Oblivious

OK, first off, I just wrote this. Like, right now. Right now would be about 12:30 at night. I woke up at four, and in that span of time, I've only had KFC and Dove chocolate. So, if I wake up in the morning to find that instead of slash, I've written something about killer plants, don't blame me. Sorry if some of the grammar sucks, and sorry that I cut out the lemon. I'm really too tired to write it out. Maybe I will in a second chapter. Maybe. Even if the entire population of Earth were to ask me, I'd only do it if I felt like it. Because I'm selfish like that.

Anyway, R & R if you wish. Or not. Whatever the hell gets you off.

(Let's note again I'm not responsible for anything I say now. Like I said, twelve fucking in the morning.)
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Kenny sighed as he sat in the Marsh residence in Stan's room, with none other then Stan. He wondered if he had been better off not knowing Kyle's secret, so that he wouldn't be tempted to just blurt it out to Stan himself. But Kenny prided himself on keeping his friend's secrets, and would probably keep his secret even if he was tortured.

Not that torturing was a new thing to Kenny, with Eric Cartman as a best friend.

But, really, how did Kyle expect him to keep the secret so easily? He remembered that night well, having it been only four days before...

Kenny had been chilling in his room idly flipping through a Playboy. Not looking to get off, but being bored and finding nothing better to do. Not like he could've gotten off to this issue. After the hundredth time, you kind of get bored of staring at the same ass or rack.

He was thrown from his thoughts when Kyle casually walked into his room, closed the door behind him, and sat down in the only chair Kenny had in his room that hadn't broken yet. Surprised, Kenny set aside his magazine and took a look at his obviously distressed friend. Kyle was biting his lower lip, had his eyes cast down to his shoes, and he was nervously wringing his hands. Kenny sat at the edge of his bed and waited for him to speak. When he didn,t he spoke up.

"Kyle? Are you OK?" Kenny asked gently, but Kyle still jumped at the noise. He looked over, as if he had forgotten where he was, then looked down again and sighed.

"I-God, Kenny, I...I can't take it anymore!"

Confused, he asked, "What?"

Kyle leaned forward in his seat and looked intently at Kenny, still wringing his hands. "Kenny, can I tell you something that you'll never repeat?"

No hesitation. "Of course, Kyle." This wasn't an empty promise. Even if Cartman was his best friend, Kenny was a very nice guy...A bit on the perverted side, of course, but a nice guy. He never broke a promise.

Still, Kyle seemed obviously hesitant to say anything. "No matter what?"

"No matter what."

"Even if your life depended on it?"

At this, Kenny rolled his eyes. "Kyle, I die everyday. It wouldn't matter much if my life did depend on whatever the hell you're-"

"I'm in love with Stan."

Again, no hesitation. "No fucking duh."

Kyle looked up startled. "What?"

"Dude, everyone knows. Well, except for Stan. But that's Stan, he's oblivious."

"Everyone?"

"Yeah, dude. Even Cartman. He just doesn't say anything because he doesn't want his nose broken again. Which, was pretty funny, by the way."

This didn't seem to cheer him up. Instead, he put his face in his hands and groaned. "But Stan doesn't feel the same way...?"

Kenny frowned, having not really thought about it. "I'm...not sure."

Kyle groaned again. "I can't tell him, he'll hate me."

"Dude, I don't think-"

"He will!" He looked up angrily, his eyes bright with unshed tears. "He'll fucking hate me! Which is why I can't ever tell him!"

"You shouldn't keep your feelings bottled up like that..."

"Yeah, well," Kyle wiped at his eyes, "that's why I told you, so I didn't just pounce him the next time I saw him."

Kenny couldn't help but snicker at the mental image, but was quickly frowning again. "You should tell him still. He's your best friend, Kyle, and he can't hate you for what you feel, even if he doesn't feel the same-"

"No." Kyle's voice was so firm Kenny had to shut up. "I'm never going to tell him, things will be awkward. And you're not going to tell him either, got it?" Kenny nodded silently, to which Kyle gave a quick goodbye and left.

Kenny, back in the current presence, sighed again. Kyle just had to be a stubborn bastard. He looked over at Stan, who was mindlessly chatting about the next football game, sitting on his bed while Kenny chilled on the floor. Not paying attention to Stan's words, he took a look around Stan's room. Trophies from football on his shelves, discarded clothes, his computer desk, dresser, closet...Kenny's mind was reeling, trying to find some sort of clue that Stan could have a thing for Kyle. Although Stan hadn't given any indication, Kenny had no doubt in mind that Stan felt the same way. If not, he was the most goddamn gay straight guy in existence. Stan had a phobia of snakes, he couldn't harm a fly, he threw up on every single girl that had ever tried to kiss him...In fact, now that Kenny thought about it, he'd been avoiding girls lately and spending most of his time with Kyle. Damn, no wonder Kyle was about to burst...

Suddenly Kenny's attention was caught to the underside of Stan's bed, where he spotted a couple of magazines tucked under a box. He mentally cheered for himself, and glanced up at Stan. Stan hadn't had noticed he wasn't being listened to, and he was still was talking about football. Kenny rolled his eyes, football had to be the gayest sport ever...No wonder Stan liked it...

Before Stan had any idea what was going on, Kenny had snuck his arm under the bed and tugged them out. His eyes widened as he saw the covers. It WAS gay porn! In fact, it was pretty graphic too, perhaps even more then Kenny's collection! That's a lot to say...

Stan, finally taking noticed of being ignored, was about to yell at Kenny for being rude, but his eyes widened and his heart nearly stopped when he saw what his friend was holding. He jumped off the bed to grab it, but Kenny jumped away, eyes still glued the the pictures as he flipped through.

"Too late, Stan, damage already done." he replied off handedly, still not looking up. Stan bit his lip, resisting the urge to cry for being discovered. He had hid it for so long, what would Kenny say? What if he told someone? He paled at the thought...

"Damn Stan, this is some hardcore shit!" Kenny said, amazed, even forgetting about Kyle for a moment. "And by the looks of it, you seem to be a fan of bondage..."

Stan flushed and turned away, bracing himself for ridicule. When it didn't come, he glanced at Kenny, who seemed to be thinking, flipping through the pages, planning...

"So, Stan, got your eyes on anyone at school? Hmm?"

"W-what? I, I...You're OK with me being gay?" Stan burst out frankly, looking thoroughly confused.

Kenny gave Stan a confused look. "Stan, I told you and everyone else I was bi last year."

He blinked. "You did?"

"Yeah."

awkward pause. "Oh...so you're OK with it?"

Kenny rolled his eyes. "Yes, dumbass." Before Stan could yell for the insult, he pressed on, "So you have your eyes on anyone at school?"

"I...I-I-"

Kenny sighed, setting aside the magazines. "Dude, you know I'm not going to tell anyone."

Stan paused for a few seconds, then nodded, although looking nervous. "Yeah, I do..."

"Who?"

Stan mumbled something Kenny couldn't hear.

"Who?"

Stan sighed, then said clearly, "Kyle."

Kenny grinned. "Knew it."

"What? How?"

"Kenny institution."

"...O...K..." He sighed, wringing his hands. Kenny had to marvel at how alike Stan was when nervous as Kyle, except he didn't get angry. "Do you...think he feels the same...?"

Kenny ran it over in his head in the span of a second, because he's amazing like that. Kyle had told him not to tell, but this was different, Stan felt the same...But still, he never broke a promise.

"I'm not sure." Stan looked crestfallen. "But you should tell him! Maybe he feels-"

"No." Stan said firmly. Goddamn it was infuriating how much the two were alike! "I can't, it'll make everything awkward...Besides, maybe I'm just confused, maybe I don't really feel that way about him."

Alright, fine, if he was going to get into denial and shit, Kenny would roll with it. "Lets test you."

Stan looked up, confused. "Huh?"

Kenny crawled forward, so that he was face to face with him. "We'll test you. You close your eyes, and pretend that I'm Kyle."

Stan frowned. "Are you sure you're not just being a pervert and trying to get in my pants?"

He snorted, rolling his eyes. "You wish. Sorry Stan, but you're too much of a pussy for my taste."

"Hey-!"

"So do you want to test it or not?"

Stan sighed, thinking..."Yeah, I think so. I'd...I'd rather be sure."

Kenny grinned. "Good! Now, all you have to do is close your eyes, nothing else. Pretend I'm Kyle..." He hoped for Kyle's sake that Stan did feel the same way...

Complying, Stan took a few shaky breaths and closed his eyes. He was definitely nervous, having Kenny, the biggest pervert ever, doing...things...to him, and imagine it was Kyle. Stan took a sharp intake of breath when he felt a hand snake around his waste...He could imagine Kyle's thin, slightly muscled arms, from playing basketball, do the same....Kyle was stroking his cheek lightly, pulling him closer. He could feel his hot breath against his neck, his lips kissing gently...In the back of his mind, the part that hadn't gone into this false reality that this was Kyle, wished that was indeed him.

As Kenny continued his ministrations, he couldn't help but feel slightly guilty. Sure, he was doing this for Kyle's sake, but still...he was kissing the neck of the guy his friend had a boner for. He was sure that fell under some sort of betrayal.

Kenny seemed to have struck a soft spot at his collar bone, because Stan suddenly threw back his head, with a cry of "KYLE!" Kenny grinned and pulled back slightly.

"Damn, you get aroused pretty easily. Stan, snapping back to reality, blushed deeply. Kenny noticed something pressing into his leg, and noticed Stan's very obvious erection. His eyebrows shot up. "Wow, you...If I was actually Kyle, would you have already cummed?"

Stan, confused, looked down, and blushed even deeper. Kenny wasn't paying attention though, because he had spotted something else that was hidden half-assily under Stan's night stand. "Stan, you trust me, right?"

He nodded. "Yeah." He was still embarrassed that his erection hadn't gone away, and didn't seem like it was going to...and he really wished he could go and jack off like a madman, but he wasn't doing that in front of Kenny.

Now, the things Kenny did next were done so fast Stan didn't have time to react. Suddenly, Kenny was practically tearing Stan's shirt over his head, and he was pushed back onto his back. Being momently dazed, Kenny had time to grab the handcuffs he had spotted and had them over Stan's head tied around the bars in no time. It was when Kenny was working on his jeans that Stan found his voice and panic. He tugged on his hands, which weren't going anywhere. "W-what are you doing?!"

Kenny tugged off his pants and socks before he responded, leaving Stan in only his boxers. "Trust me."

Stan grew slightly angry at that. "How am I supposed to trust the guy who handcuffed me to my bed?!" He was about to burst out more curses, but he noticed his erection hadn't gone away, in fact...He threw his head back and groaned in frustration. Dammit, he was horny! He'd never been this horny before, but between the whole Pretend-I'm-Kyle thing and the fact that being tied was turning him on...Shit! But his hands weren't going anywhere, so he couldn't even jack! He closed his eyes and hissed through his teeth.

Kenny watched with amusement before he spoke up. "Where are the keys?"

Thinking that Kenny had decided to release him, he readily replied, "They're in my nightstand drawer, in that black box."

Kenny walked over, opening the drawer, and easily found the box. He opened it to make sure it was there, then slipped it into his pocket. Spotted a blindfold in the drawer, he grinned, grabbed it and put it over Stan's closed eyes.

Stan opened his eyes in surprise only to see darkness. He realized faintly that it was his blindfold, and wanted to kill Kenny for, if possible, making him even more horny. Damn that poor son of a bitch!

"Now you be a good little boy and be quiet." Kenny told Stan in a teasing tone. Stan was about to scream at him to let him go, but he heard the familiar sound of dialing on his cell phone. What was Kenny-?

"Hey Kyle." Kenny greeted easily, looking at Stan to see his reaction. Stan had gone several shades paler and was pleading - without any sound coming from his lips - to stop. Kenny felt kind of bad, but he knew Kyle and Stan would owe him big for this.

"Kenny? Why're you on Stan's cellphone?" he heard Kyle reply, sounding like he was chewing on something. He was probably doing his homework and chewing on the eraser of his pencil.

"Kyle, can you come over to Stan's house?" he said, still watching Stan, who was chewing on his bottom lip in both distress and sexual frustration.

"Why?"

"Well, Stan's really upset, but he won't tell me what it is. I think it would be better if you came to talk to him, you two can talk easier."

"Upset? Is it something bad?"

"I'm not sure, but it would be best if you can right away."

"Alright, I'll-"

"In fact, just come right on in, the door's unlocked, and he's in his room. I have to get to work, and Stan refuses to talk to me anyway." He lied. He worked at a sexshop, surprise surprise. Now that he thought about it, he wondered if Stan had bought his handcuffs while he wasn't on shift.

"Oh, OK then, tell Stan I'll be over right away."

Kenny grinned, but kept his voice from showing it. "Will do, bye."

"Bye." Both hung up, and Kenny fixed his gaze on Stan, who looked mad enough to kill...but still horny.

"Staaaaan!" Kenny sang out in a singsong voice, "Kyle said he'd be over right away!"

"Fuck, Kenny, why the hell did you do that!?" Stan pulled at his bounds again, but only succeeded to hurt his wrists.

Kenny shrugged, still grinning. "You'll thank me." And with that, he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. But he wasn't going to leave the house. No, he'd hide in a place where he'd hear the conversation, then leave when they started going crazy on each other...Maybe. Perhaps he'd stay around to listen...He grinned. Kyle and Stan owed him big time, even if they didn't know it yet.

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Kyle quickly made it to Stan's house, nervous about what his friend could be upset about...and also nervous about seeing him, the fear he might blurt out his undying love for him. Kyle rolled his eyes at his term for it, but it was true. Kyle had never felt so strongly for anyone besides Stan...Which is why he couldn't tell his feelings, he couldn't risk losing him.

As promised by Kenny, the front door was unlocked. No one appeared to be home, so Kyle guessed Stan was the only one home.

He made his way up the stairs, readying himself to comfort Stan if the need arrised. He opening Stan's door -

- and promptly froze.

Oh god, what-?!

There was Stan, blindfolded and tied to the bed, in nothing but a pair of blue boxers. Suddenly, the room seemed unnaturally hot as he allowed himself to gaze, seeing as Stan wouldn't be able to see him practically drooling. But still, how?

"Stan, what-"

"Kenny."

"What-" again, he was interrupted.

"Kenny, he - that goddamn bastard got me horny and fucking tied me to my fucking bed!" Stan grit his teeth, face flushed as he was free to gaze at by his love - and getting even more turned on by it! He thrust his hips into the air, as if searching for some sort of relief, but met with nothing but air. "And now I can't even do anything about it!!"

Kyle was getting hard, and fast. He managed to speak, though. "Where are the keys to the -"

"He took them!"

There was a silence. Kyle was trying to resist the urge to jump Stan, and Stan suddenly couldn't think of anything but finding relief.

"Kyle, could you..."

"Kenny said he was going to work, so I could go get the key and -"

"No! Jesus Kyle! I can't - I can't wait that long! I need it now!" He threw his head back and groaned, still thrusting fruitlessly, oblivious that he was giving a little show to his friend.

"B-but Stan, I -"

"Please." he pleaded, his voice cracking. "Please, I need it..."

Kyle bit at his lip, completely hard now, and unable to make a choice. He didn't want to be used...but dammit, he wasn't cruel enough to just leave Stan in this state. Thank god Stan had that blindfold though, or else he wouldn't be able to explain his boner.

"O...Okay." he said timidly, walking over.

Stan gave a little sigh. "Thank you..."

Shaking slightly, he slid down Stan's boxers. He bit back a groan, seeing Stan's erection. He was still hesitant, though. Stan would freak if he found out what Kyle felt and he'd still given him a hand job...

Stan was beyond thinking rationally, only wanting this need to be filled. Dammit, Kyle still wasn't doing anything! "Kyle, please..."

Sighing, Kyle wrapped his hand around the base of Stan's dick, being earned with a groan and a hip thrust. Encouraged, Kyle began to move his hand up and down, slowly at first, but then faster. He had to use all of his self control not to beat off as well...Stan was making it hard though, with his moans, gasps, groans, then suddenly, he cried out -

"AH! KYLE!"

Having Stan cry out his name made him stop in shock, which made Stan realize what he'd said. Crap! He must know now! Shit! Goddamnit, when Stan got a hold of Kenny-!!

All thoughts were wiped from his mind when Kyle was suddenly on top of him, kissing him which such a fiery passion that spoke for everything unsaid. Kyle felt the same, and with that thought, Stan kissed back eagerly. Kyle pulled back after a minute, breathing heavily, running his hand up and down Stan's sides, leaving them pleasantly warm.

"Oh god Stan, you have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."

Stan, still breathing heavily, managed a "Me too." Suddenly, his horniest from before was back, and full force. He felt Kyle taking off his blind fold, allowing himself to see Kyle for himself. looking at his lust filled eyes, he knew what he wanted.

"I want you."

Kyle looked taken aback. "What?"

"I want you." he repeated, thrusting himself to grind against Kyle to prove his point, which had Kyle gasping. Without much more thought, Kyle crushed his lips into Stan's again, turning off the lamb on the bedside with his hand.

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Leaning on the door on the outside sat a flustered Kenny. Damn, if he stayed any longer, he'd have to barge in there and force the two into a threesome. But this was Stan and Kyle's time...

And stood up, brushing himself off, and left the box with the key sitting outside their door. Saticfied with how things went, he left the house for real this time.

And man, did they owe him big time.