Prince of Penance

Chapter Six: On Being Comfortable

It wasn't until late in the week that Gruffi finally got up the courage to go find Gusto. For all their talk of wanting to help him and support him, the Glen Gummies had been very quiet on the subject after the wizards had left their company. The business of packing up their wagons, Calvin finding and renting ponies small enough for their use from humans, and getting the last of the Gummi Berry juice in proper storage, took up most of the week. Gusto had quietly helped with all of this, but for the most part he just boxed up as many of his paintings as he could and stored them away in the basement.

Didn't help that he started making new paintings halfway through the week with the darn paints that Zummi had given him, which didn't explode but DID flash unpleasantly bright colours for anyone who was unfortunate enough to pass by. Gruffi had expressly declined helping to put these paintings in storage, or find an appropriate place for them.

But then Tummi had a thoughtful moment where he thought the flashing paintings would be great to light the quick car tunnels, which they couldn't use for their journey. Turned out the quick car track that went in the direction of Botanon Bay was caved in and couldn't be used. So they rented the ponies.

But deciding what to bring with them had been difficult, for they didn't know exactly how long they would be in Monteray, and whether or not they would be provided for upon arrival or whether they would have to fend for themselves in any way.

"If the Court is as stuffy as I remember it," Gusto had told them. "The Crown and Council put you all to work in the castle somewhere rather than honouring you as guests. But they may provide you with rooms in the palace..."

Eventually they all agreed to travel as light as possible, taking only clothes, Grammi's cooking supplies and Gruffi's necessary tools, and enough food to last them the week it would take to get to the harbour.

But Gruffi couldn't just leave things as they were between him and Gusto. He needed to clear the uneasy air that had settled over the Glen on the subject of Gusto's coming troubles. So on the last night of their stay at Gummi Glen before setting out, Gruffi went to knock on Gusto's bedroom door, only to find it unlocked.

He knocked. No answer. He peeked in.

Let's hope he didn't run for it, like the Councillors said he would...

What he had thought he'd find, an empty bed and a note, turned out to be completely false, and he cursed himself for ever believing Gusto would abandon those in need. Instead he found his friend, curled up in a ball on his bed, choking down bitter sobs of grief, his face buried in a pillow. It seemed Artie, his dear feathered friend, had been trying to console him, but was having no luck of any kind, and gave Gruffi a look that said 'Do something!'

Gruffi did. He took a step into the room, and then another, and then sat on the bed and put a hand on Gusto's head.

"Oh," Gusto gulped and swallowed and rubbed his eyes. "Gruffi, I was just...I'm sorry, so embarrassed, I..."

"Cleaning out the emotional cupboards huh?" Gruffi surmised, keeping his hand behind one of Gusto's ears as the bear sat up. "Mum used to say there was nothing better for cleaning out the old closet than a good cry. Of course I stopped crying the day she died," Gruffi took a deep breath. "And look at me, all bitter and grumpy. You're better off crying, nothing to be embarrassed about."

"I...I'm just so...so..."

"Scared?"

Gusto gasped and swallowed hard, eyes brimming over. He nodded, head jerking up and down violently. He was shaking so badly that Gruffi had to take his head in both hands and kiss him to calm him down.

That brought Gusto back to the present, and he stared at Gruffi in shock.

"I meant what I said, Gusto. I'm here for you."

It was a momentary pause, in which Gusto searched his eyes deeply for the validity of his comments. Then the bear threw himself into Gruffi's arms sobbing, and buried his head in Gruffi's shoulder.

"Don't wanna go, don't wanna go, don't, don't, Gruffi, oh Great Gum save me!"

"Oh Gusto," Gruffi took a deep breath, stilling the pain in his own chest and just holding Gusto tight as he vented his fear. "I promise, I won't let you get hurt. I'll protect you."

"I...don't think you can..." Gusto covered his face in his hands. "I've been dreaming of this awful moment for fifteen years, and here it is, I'm on my way back, back there again. D-do you know why I can't control my own monster Gruffi? Do you?"

Gruffi shook his head, and looked at Gusto with deep sympathy, feeling the waves of anguish rolling off his shivering body like a waterfall.

Gusto was drowning and he, Gruffi, didn't know how to save him.

"I can't control it because I can't even look at it! I freeze; my body goes numb. I fainted the last time, and that's how the council found me and caught me! Half conscious on the ground because I couldn't bear to look upon my own creation long enough to ride it to safety. I had control of it, I had the Seal and I couldn't even bear to see what I had summoned."

"Well, if it's your greatest fear, can anybody blame you?" Gruffi said. "I couldn't imagine facing my greatest fears in such a horrible way."

Gusto nodded, and just clung to Gruffi for long moments, letting the emotions and shivering pass.

"I'm scared but...I know I have to do this. For my sister. For my family. I can't shame myself by running away, by being a coward. I need to do this for those nameless people who died whose faces are now in my brain whether I wanted them to be or not. I haven't any choice anymore."

"I know hon, I know."

They enjoyed a silent moment of just sitting there together, and then Gusto broke the pained silence by chuckling.

"What?" Gruffi asked, feeling for some reason annoyed.

"Hon, heh, you called me 'hon'," Gusto snickered.

"Oh! Well, I'm getting used to this...thing...relationship...yeah..."

Gusto smirked, and reached up to kiss Gruffi and pull the hat from off of his head.

"You know, I may never come back to Gummi Glen..."

"You're not going to die..."

"..So..." Gusto was still smiling, and leaning ever and ever closer. "I want to remember my last night here forever..."

"Ah...I see..."

It didn't take long for Gruffi to figure out just what Gusto meant. He decided afterwards that he'd probably remember it forever himself.

-seperator-

When morning came Gruffi found himself wrapped around a ball blue fur. Gusto was sleeping so peacefully it was as if the terrors from the night before had never happened.

Mine...Gruffi decided covetously, snuggling up closer. Just let those stuff shirt wizards try and separate us! I'll give 'em the old one two punch in the nose!

There was a startled squeak at the door, followed by a giggle as Gruffi quickly pulled the covers over them both.

"Should I come back later?" Grammi said coyly, holding out her basket of laundry through the door. "Or did you need a clean change of clothes?"

Gruffi growled at her and she left the basket in the door, skipping off to the kitchen whilst humming a merry love song that soon filled the house with its romance. Gruffi rolled over in disgust at her womanly vapours and punched the pillow. But Gusto apparently couldn't help himself and started chuckling uproariously.

"Well there's one down. When she we tell the others?"

"When I'm a gray old bear," Gruffi complained, climbing out of bed and pulling on a shirt from the basket. "You have to finish your packing you know, we're leaving after lunch."

"Yeah, I'm not taking much with me..." Gusto said. "I want there to be stuff here waiting for me. As the old saying goes, 'If you pack everything for a trip you might as well move to New Gumbrea while you're at it.'"

That made Gruffi chuckle, and he threw a clean shirt at his 'lover', hitting him directly in the face with it.

"Come on...I can smell Grammi's blueberry pancakes already, may be the last good home cooked meal we have in a while."

Gusto didn't need to be asked twice, quickly pulling on shirt hat and sandals, and tying his hankerchief around his neck, before zipping off to the kitchen.

Some things never change, thought Gruffi with a smile. Thank the Great Gummies for that.