A Birthday Wish

“Dude, she walked in on that?!” Ron boggled at the thought, and blushed in embarrassment on behalf of Felix and Zita.

“Not my most shining moment…” Felix ducked his head, but nodded.

“You?!” the latina smacked him in the shoulder, “I was the one with your cum all over my hands!”

Felix ducked his head again in embarrassment, blushing hard.

“Awe man, almost makes me glad I got banished to the attic when we adopted Hanna.” Ron laughed and rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, well not all of us can navigate stairs you know,” Felix grumbled good naturedly.

“What about you, Miss Florez?” Ron looked at his ex and Felix’s current girl, “Did you get a talking to from madre and papi?”

“Yeah, when I was fourteen.” She snorted and rolled her eyes, “They want more grandkids I think… Lord only knows my sisters have given them enough.”

“Ugh…” Felix groaned and shook his head, “Dude, We’re just out of highschool, I can barely wipe my own ass, how would I take care of a baby?”

“Hello?” Ron made big mechanical gestures, “Auto-manipulators?”

“Ronnie!” Zita got big-eyed in a hurry, “Don’t give my parents any ideas!”

“Where are they?” the blond looked around  suddenly, as if hunted. The parents’ Florez had definitely eyed him up as a potential baby-daddy as well when he had been dating Zita the previous year; so he knew how Felix and Zita felt.

And worse, he wasn’t sure his own parents might not have had similar ideas, inviting Zita to temple with them on more than one occasion.

“So yeah, needless to say I got to spend the rest of the afternoon on the couch, listening to all sorts of nasty stuff about STDs and unwanted pregnancies and being careful and do I love Zita…” The wheel-bound boy bemoaned, tugging a hand through his hair.

“Meanwhile, I think my parents were getting out the sangria and toasting when Dr. Renton called them to ask if they knew what I had been doing.” Zita looked down at her salad and sighed. “They don’t seem to get that I am not up for the big Catholic family thing.”

“Upshot, my mom gave me an entire box of condoms… which is… way weird…” Felix chuckled uneasily, “But saves me some money.”

“ixnay on the ondomscay” Zita reached over and sharply pinched her boyfriend, “If my parents knew about that they’d really chew me out! You have no idea how big a thing contraception is in my family! They tried to have me and my sisters held out of health class over it.”

“No, your three nieces and four nephews never would have clued me in your family wasn’t big on preventative care…” Felix rolled his eyes.

“Just warn your mom about that, would you? I have a feeling we’re in for a big family dinner this weekend, and the last thing I want is my mother making the sign of the cross and fainting when your mom asks if I’m on the pill like she asked me.”

Ron winced at that and decided to steer clear of any further reproductive talk, “So, um…. How about them MIT Protons?”

The other two teens knew when the topic was being changed and laughed loudly, then Felix looked oddly at Ron, “Um, say there circumcised boy… isn’t that a PORK carnita?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Ron…” Zita rolled her big brown eyes and blew a breath through her bangs, “Kosher?”

“Oh…” the Hebrew looked at his plate, and then shrugged before taking another bite, “I’m not Orthadox…”

Again the other teens laughed and shook their heads. After a minute though, Felix looked up, “Hey, isn’t that… Shego?”

Ron’s head snapped around as though it were attached to springs. Indeed it was the verdant villainess, and she was chatting with Monique?”

“Oi, not again…” Zita whined.

“What do you mean, ‘not again’,” Felix looked over curiously.

“”I mean I want to leave before they start groping each other… I had to kick them out of the theater last month for making out too loudly during Brick Hard.” She bemoaned, grabbing her purse.

Felix blinked, “How in the heck do you make out too loudly during a hundred and four decibel movie?”

“Making out? Wha?” Ron’s head tilted the other direction before he looked back over at Shego and Monique.

“Let’s just say if the usher hadn’t stopped them when he did,” Zita rolled her eyes, “I would have had to call the cops.”

“Okay, you two are totally yanking me…” The third teen pointed a finger at the other two, smirking.

“No, that was five minutes ago, Ron. And it was me, not you.” Felix winked, “Keep up with the conversation.”

“Oh, come on!” The blond scoffed openly, “Shego is like, totally screwing her masseuse in Greece! Kim told me so! And Monique? She doesn’t even do that!”

“Tell that the ‘banned for one year’ pictures behind the counter at the omniplex, Ron,” Zita sighed. “I didn’t even need the flashlight to see the black lipstick marks on Monique’s neck.”

[i]”This is Kim, leave a message. Unless it’s Ron, in which case go die of root rot. Toodles!”[/i]

The boy winced and sighed heavily, sniffing a bit as his confusion was replaced by instant despair.

Felix and Zita had easily been able to hear the voice prompt bouncing off of Ron’s big ears, and sighed as well.

“She’s still not talking to you man?”

“Not talking to me? I’m surprised she hasn’t asked global justice to put out a tactical strike on me yet.” The blond bemoaned as he slipped his phone back into a cargo poket.

“Ronnie,” Zita tried to soothe, “You have to apologize to her!”

“Tried that… she nearly beat me to death with the flowers.” He winced at the memory.

“Maybe… talk to Monique?” Felix offered after a moment, “They’re still talking to each other.”

Ron looked over to the two women sitting at another out-door table, “Maybe after Shego leaves? What the heck is she doing here anyways?”

Felix peered across the distance hard, and then delivered his estimate, “Off hand, I’d say she’s using her foot in a way nature never intended.”

A quick slap in the back of the head from Zita got another response out of the handicapped boy, “What?! It’s just what it looks like from here!”

Yes I'm back.... Slowly updating and adding to stories, including this one, my thus-far lone adult story. Remember, reviews=love!