Goddess Rising

Apparently one eye was swollen shut, because he couldn't open it. But the left one was open. And annoyed.

"Leave me alone!" Dib cried, covering his head with a blanket. "I just want to be left alone..."

Of course she didn't cease pounding on the door. "For two days?! You're going to starve to death, you fucking retard!" She was screaming at the top of her lungs; he could barely hear her through the metal. "And then the cockroach will start humping ME."

Had it really been two days? He only felt like he had been sleeping for a few hours. With effort, he tried to roll to his side. He couldn't. His limbs were so stiff that just bringing up his knees was a chore.

"Gaz..."

More pounding.

"GAZ!"

Silence.

"I... I can't move."

More silence.

".....Great." Tapping noises were to be heard on the other side of the door. "Please tell me you have all of your clothes on. I've seen your weener way too much to ever live a normal existence again."

After a few moments, there was a beeping noise and the door slid open. Gaz calmly walked into the room with GIR following closely behind. "I'M A HACKER!" he cried triumphantly, latching onto the girl's boots and laughing maniacally.

She stopped before Dib and looked down on him, frowning. "You look like shit."

"I feel like it, too."

"I can't believe you let him beat you up like that, you fucking pussy." Shaking her head, she bent down and brushed his hair (roughly) from his face. "Ugh. You're all oozy."

"He looks like a pizza!" GIR stated, hopping back to the floor and looking at Dib's face closely. "Can I taste him?" Before either human could answer, he licked Dib's swollen eye with his rubbery metallic tongue, causing the boy to howl in pain.

Trying desperately to hold back her mirth, Gaz coughed, "Jesus, Dib! You smell, too." She picked up the hem of his trenchcoat with a thumb and forefinger and grimaced. "You must have a week's worth of sweat in this thing." Further inspection past the edge of the coat revealed that his sides were black and blue, as well as some hideous shades of purple. He had garish red scratches on the sides of his neck and arms. "Damn, Zim's like a little Swiss Army Knife, isn't he?" Sitting back on her haunches, Gaz grabbed Dib's arms and pulled on him. "C'Mon... .Try to get up... You've gotta stretch out those limbs a little."

After some grunting and a little push on the back from GIR, Dib was finally able to sit up. "There you go," Gaz encouraged him, in an uncharacteristically cheerful tone. "Now just stretch out your legs a bit and loosen up your muscles."

Wincing, Dib stretched out his long legs, feeling every muscle complain as they went. Next, he pulled up his arms, which felt like lead weights, and tried to touch his knees.

"Okay, now get some oxygen in you. Take a nice, deep breath."

Dib made to inhale, but just as he did he felt a white hot knife of pain stabbing him square in the chest. "G--HaaH...!" He doubled over and his vision blurred as he felt his lungs explode with the most horrible pain he had ever felt. Before Gaz could react, he vomited into his hands, choking on the liquid as it went.

Blood.

He blacked out.

***********************

Something was periodically piercing his chest in short bursts. Twitching, he tried to open his good eye but it was futile. He instead lay docile as the process was completed... It didn't hurt, per se... It was just uncomfortable. He was uncomfortable anyway... Lying on his stomach on some sort of flat table, pretty much naked except for a cloth over his ass. After a few moments he surmised that something, probably a laser, was operating on him from the outside.

A cool salve was applied to his back with strong, articulate hands. Zim's hands.

He heard Gaz's voice. "Well... You went too far this time, you understand?" When Zim didn't speak, she continued, "I don't know how you people do shit on your planet, but on EARTH we don't beat our lovers to death." Zim's hands twitched a bit irritably. Judging from the positioning of his hands and the sound of Gaz's voice, he had his back to her.

"I know you think I'm just being bitchy to you, but really. Use your little brain a minute. Dib may be an idiot but he won't put up with this from you... He'll leave you."

Zim's hands slowed. "Eh? Where would he go?"

Snorting, Gaz replied, "With Tak, maybe? I dunno, I wouldn't hang around a guy who smacked me around whenever he got angry."

The sound of a door sliding shut. Gaz had obviously left. Dib was somewhat surprised to hear her lecture Zim like that... It was almost an indication that she CARED. That alone made him feel like maybe continuing to live was worth it. But what of Zim...? She was right; he shouldn't allow himself to be treated like that whenever Zim lost his temper. But then again, Tak had always been a rival of Zim's, and if he were in Zim's shoes he would be upset as well.

Zim's hands slowed more and more as he worked, until they finally stopped in their place, resting right below Dib's shoulders. Bowing and laying his forehead on his hands, Zim whispered, "Please..."

"Please don't leave me..."

Dib felt as if he would cry, but he didn't want to betray that he was awake. He took in a sharp breath, trying to compose himself, and felt another stabbing sensation in his chest. Trying hard not to cry out, he twitched uncomfortably and Zim stood up.

"GIR!" he cried, "The anaesthesia is wearing off! I thought I told you to keep track of it!"

"I'm sorry, master..." the little robot sniffled from a far-off corner. He jumped down from wherever he was sitting and a small "beep" was heard as he obviously hit a button.

Dib immediately felt a warm, tingly sensation flowing through is body and he relaxed.

"Dib's not going to die, is he?" GIR murmered, sniffling again. "He was funny. I liked his big head."

"His head's not THAT big..." Zim replied quietly, continuing to apply the salve.

Thinking it would be pathetic if that was the last thing he ever heard, Dib drifted off again.

*********************************************************************

The human awoke again in a semi-dark room. He was placed on a very soft cot, sitting at a 75 degree angle. There was a machine placed on each side, obviously monitoring his progress. He couldn't read what either one of them said, though; they were in that strange language Gaz was studying.

On his left side, perpendicular to him on the wall, sat Zim. He was sitting back against his captain's chair, head lolled to the side in slumber. Dib pitied him slightly; he looked completely exhausted. Wondering how long it had been since he last awoke, Dib looked around for a clock or any indicator of the time. He found none.

When he looked back to the left, he saw Zim's eyes had opened, and were looking straight at him. His face betrayed no expression. They looked searchingly at one another for a moment.

"...Dib."

Blinking curiously, Dib replied, "...Yes?"

"You're awake." Zim stood almost urgently and walked to Dib's side. "How... do you feel?"

Should he lie? Not knowing what kind of answer Zim wanted, he simply answered, "...Bad."

"Are you... in much pain?"

"...I..." He swallowed. "More... than I've ever been in. Yes. I'm in pain. A lot of pain."

His face darkening, Zim grabbed Dib's lower arm with both hands, gripping them tightly. "Do you still love me?"

Tears escaped Dib's eyes. His mouth contorted almost painfully as he tried to keep himself composed. The helplessness in Zim's expression was heartbreaking.

"Have you EVER loved ME?"

Zim fell forward, burying his face in Dib's neck. "Please, please don't leave me!" he begged. "I'll do anything, I swear I'll let you have whoever you want. Just don't leave me. Please. PLEASE!"

Dib's chest was burning again. He didn't feel like doing this right now. "Do you love me? Or not? It's a simple question." Zim reared up and looked quizzically at Dib's impatient tone. He had rarely been so demanding, especially not since they first met again. "Irkens know what love is, so don't lie to me. I heard Purple tell Red he loved him. You know what love is, don't you? I know you must have. You loved Purple, didn't you? You were in love with him." When Zim simply blinked in reply, Dib continued, "Tak told me you were 'Purple's Bitch.' Purple was jealous of me. And I know you loved him. I bet he loved you too. Once."

They were both silent for a few moments. Dib could tell that this was all rolling around in Zim's head; his eyes glazed over for a moment, before he looked back at Dib with purpose. "What is love? What good is it, really?" Shaking his head, he growled, "Love is just pain in the making. Love always ends in ruin."

"That's not true..." Dib whispered. It was getting hard to talk. He reached up and grabbed Zim's shirt. "I... hurt..."

Zim quickly reached up and hit a button on one of the machines. The tingly sensation returned. "I do still love you," he groaned as sleep overtook him again. "I do." The last thing he saw before he closed his eyes was Zim's hands, covering his face in anguish.

***************************************************************************

It took a little while for Dib to heal. He had procured a broken rib, which caused a minor hemothorax. The repercussions would not have been so bad if he had attended to it right away, but two days of lying still had exacerbated the situation. Zim was very attentive to him, only leaving Dib's side when coaxed (or ordered) by Gaz to go attend to his own needs (like eating, which Zim had increasingly been neglecting). That conversation on the first night was not mentioned, nor was the disastrous day that caused the whole situation. The two of them mostly made smalltalk or just sat, staring at one another or various things around the room.

In about a week's time Dib was able to rise and walk about on his own. He would pace about the room to stretch his legs, but didn't venture outside to the rest of the ship. Really he was somewhat trying to fool himself into believing he was somewhere else other than The Goddess. After all his dreaming of intergalactic travel, he was already quite sick of it. The hospital-like room they had put him to heal in was a place he hadn't ventured much, and therefore it seemed new to him.

Before the second week had passed, however, he grew restless. With his surroundings and with his near-constant companion, who he realized was walking on eggshells around him for whatever reason. He felt he was now well enough to broach the subjects that nagged at him most...

He sat back on his raised bed, legs brought up slightly, sitting quietly as Zim applied a cold compress to his chest. Bringing up his arms and resting them behind his head, he watched Zim walk back to the basin before his bed, sterilizing something or other with a little laser pen. It took a few moments as he struggled to find the words, but he finally spoke.

"I have no feelings for Tak, Zim..." Cringing slightly as he saw Zim slowly, deliberately put his supplies away, back still to him, Dib continued, "You know that... right?"

Still facing away, Zim replied, "Liar," in a forced calm.

"You.. don't believe me?" Dib brought his arms down, reaching out to Zim. "I... I swear I'm telling the truth, Zim. She... I don't know what... She did. She brainwashed me. She did something to my brain."

Slowly turning to Dib, a murderous expression on his face, Zim stated, "She can't just do that at a whim. There has to be an inclination first. Her--Her 'victim' has to willingly be drawn in."

"Well, she didn't ask me if it was okay to push me down and molest me!"

"She didn't have to. You let her do it." Zim crossed his arms over his chest. "The waitress saw you two leave together. You LED Tak here, of your own accord."

"I didn't realize what I was doing!" Oh no, not the chest pain again. Just a low throb for now... "Zim... I would never betray you. Never--"

"--YET YOU DID!" Zim bellowed, throwing his fists out angrily. Pointing at Dib, he cried, "You talked to her, you took her in, you LED her HERE, AND you let her--You--LET--her--Let..." His head was in his hands. "You and her. You and her. Together, both of you, you let her do that! FUCKED HER. YOU did that!"

Fucking weakling... Crying again. Why does Zim always make me cry like this? "I'm sorry, Zim! I swear, if I had known... If I had known... If... I never meant to hurt you! I swear."

"HURT?" Zim looked back up, eyes glowing. "I am not HURT. BETRAYED, I am... But not HURT. I don't need YOU. I don't need ANYONE."

"No?!" Dib sobbed. "You don't need me, eh? Still? You've never needed me. You've never LOVED me. Maybe I DID let Tak in... Maybe I wanted someone to LOVE me, to NEED me like she acted like she did." Curling his knees up to his chest and burying his face in his arms, his crying intensified.

Zim stood silently, his fists shaking. He finally broke and cursed under his breath. "If--If I say that I love you, that I need you, do you promise to stay with me, to be FAITHFUL to me?"

Looking up, offense was plain on Dib's features. "You have to MEAN it. I can't just be manipulated into doing what you want! I want you to MEAN it when you say it!"

"Words! Words!" He threw up his claws, waving them exaggeratedly in the air. "Always with these words, you want me to say! Why do you always want words? Why do they mean so much?"

"If they don't mean so much, then why is it so hard for you to say them?!"

Zim held out a clenched claw. "Because words mean nothing. They are simply empty promises, so easily made, so quickly broken..."

"Not when you MEAN them."

"I mean every word I speak to you! I mean everything I DO for you! It is YOU who do not mean what you say. How many times have you pledged your love, only to abandon me?" He shook his head and looked at the ground. "Always... Abandoned... Always..."

Dib was quiet for a moment. Zim was right... It was Dib who had betrayed him. He always doubted Zim, always made him the guilty one... But Dib... DIB was the one who always brushed him off and did whatever he felt like. He was always more worried about his own feelings... Crying out in frustration, he turned to the monitor next to his bed. He hooked it up to the small IV on his arm, meant for relieving his occasional chest pangs, and started jamming buttons at random.

"What are you doing?!" Zim cried, running to him.

Dib pushed him away. "You're right, Zim! I'm a horrible person, I don't deserve to live, I'm DONE with this life! I want out!" Suddenly some sort of thick black liquid began pulsing through the tube toward his arm. He grinned horribly, holding his arm up to make it move more quickly.

"NO!" Zim screamed, ripping the tube out of his arm as a leg emerged from his pak and blew the machine to oblivion.

As the dust settled, Zim grabbed Dib fiercely by his upper arms and held him upright. He panted, watching in confusion as Dib looked down at the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. "Don't--Don't EVER do that again!" he yelled, shaking Dib. "If you were to die, I..."

Dib was unconsolable. Helplessly, Zim continued clinging to his muscled arms. Crying... Tears... All that water running down his face. A horrible expression of a horrible emotion. Irkens rarely cried, obviously they didn't release tears. The last time he truly cried was... That first night at Dib's... He recalled how Dib had tried to console him. Quickly, urgently, he pulled the boy into his arms, wrapping him up tightly and squeezing him as hard as he dared with his injuries.

It didn't work at first, but in a few moments Dib finally quieted. Shortly, he pulled away from his lover and sat him on the bed, looking him deeply in the eyes. "Dib..." Dib merely blinked, a forlorn look on his face. "Dib... I... I've been horrible to you as well. I..." Not knowing what to say, he brought his hands up to Dib's smooth face, caressing his cheeks. "Don't hate yourself. You shouldn't. You're... my equal. You... I... admire... you."

A smile finally broke out on Dib's face. He laughed lightly, wiping the tears from his face. "Wow. You admire me? That must have been tough for you to admit..."

Before Dib knew what was happening, Zim had launched forward, covering Dib's lips with his own. He had never initiated a kiss like this before... Dib was baffled. But it felt so good... He closed his eyes as Zim pushed his tongue into the boy's mouth, leaning into Dib's body. He scooted Dib back on the bed, giving himself enough room to climb into Dib's lap. Straddling him, Zim continued the kiss, finally pulled back and covering Dib's face with little pecks here and there. Dib opened his eyes and Zim pushed him back onto the bed, hovering over him, his body almost unnaturally warm.

"Dib." He put his hands on Dib's shoulders, digging his claws in slightly. "I.... LOVE... you."

Smiling, Dib wrapped his arms around Zim's waist. "Do you? Do you MEAN it?"

Zim nodded sincerely. "I did love Purple. You were right. But... he met Red, and they became the Tallest, and he left me behind. I... did some stupid things to try to get his attention..." Closing his eyes, Zim shook his head. "But... You are different. You've always paid attention to me." He looked back up and Dib, a cute little smile curling his lips. "I don't have to do anything to impress you. You... love me just as I am, and that makes me happy." Determination changed his features. "And you... are... my equal. My greatest rival, my greatest ally. You and I... Are one and the same."

"We ARE one," Dib agreed. "We are one... Forever."

"Master!" GIR interrupted over the intercom. "A Spittle Runner is requesting to dock!"

The boys looked at one another.

"Maybe it thinks Red's still in charge of this ship?" Dib speculated as Zim slipped off of him onto the floor.

Shaking his head, Zim replied, "Red loved this ship... I'm sure every Irken already knows about our stealing it..."

"Then... why isn't it attacking us?" When Zim simply shrugged in reply, Dib went on, "It'd be worth checking out, then..."

"GIR, I'll be at the bridge in just a moment..."

End Chapter 7