Ms. Frizzle's Class Explores the Human Body
Epilogue 2: Who Produced This Crap?
The two producers that close every episode of The Magic School Bus: The Original Series by taking in phone calls from kids all across the world stare dumbfoundedly into the camera.
“I genuinely have no idea what the fuck that just was,” the African-American producer finally said shaking his head into his hands.
“I know what that was,” said his Asian-American colleague, “That was us losing our fucking jobs.” She reaches underneath her desk and starts pouring herself a glass of vodka, before shrugging and just drinking out of the bottle.
“You’re worried about our jobs?! If we air this smut on TV, they are going to throw us in prison! What the hell was Ms. Frizzle thinking?”
“Oh, is it suddenly dawning on you that the woman who thinks it’s a good idea to shrink children and have them swim around in stomach acid might just be a bad influence on kids?”
“Give me that!” the male producer shouted as he grabbed the bottle of vodka from her and took a swig, “At least it was well-written smut…”
“Purple prose and overlong descriptions aren’t good writing,” she replied with a grimace, “And if I have to hear a woman’s privates described as “her velvety pink sex” ever again, I promise you, I’m swearing off sex and becoming a nun.”
“Did you hear what Ms. Frizzle said at the end of the episode? She’s planning on taking the kids to Hell!!? Just how the fuck does she expect us to afford that? We already blew past our budget on that corny episode that ripped off Jurassic Park!”
“Hey, if you want to go argue with a literal sex demon over money, be my guest. I’m going to start sending my resumes out tomorrow. Maybe Sesame Street is hiring. No one is fucking on Sesame Street.”
“Wasn’t there a big story recently about them unveiling a little Muppet with AIDS on that show?” The male producer shrugged, “That implies someone is fucking someone on that show.”
“You’re a fucking idiot, you know that? …Hey wait a minute…why is that camera light on? Are we airing Live right now?!”
“OH SHI-”
The producers lunge toward the camera and the feed goes black.
THE END