The Story of Dib and Zim

Gaz was hungry. Her brilliant father had not possessed the foresight to stock the house with enough food to last the month. So when the cupboard started looking bare, she ventured down to his labs to complain. She’d been wandering around looking for him for about twenty minutes when suddenly she heard a familiar voice.

“Hi, Gaz!”

She stopped in mid-step. Gir was sitting inside some kind of glass containment chamber, waving joyfully at her. She was so shocked to see the little silver robot inside her home that she opened her left eye slightly.

“What are you doing in there?” she asked.

Gir giggled adorably. “I-unno!”

Gaz took a moment to consider this. Then she said, “Get out before my brother sees you. If he does, I’ll hear nothing but his weird happy squealings for the rest of the year.”

Gir nodded agreeably. He hopped to his feet. Then he backed up to gain momentum and jumped forward with all his might. He slammed painfully against the glass and collapsed into a lifeless heap.

Gaz blinked.

Immediately Gir jumped to his feet, screaming bloody murder. “AAAAUGHHH!!! I CAN TASTE THE BACK OF MY BRAIN CIRCUIT!!! IT’S…OH GOD, IT’S-hey, this tastes good! I’ll never be without deliciousness ever again!

Gaz sighed. “Hold on,” she said. “I think I know what to do.”

Five minutes later she came back with a blanket andthrew it over the chamber.

“Aww, Mister light bulb don’t wanna be my friend no more.”

Gaz cringed and began to leave.

“Oh well, at least I still have my doughnuts to be my friends.”

She froze. Almost in response, her belly let out a terrible growl. She yanked away the blanket.

“Mister light bulb! I knew what we had could never be forgotten!”

Gaz put both her hands on the glass, her voice deadly serious. “Listen to me, stupid creature of tin and glue. If you have doughnuts, then I require them of you. Do you understand?”

“Yes! Wait. No.”

“I will release you from this prison, to run free with all the other morons out here. But in return, you must give me all the doughnuts you currently possess.”

Gir stared at her a long moment, then said, “I have doughnuts in my head!”

Gaz sighed, knowing with a sense beyond mortal comprehension than this was one battle she would not win. She walked over to a panel that was covered in all sorts of futuristic and ridiculously complicated controls. After studying them for a moment, she picked out one button and pressed it. The door to Gir’s chamber swung open.

“Come on, hurry, before the guard-bots arrive. I am not about to go through some kind of non-stop-thrill-ride action sequence over this.”

Gir nodded in a rare moment of lucidity, “Yeah, those give me pounding headaches something awful, especially the day after.”

Gaz didn’t even act surprised. She just said, “Exactly.”

They ended up sharing the doughnuts in Zim’s kitchen. Gir managed to find some chocolate milk and even invited his pig friend over to “meet the family,” as he put it. All in all, it was a rather pleasant evening.