Fairly FlawedParents

Even With the Afterglow He's not too Bright

Still glowing warmly, Cosmo turned his attention back to the beautiful little girl in front of him. He stroked her hair curiously and observed out loud, “Wow, your hair looks really dark. Actually, all of you is really dark, considering...” Then panic began to set in. “Where's your afterglow? You usually at least fake it for me. And how come you're not talking non-stop now? You know I can only fall asleep after making love if you start telling me about your feelings!”

He pushed himself up and leaned over his accidental lover, looking her in the face. “Why oh why do you look so different: so young, happy, peaceful and contented? And most important of all, why aren't you Wand... uh...” Cosmo clasped both hands over his mouth and stared in horror, his eyes slowly widening to the size of saucers. The glow around him intensified, filling the room with a bright golden light. Trixie sleepily covered her eyes with one arm while pulling the covers completely over herself.

As soon as her head was covered, Cosmo shot up in the air and spun around several times in a frenzy. “Gotta get out of here! Gotta hide! Where're my clothes!?” He flew to the middle of the room and, one piece at a time, snatched up articles of clothing and tried to put them on as he spun around excitedly, looking for what to grab next. Just outside the window, a figure clad in black, revealing only the burning blue eyes behind a ski mask, stared inside until Cosmo's blinding glow became too intense.

In his hurry, he first put his underpants on his head, his slacks on one arm, one leg inside his short-sleeve shirt, and one sock over his right hand. Still terrified, he held the sock up to his face and looked at it desperately. “What the heck am I doing!?” he quietly scolded himself before clenching his teeth.

The sock turned to face him, with two little holes where eyes would be, and his fingers and thumbs opened and closed a fold as it spoke. “You're panicking because you just made love to a pre-teen girl, which, by itself, is punished severely under fairy law. But what's really bad is that she's the girl your fairy godchild is in love with – a much more-serious crime. Man, if you're caught you'd get the most horrifying punishment ever.”

“Which is?” Cosmo asked the sock puppet.

“Your wife will find out! Hahahahaha!”

Cosmo whimpered and started crying.

“Hey, cheer up. There's a bright side to all of this.”

“What's that, O holey sock?” he asked hopefully.

“You just nailed the prettiest and most-popular girl in Dimmsdale Elementary School, dude!”

“Darn you!” Cosmo cursed while ripping the vindictive hosiery off his hand. He dashed to the nightstand and grasped for his wand. In a flash, his clothes disappeared from the floor and he was just an ordinary goldfish, with an ordinary magic wand and an ordinary little golden crown, swimming around in the fishbowl. He put a fin to his head and tried to catch his water while thinking about out what to do next.

He didn't even notice the window slowly opening.