G.I. Loony
G.I. Loony
G. I. Loony: Prelog
Author: You see a pure white room with a large chestnut tree full of chestnuts, a wheel with random words on it an a woman with black hair and emerald green eyes walking up to welcome you.
Nightfire: Welcome to the GIJoe version of the classic series Loony. I’m your hostess Nightfire aka Cindy. As you can see, we have all the standard props of Loony. The Wheel of Torment (You see her pointing at the wheel with random names on it), and the chestnut tree where we seem to hang our victims and throw chestnuts at them. (Then you see her pointing at the tree.) And of course the occasional anvil. Unfortunately, my assistant Jason will no longer be my assistant, but I have found six replacement assistants who just jumped at the opportunity I gave them. So I’ll introduce them to all of you. First we have the joe, Dusty. He will be in charge of Loony’s environmental props.
Dusty: (Walking up to her and waving at the readers.) Hi everybody. What in the hell is an environmental prop?
Nightfire: You’ll see. The next joe is Cross Country. He’s Loony’s mechanical and large prop expert.
Cross Country: (Waving at the readers as he walked up to Nightfire and Dusty.) Howdy, ya’ll!
Nightfire: For my next four assistants, we have Zartan…
Cross Country and Dusty: ZARTAN!!!
Nightfire: Yes, Zartan. He’s in charge of unique props or… something like that.
Zartan: (Walking up to the three of them.) You mean you already started writing this story and you’re really not to sure on what I’m suppose to do yet?
Nightfire: Um… Anyway, next we have Zandar and he is Loony’s surprise organizer.
Zandar: (Walking up to his brother.) What’s a surprise organizer?
Nightfire: It’s a surprise!
Zandar, Dusty, Zartan and Cross Country: Groan!
Dusty: Zandar, your job sounds about as confusin’ as mine.
Zartan: Well at least you have a job, I don’t know if I have one or not!
Cross Country: Yes you do! You’re in charge of unique props.
Zandar: So what qualifies as a unique prop?
Dusty: I don’t know. His job might fall under the same category as mine, a UPJ.
Nightfire: What in the hell is a UPJ anyway?
Dusty: UPJ stands for Unidentified Prop Job.
Nightfire: If that clears things up a bit, can I finish with the last two introductions before we talk about job placement definitions?
The Guys: Yes.
Nightfire: Okay then. The last two are Tomax and Xamot. They will be in charge of prop acquisition, minor props, books, organizing special guests and any office supplies we might need.
Tomax: Hello. (Waving to the readers.)
Xamot: Greetings. (Also waving at the readers.)
Nightfire: Good, you guys are here. I need you two to explain to these guys what their jobs are.
Tomax: No problem. Let’s…
Xamot: …start with your job…
Tomax and Xamot: …Dusty.
Dusty: Um… Okay.
Tomax: An environmental prop is anything that deals with nature via item or scenery.
Xamot: Or in other words, if we need sand…
Tomax: You’ll get sand.
Xamot: If we need an ocean backdrop…
Tomax: You will get an ocean as backdrop.
Xamot: If it’s a flood of pink ducky shaped marshmallows…
Tomax: You’ll be the one…
Tomax and Xamot: …starting the flood.
Dusty: Oh. Okay that makes sense.
Zandar: What about me?
Xamot: You’re in charge of…
Tomax: …making sure that all surprises go without…
Xamot and Tomax: …a hitch.
Zandar: Makes sense to me.
Tomax: Now Zartan…
Xamot: You’re responsible for…
Tomax: …all the props…
Xamot and Tomax: …that either are strange, odd and/or don’t make sense.
Zartan: Like you two?
Xamot and Tomax: Yes. (Then realizing what Zartan just said.) HAY!!!
Cross Country: Well, I know what my job is.
Nightfire: And what do you think you do?
Cross Country: I’m responsible for gettin’ the props that are too big for anybody to get an if anythin’ here requires fixin’ I’m the one to fix it.
Nightfire: Good guess, you get a cookie! (Handing Cross Country a penutbutter cookie.)
Cross Country: (Turning toward the other’s, pointing to the cookie.) Hay, fellas. Look what Nightfire gave me. (While the other guys see the cookie, he then flips them the bird.)
Nightfire: You better run Cross Country; because I don’t think the others like the fact that you flipped them off.
Cross Country: (Starting to run away from Tomax, Xamot, Zandar, Zartan, and Dusty.) Holy shit. Ya, right darlin’.
Nightfire: Well, I better go and end this prolog and start chapter one. Before they kill each other. (Then seeing the guys chasing after Cross Country.) Come on guys! Leave Cross Country alone!
Dusty: Some friend you are!
Zartan: Flip me off you fucking redneck! Let’s see if you can flip me off again with no middle fingers!
Tomax: You…
Xamot: …ass…
Tomax and Xamot: …munch!
Zandar: Give me that cookie!
Cross Country: Nightfire! Help me!!!
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Things to ponder till next chapter.
Who will be Loony’s first guest?
Will we know what Nightfire’s job is?
Will anyone get to Cross Country before the author starts chapter one?
What will we see next chapter?
All these questions and more in G. I. Loony: Chapter One.