Zim against the world

Jhonen owns everything. I just borrow it for a bit.


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Zim sighed as he heard laser fire outside the window and got out of bed. It was the middle of the night for crying out loud!! He heard the familer yelp of a certain black haired boy he knew. "The gnomes shoot lasers, idiot." He remarked, shaking his head even though Dib couldn't see or hear him. The alien and human had both grown since Zim had come to Earth five years ago, but obviously Dib still hadn't gotten the fact that his base was impenetrable by such inferior human means.

Well... almost impenetrable.

Zim smirked slightly, remembering the times when Dib had managed to actually get into his base. The human trying to destroy him... Those had been such amusing times. Not that he WANTED Dib to try to stop him, of course. He would have a much easier time if Dib wasn't there.

But the human did make things interesting.

Suddenly the room suddenly went dark, the electricity cut. Zim squinted around. "Gir!" He called authoritatively. There was the scratchy, skittering sound of Gir's metallic feet approaching. "Night vision!" Zim said and groped around for the small robot. By the time his fingers had closed on his servant, two identical holes had opened in the back of Gir's head. Zim put his eyes up to them and peered through Gir's eyes, using them like binoculars. He blinked at a movement to one side and turned just in time to see a figure running at him, arms outstretched. Throwing Gir to one side, Zim tried to run but the figure abruptly crashed into him and he was knocked to the floor.

"I've got you now Zim!" Dazed, the Irken stared at Dib through the gloom. The black haired boy had grown consideringly. His head finally matched his body, sort of, and his hair had gotten longer... though one piece still stuck out. He still wore the same clothes except in a bigger size. The happy face on his shirt was still the same unsmiling, unfrowning, face. "Gah!" Zim felt his hands yanked over his head, both his wrists being held with just one of Dib's.

"You inferior human scum!" He growled, trying to buy himself some time as his eyes adjusted. Through the darkness, Zim noticed Gir sitting nearby, watching the fight. He was about to call out when Dib hit him square in the face. There was a lashing pain and Zim saw stars. Some of them he recognized. Blinking rapidly, the alien tried to ignore the pain and thrashed furiously in an attempt to loosen the human's grip. His mind turned back to the robot. It was probably his only hope on getting out of this prediciment.

"Gir!" He yelled, scanning the room with his still-dulled eyes. "Gir get over here!" There was a flash of metal as Gir let out a squeal and hurtled towards them. By sheer luck, the robot hit them at an angle that sent them both sprawling across the floor in different directions. Dib was up first, walking towards Zim, his eyes blazing. Still stunned by the impact, Zim blinked up stupidly as the distance closed. Finally Zim shook himself, scrambled to the wall, and pressed down on a square-shaped panel. There was a click as a keyboard came out of it and Zim hurriedly typed a few keys with his trembling fingers. Dib was nearly upon him. He closed his eyes as the human drew his fist back. Suddenly two huge metallic hands came out of the ceiling and plucked Dib into the air.

Zim watched as the arms skimmed across the room and threw Dib out the front door, the force knocking him across the road and making him slam into the curb on the other side. Interested despite himself, Zim strode foreword until he was standing, safely, on his front steps. He watched as Dib deftly brushed himself off and pointed an accusing finger at Zim. As usual, the human hardly seemed injured at all by the rough treatment. Perhaps he had gotten used to it. "I'll get you!" Dib cried, his voice having deepened over the years so it came out rather growly. "You just wait Zim. Someday I'll show the world what you really are." Although Zim had heard the same line many times, it still sent the smallest prickle of admiration through him. The way Dib spoke... without any doubt... it was almost, ALMOST, Irken-like.

A low humming sound made him turn to see a large computer screen descend from the ceiling. ~Never gonna give you up! Never gonna let you down!~ His breath quickened as he realized the Tallests were calling. He ran over to the screen, nearly tripping over his own boots in his eagerness to get there. Standing at attention as the computer screen flashed on, he marveled at the two Irkens that appeared in front of him on the screen. One was dressed in purple and one was dressed in red, marking their names. Their glorious, GLORIOUS names.

"Hello Zim." Red greeted, scanning the invader with wide eyes. "What.. er... what is your progress in taking over Earth."

Purple came up beside Red, gasping as his amethyst eyes scoured Zim from head to heel. "Red! Oh for the moons of Gritilan, look how small his SIR unit is next to him!" Purple shook Red's shoulder, his voice cracking as he stared at Zim. "Red, you don't think that he's... that he's even taller than us-mmph!" Red's hand clamped down hard over his counterpart's mouth, as if stuffing the words back inside.

Zim remained oblivious to the exchange, simply basking in his leaders' presence. "My Tallests." He said at last, his voice dripping with respect. "The invasion goes well. I am still troubled by the meddling humanoid Dib but he is nothing to worry about. NOTHING! Er... yes. Other than that, I am pleased to inform you that I have some brand-new SHINY plans for taking over this dirt-ball!" He grinned toothily and opened his mouth to explain the rhino-mind-control plot.

The Tallests coughed nervously, interrupting him. "Umm Zim...." Purple began, "We've uh.. been talking it over and er.. after long and careful deliberation we uh-"

"-we have decided you should stay on Earth." Red finished bluntly.

Zim's expression turned to one of shock. It would have been comical if not for the situation. He stared dumbly at the Tallests, not blinking. "Excuse me?" He asked softly, thinking he must have heard wrong. "Did you just say you were going to leave me on Earth?" The look on Red's face told him the answer and he shook his head, his eyes wide and wild. "No..." He said, taking a step back from the screen. "I will conquer this planet and then I shall return and hand it over to you... that is every invader's dream!" His voice rose in emotion and pitch. "I have to return to Irk. It...it is impossible for me to stay here!!"

Purple waved his arms. "Oh, no, you have to stay away. Far, far away! It's for the good of Irk."

Zim shut his eyes. That was the same thing they said when they banished him to FoodCourtia. He clenched his jaw and forced an army of whimpers back. "Don't call us, we'll call you." Purple said, cheerful but insistant. As soon as the screen turned black he let out a howl and sank to his knees, banished to the pitiful planet called Earth.

Minutes passed unnoticed and suddenly he heard an explosion from outside his door. Second explosion in what? Half an hour? A muffled shout made him turn. As soon as he did, the door crashed open. Standing in the door-frame was Dib, holding his head high and grinning in triumph at getting through Zim's defenses for a second time in as many tries.

Peering dully behind Dib, Zim noticed a path through the lawn gnomes, cut away by brute force. Pieces of plaster and machinery littered the way and patches of grass were smoldering slightly. Even the harmless lawn ornaments that were simply used to better blend in on Earth lay in pieces, blow to bits.

Zim didn't move. Didn't even bat an eye at the destruction. He didn't make any move to stop Dib as he walked up and punched him hard in the exact same spot as he had the first time. Zim sprawled out across the floor and lay there silently as Dib got out a camera and took pictures of his limp, alien, form.

As the shutter clicked and Zim still didn't move, Dib narrowed his eyes. He bent down and picked Zim up by the front of his scarlet and black striped shirt. "Zim fight back!" He demanded, shaking him like a rag doll. Zim just lay in Dib's grip limply. Dib sighed and tossed Zim to the ground. He brought back his fist again, then lowered it with an aggravated sigh. "What's wrong with you? Hey!" A black boot struck Zim between the ribs and he let out a high-pitched cry before going quiet again. Out of the corner of his eye, Zim could see Dib snarl and head towards the door. "Fine! Lie there like a lump for all I care. I've got all the evidence I need!" Pale hands moved the camera obviously, but the alien didn't follow. Near the hole in the wall, Dib paused a moment. Then with slow, aggravated steps, he came back and crouched down beside his fallen enemy. "Ok Zim." He said gruffly, rubbing his temples. "You've got me curious. What's wrong?"

Zim's eyes blinked dimly. "The Tallests..." He said softly. "They have banished me... and this time Zim can't go back. Their defenses have strengthened from last time..." From last time he had tried to go home. "Zim can never leave this pitiful planet." He slowly got to his feet and set his eyes on Dib, who was still sitting on the floor. With slight hesitation the green boy held out a gloved hand, palm up. "Go on." He muttered. "Zim... I-I am tired. Tired of running, tired of fighting, just so... tired. Turn me over to this Mysterious Mysteries place or whatever." He hung his head, his antennae hanging lifeless. "Do as you wish."

Golden eyes gazed at Zim as Dib stood up, as close to the alien as he had ever gotten without physically assaulting him. He looked at the invader for a second, then reached down and grabbed the alien's thin wrist. With his other hand Dib reached into his pocket and drew out a long piece of string. After all, what was a pocket without string? He took Zim's other wrist and deftly bound them together, watching Zim closely all the while. Zim stared as his wrists were bound together, not making any move to stop him. He was finished. He didn't even resist as Dib began to lead him out of his base, then stopped. "What about your backpack?" The suspicion in the dark-haired boy's voice was evident.

Zim pulled his hands back enough to reached around himself and press a small button. As soon as he did the PAK fell to the ground, leaving four metal circles where they had attached to his spine through his shirt and skin. As the PAK was removed, the holes closed over with a thin layer of material, like inner skin, waiting to be broken when the PAK was replaced. Only this time, it wouldn't be. Zim watched Dib pick it up and toss it back towards his base to get later. Usually Irkens needed their PAKs to survive, but in the time Zim had been on earth, he had found it hindered his disguises. So he had adjusted himself, finding human substitutes for what the PAK usually provided him.

It was amazing how similar peanut butter was to gli-gli.

As they reached the street, Gir came running out of the house after them.

Without having to be asked, Zim nodded towards the small robot. "The button to set hibernation mode is in the back of his head." Zim said. Again, something he had done on Earth. Zim's eyes trailed Dib's hand as it moved to the back of Gir's head. A second of fumbling, then the light vanished from Gir's eyes and he fell over as a lifeless heap of metal. Zim didn't look at the form with whom he had shared so many adventures with as Dib tossed him near Zim's PAK. He just followed as Dib pulled him slowly away.