother’s lover
Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, they had always been together. One spark split in two. It is said that that a part of the spark did not wish to partake in the world of the living. It was happy in its confinement … the other half wished to taste the sun upon its flesh and share itself with all matters of hearts; so, one part of the spark stepped into the sun tearing itself from the dark while leaving its other half alone in the murky shadows, willing it to come into the glimmer of the sun. It is said that that moment of darkness crawls into the half left behind, and one of the sparklings forever feels abandoned in one way or another.
…
“Did you see that,” yelled Sideswipe as he punched his brother in the shoulder, making the yellow twin growl and grab at his limb. “I think I made Thrust cry after I crashed him into Soundwave. Two ‘Cons with one stone like they say.”
“Don’t scratch my paint,” grumbled Sunstreaker as he punched his brother back.
“Please, how could you tell anyway? After Starscream plowed you into the ground there’s almost no yellow paint left on you. Nice landing by the way. Graceful.”
The yellow hellion growled his engine and brought a fist up, but before he could even slam his knuckles into his brother and start an all out brawl, someone called out, and Sideswipe flinched away.
“No brawls in my medical bay! The only one who causes damage in this room is me!” yelled Ratchet from his surgery across the room, optics become bright as he dared Sunstreaker to make another move. The front-liner pulled his fist down and leaned back against the wall as one of the walking injured. He was use to being blamed for all their brawls; he wouldn’t let it get to him, he started most of them. Besides, he had grown accustomed to such things as he grew older. Yes, he knew that his fuse was short, and a smile rarely grazed his face if he wasn’t about to tear someone a new one, but did that mean that he had to be blamed for all fights he was involved in?
Holding back a sigh, Sunstreaker tried not to let it get to him. That’s just how things were. He was the second born, the unwilling, the half that wished to stay unborn. Yeah, nobody said it out loud and least of all Sideswipe, but he was the reason that their spark wasn’t compete … He was the reason neither twin could love anyone but each other. Looking to the floor, Sunstreaker blocked off his connection with his brother momentarily – the other twin seeming not to notice – and dwelled on that feeling. Before the battle, Sunstreaker found himself finally deciding to confront his brother. There had been something going on for a few months now; it almost felt like spite … for him. At first, the yellow hellion gave it little thought. Thinking it was merely just his brother being prissy about something, but as the days turned into months the feeling only grew despite Sideswipe’s attempt to hide it. The red twin wanted something; he wanted something bad, and for some reason he was blaming the yellow titan for not having it.
At least that’s what Sunstreaker’s spark told him. It was vague though, and for the longest time the Autobot thought it paranoia. Until his brother just seemed to disappear, giving in to whatever it was that he wanted and leaving the yellow twin in the dark. Sunstreaker was doing his best to give his brother some room, thinking it just another lay his sibling was going to drag to their room to share … but that never came. Strange, that was what he thought the feeling was about. It seemed he was wrong, and he found his hands in fists more often than not as he struggled to remain calm on the subject. If he called his brother out on it … he at least had to know what it was.
“Sunstreaker! Stop standing there like a dead ‘Con and get over to this berth. I’m not telling you again before I start dragging you!”
The yellow twin snapped out of his thoughts. A surprised look on his face, but when he noticed all the worried and estranged glances he was getting, he quickly put on a scowl. Then, taking a step forward, his arm brushed against Side’s, silently asking for reassurance; the movement was not returned as it seemed that Sideswipe was distracted, his gaze directed toward the door and the departing mechs who were being cleared from the medical bay.
Sunstreaker didn’t really get to question the loss of touch though when a new arm reached out and steadied him. Ratchet was practically glaring now, looking the front-liner up and down before stating, “Why the slag were you standing there the whole time, your hip strut his shattered?”
“It’s not shattered,” grumbled the younger bot. “I was walking fine.”
“Can you even feel your leg … or haven’t you noticed that there’s energon pooling wherever your left ped steps down? There’s energon seeping down the internals of your leg! On the berth, now! Walking injury my aft!” griped the medic as he grabbed his un-wanting patient around his waist and started walking him to the berth, making sure Sunny wouldn’t put weight on his wound.
The next hour was full of wincing after Sunny got onto the berth, but his brother wasn’t in much of a different predicament. Side’s was wincing as well on the berth next to Sunny as First Aid knocked a huge dent out of the red mech; Thundercracker had kicked him in the chassis.
“Owh, a little gentler, Aid. I have a da … um, things to do tonight, and I don’t want to be aching everywhere,” said Sideswipe, picking up a Huffer-like tone.
“Sorry, Sideswipe. I just need to be a little rough,” said the medic, stuttering slightly and still nervous with his work.
“Don’t apologize to him, youngling. He was the fraggen fool that took on Thundercracker without backup,” said Ratchet as he started to strip the metal of Sunny’s leg. Generally, he’d just remove the whole leg, but the leg was still alive and could be saved. It wasn’t worth wasting the materials to build a new one. Sunstreaker could just spend the night and be put on light duty for a few days.
The apprentice nodded, and then continued in his work, Sideswipe wincing. Sunstreaker quickly bit back a yelp that threatened to escape him. He knew that if he whimpered and whined too much, Ratchet would weld him to the berth. He needed to reenact his bond with his brother, and it wasn’t that he was horny – maybe a little – but the bond felt weak, and Sideswipe
was hiding something. A joining of sparks would tell him what his brother was hiding. True, it wasn’t unlike Sides to keep things from him, but never this long. A good bonding session would allow Sunstreaker a glimpse at what Side’s was thinking … and right now he could feel his brother was wanting some loving. Sideswipe was probably going to find some unsuspecting fagger to drag into his berth, and Sunstreaker was going to share … like usual. He needed to know what was going on. He need too –
“Ehhuh!” gasped Sunstreaker, his mind so foggy he couldn’t bite back the stuttering of his vents or the pained sound. Ratchet immediately stopped, eyeing him. Frag. He needed to get out tonight. He needed to know that his brother wasn’t leaving him behind … not again, not to the dark.
“I-I’m fine,” said Sunstreaker a little to rushed, gaining a worried look from Ratchet and his brother.
“Sure you are,” grumbled the medic. “Let me get a sedative. You are going to spend the night. That leg’s worse than I thought it was.”
“B-but, Ratchet,” said the yellow twin, trying to protest.
“Don’t worry, bro,” said Sideswipe as First Aid closed his chassis, his feet making a clang as he jumped off the berth and walked over to his brother’s berth. “I’ll check on you in the morning to make sure Ratchet hasn’t turned you into a toaster.”
“Talk to you in the morning,” said the red twin, patting Sunny on the shoulder. Hurriedly, a yellow hand tried to grasp at his parting twin, for comfort before Ratchet put him out like a light. But, just as fingers tried to grace his brother’s hand, the red hand drew away from his by mere inches, and Sideswipe started to walk away … with a grin on his face, a wave of joy making itself through the bond unknowingly. Sunstreaker optics widened. W-why was his brother happy? He was injured? Wasn’t he supposed to feel worried about him?
H-had he felt … alone. It was as if Sideswipe had better things to do … better things than Sunny. Primus, Sunstreaker couldn’t even remember the last time the two of them had had a brawl or played a video game. Don’t even get him started on bonding. Now, unlike other mechs that did it for the pleasure alone, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe had to bond in order to keep their sparks stable. True, they necessarily didn’t have to stabilize their sparks with each other so it was not uncommon for Sideswipe to drag a victim in their quarters to ‘share’. Speaking of which, they hadn’t done that in a while either, and there were even new mechs for them to play with. Part of Sunstreaker had wondered if his brother was mad at him, but that didn’t seem like it and his brother’s current actions weren’t agreeing with it; he had merely been … forgotten.
“Sunstreaker,” Ratchet suddenly got into the view of Sideswipe’s parting back. “Is something wrong? You’re spark just skipped a beat?”
“No,” said the yellow soldier as his reaching arm was pressed against the berth, swallowing his rising sorrow. “Nothing. Just put me under and get it over with.”
Ratchet still looked worried, but merely nodded, putting one of his warm hands against Sunstreaker’s neck, using his thumb to move Sunstreaker’s chin to the side so it would reveal his neck cables better. With the ease that came with being an old medic, he had stabbed the needle in, pulled it out, and only left a drop of energon as proof that the piercing object had been there. Darkness came like a kiss upon the brow, soft and caring.
…
“Sunstreaker?”
“Sunstreaker? Can you hear me?”
“Sunstreaker,” said Ratchet as he waved his hand in front of the warrior’s face, the mech’s optics slowly coming on. “Can you compute what I’m saying?”
“Yah,” choked the yellow mech as he shifted on the berth a little, wincing as he felt the stiffness of his leg, “I can hear you Ratch’. What time is it?”
“Near two in the morning. I’m going into recharge. You can stay here for the night or go to your room. And don’t you dare go to the rec. room and try to catch the end of the party. I will know and kick your aft in the morning. Don’t transform and keep weight off it for the next three days; I don’t care if it makes you any less beautiful to limp,” grumbled the medic as he wiped his hands in a rag before stepping away to allow the mech some room to sit up.
Sunny shook his head and automatically turned his head to the right, expecting his brother to be sitting on the berth next to his with a silly grin. A frown quickly formed on his face when … he saw no one was there. No, this was wrong. Sideswipe was always there, always waiting after he had surgery. That was how it was. He’d wait for his brother and his brother would wait for him. Afterwards, one brother would take the other to their room, and then they’d hold each other on the berth where no one could see … glad the other one was still alive.
W-why wasn’t his brother here?
Suddenly, as if feeling the yellow hellion’s sorrow, Ratchet stepped into his sights, a worried look on the medic’s face, “Is there something wrong?
Choking back a click of misery, Sunstreaker brought his hand up to his face and wiped it down, shaking his head as he stated, “No, Ratchet. I just want to go to my berth.”
The medic continued to frown, but nodded his head, using his hands to signal Sunstreaker to scoot his aft to the edge of the berth so he could check the repairs, “Okay, put your leg out and press against my locked fingers until they break or you start feeling sharp pains.”
Sunstreaker did as he was told, placing his foot in the cupped hands. Then he started to push. He nearly jumped out of his armor, but continued despite the sudden sharp pains. Sideswipe’s part of the spark was warm, hot, and happy. He wanted to know why. He knew it had something to do with why his sibling wasn’t here right now, offering silent comfort with his mere presence. He wanted whatever it was … gone. End of story.
Finally, a hiss escaped him, and Ratchet pulled away, grabbing the twin’s leg and easing it down. He grumbled something to himself, and then stated simply, “ Alright, now turn over on your good hip so I can see how far I can bend your knee before it stresses the strut. Tell me if you feel any sharp pains; an ache is normal.”
A grunt was all the CMO received in reply as the yellow mech turned on his side. Ratchet then proceeded to take the knee into his hand, moving the leg in different positions.
An ache huh? Was an ache supposed to feel like his leg was being ripped off? “So,” said the medic, not stopping in his work. “What’s up with you and Sideswipe? You two have another fight?”
Always straight to the point, huh? Sunstreaker really hated that about the Hatchet. It was as if he could read minds and that bothered him to no end sometimes. Sighing, the twin gingerly replied, “No.”
“Then what’s bothering you two? It was hard not to notice that both of you are acting strange,” added Ratchet in a careful tone. Of the two twins, Sunstreaker was the one to be careful with. Many thought with him being such a mean aft that he could take anything … the truth was, Sunny’s emotions were much more easily bruised. He just buried them beneath a cold glare and sought comfort in his brother’s spark. Ratchet knew … because Sideswipe had told him. And ever since then he had kept an eye on the yellow twin. As they said, madness was like gravity; all you need is one good shove and one would fall. Sometimes Ratchet worried that if Sideswipe wasn’t around Sunstreaker would fall. If Sideswipe died … Sunstreaker would follow after. If Sunstreaker died, Sideswipe would morn him, fall into a depression for a few vorns, and live on. Sunstreaker worried him.
“I don’t know … Sideswipe’s the one acting funny,” grumbled the yellow mech, not looking up at his current caretaker. “It’s nothing.”
Ratchet stared for a moment, noting a wince he got from his patience. Well, that had been easier to pull out of the usual cold and distant mech then he thought it would be … which was not a good thing. It meant that Sunstreaker was dwelling on this far too much and that he was reaching the end of his patience. Ratchet nodded, letting go of the leg and heading to the hip where he rubbed it for a moment, knowing it must be sore.
“Are you sure it’s nothing? Do you want to talk about it, because it means more than nothing to you it seems,” said Ratchet allowing the twin sit up, but placing an hand on either side of him so the yellow mech was trapped on the berth.
Sunstreaker still refused to look at him, but his hands becoming fists told the medic all he needed to know at the moment. That was all there was to be told … at least right now.
Knowing that he had reached his limit, Ratchet pulled away and nodded, “Alright, but you know I’ll be here to listen if you want to talk about it … Plus, I can always
make you take your psych evaluation early if it gets too out of hand. Now get out of my med bay and keep weight off that.”
The halls echoed with Sunstreaker’s feet. He had taken it slow getting back to his room, because part of him didn’t want to fight with his brother. Sideswipe was just letting off waves of happiness, unguarded; probably because he didn’t know that Sunny was awake. Sunstreaker tightened his fists, blocking his part of the bond as a rage started to seep into him. His brother was happier ignoring him! H-how could he?
A grimace reaching his lips, Sunstreaker was about to start running down the halls towards their room, ignoring Ratchet’s threat. He was going to demand what the hell was going on, or he was going to beat it out of his sibling, but before he could do more than feel his engine heat up in rage … voices floated down the hall. He was just going to rush forward, and if they didn’t get out of his way he’d run them down … but then he realized who the voices belonged too. For a moment, he thought about rushing forward and getting into his brother’s face, but stalled. Before Sunstreaker could stop himself, he was hidden around a nearby corner. The front liner’s optics quickly dulling so they would not give him away as he listened to his brother, hiding his spark signature from the only other mech he had ever truly loved.
“You sure it’s okay? Going to Sunstreaker and your room, because you still haven’t talk to Sunstreaker about us, have you? It’s not that I don’t like your brother; he’s always been good to me. I just don’t think he’ll understand, and I want him to understand and known, but I don’t want him to be mad. I hate seeing your brother mad. He always seems upset, and I’d hate to see him upset, because if he’s upset, you are upset, and I don’t think I can …”
There was a soft clang of metal, and a soft chuckling – probably over energized - as the talking immediately stopped, his brother’s voice ringing through Sunny’s audios, “Calm down, Blue. Hick. You’re acting like our relationship is a dirty secret. It just has to remain … underground. Not that I’m ashamed of it or anything. Hick. It’s just that Sunstreaker hasn’t reacted well to some of my private relationships in the past. He kind of takes it to spark the whole ‘us against the world’ motto, you know. Hick. He thinks that other mechs and femmes are just there for us to share, and you known … not a real relationship.”
Then there was a purring noise, and the soft rustle of metal on metal.
“N-not in the middle of the hall! Now, come on. Tell me straight, because I know you’re not ashamed of me, but … I need to know. Do you not want to make our relationship known … because of Sunny? Tell me … Sunstreaker doesn’t want me around, does he?” whispered Bluestreak, his voice aching.
“No, no! It’s just that Sunstreaker has … problems creating his own relationships. Don’t say anything to anyone … but … Sunstreaker’s never interfaced … alone, without me. H-he’s never been in love with anyone or had a relationship of his own. I can’t just move out until I’m sure he’ll be okay,” stated Sideswipe, his voice soft and hushed.
A little surprised gasp escaped Bluestreak, and Sunstreaker’s hand landed on his chassis, betrayal suddenly running through his systems like fire. H-how could his brother just tell someone that? It was their personal secret. It was almost as if his brother has just blurted out to the entire base that Sunstreaker was some kind of virgin and that they should be gentle with him with him since he was inexperienced. H-how could he? Why would Sideswipe just tell that little slagger something so personal? It wasn’t like the gunner was his l-lover.
A shallow gasp pulled through Sunstreaker’s vents. That happiness he had been feeling … wasn’t happiness. Sideswipe was in love, and Sunstreaker was just in the way.
“You should have told me,” whispered the gunner, voiceless for once. “I-I’ll try to take it slower.”
“Thanks,” was a soft warm hushed voice, “but not too slow,” he said in a husky deep voice, “come on … we have the room all to ourselves tonight … let’s play.”
There was more drunk giggling, and a small moan from the younger mech. The door then swung open a few doors down to Side’s and Sunny’s room, a clang allowed in the dim hall meaning that they had managed to get to the berth before the door shut. Sunstreaker, ignoring his leg, stormed forward ready to slam open that door and beat the slag out of his brother … yet as he neared the door he heard panting, rushed vents, long dragging moans, and one thing over and over again in Sideswipe’s voice.
“I love you. I love you, Blue. Only you. ”
…
Sunstreaker had wandered the halls after that. There was a strange emotion in his chest. Yes, rage was there, but there was something else. Something he hadn’t felt in ages. He hadn’t felt this parasite on his spark since he was a sparkling, clinging to Sideswipe in the dead of night because of it … sorrow. When he grew older, he had promised himself he would never feel that helpless ever again. He would be nobody’s victim, he would feel no sorrow. Yet here he was, now in the armory, his leg aching far too much to go on. He told himself he was merely in here because it was conventional at the time, but the truth was … he was hiding. He was like a wounded animal hiding in a dark corner.
And there he remained, trying to decide what to do. In the end, unable to recharge, he pulled himself and his aching leg up, heading out. So his brother didn’t want him around anymore, did he? Well, he wasn’t going to give him or his sex-toy the satisfaction of throwing him out of their lives. He’d throw them out and be done with it.
…
Now … this was interesting. His CPU was still trying to decide if this was a bad or good thing. Either, Sunstreaker was finally taking him serious or something bad had happened. He was leaning towards bad. After all, why else were the twins ever in his office? Prowl sighed, his wings dipping as he looked at the yellow mech that was leaned against the wall by his door, sleeping upright. Yah, it had to be bad. Why else would someone put their back through that hell?
Leaning down on one knee, the Second in Command shook Sunstreaker, the mech jolting awake, eyes searching in a panic until he met optics with Prowl. His surprised expression was quickly replaced with his usual cold expression.
“Sunstreaker? Is there something wrong? I thought you were supposed to spend the night in the medical bay … not the hall,” added the tactician as he looked the yellow mech up and down with a scrutinizing gaze.
Sunny tried to blink away the last few moments of recharge before he pushed away the worried hand on his shoulder, using the wall and not his leg to push himself upward. “Ratchet said I could go. I also just wanted to see where you were putting me on the schedule for light-duty.”
Prowl still stared at the other before nodding, and then got up, opening his office door. He wanted to help Sunny forward due to the limp, but thought it unwise. Sunstreaker was always proud and wouldn’t accept the help anyway.
“Please take seat,” said the enforcer, when Sunstreaker limped in. The yellow mech did so, his teeth bearing as he sat down, obviously in pain. Prowl stared for a moment before taking a seat himself. “So, are you really here for a no-duty request? If you are in more pain then Ratchet thought, I’m sure he’ll change it for you. We don’t need you suffering through monitor duty.”
Sunny frowned at the straightforwardness, “I’m not in pain, just a bit stiff. Rough night. So, can I see that schedule?”
Prowl’s cold gaze continued, but he gave the data pad to the mech despite that. He was going to email them to all the men this morning, but since Sunny was in here he probably wanted something changed. Not that Prowl was going to disagree. Sunny needed rest and was in pain. Prowl might take him off the roadster anyway, despite whatever the yellow mech before him might request.
“Alright, can I change these with Blaster and this one with Red Alert?” said Sunny, still cold as ever despite the fact that Prowl noticed the pained drag in his voice. Was the injury really that bad? Should he comm. Ratchet?
“How about I take you off completely?” said Prowl, eyeing him.
“No!” it was growled, it was demanded, and harsh. Sunny’s optics even got wide after he had said it. “I mean … I mean … I just need …”
“What’s this really about?” said Prowl, eyeing the schedule that Sunny requested. Was he having problems with Sideswipe? It seemed that the days Prowl had specially scheduled so they could be together, were moved. Now why was that? Were those two fighting, again?
“I need a room change. Now.”
And there is was. Primus, this was going to be one of
those weeks, wasn’t it?
