The Mordhaus Metal Maid

[A/N: To cover confusion at the end again, I am #6982, Maddy is #1212, Grim is #444, Tick is #505]


It was another ominously quiet night here at Mordhaus. I was in my bathroom, brushing my teeth, about to get undressed for bed. That's when I heard my Dethphone going off in my adjacent room, "You're here because you're one of us. We are the strength, we are soldiers..." I quickly walked out of my bathroom and snatched up my Dethphone from my dresser, not knowing if Nathan was in his room or not. Glancing over at the clock really quick, I noticed that it was 12am. I quickly pressed the call button on my Dethphone, "Hello?"

I heard a sinister chuckle on the other line and knew who it was instantly, "Hey, Grim....what'd ya do this time??" Grim just cackled evilly again, "Heh, come down to CFO's office with me...heh, but we'll just stick to the corridor for now, you'll see...heh, I'll come pick ya up..and yeah, I already asked your lord if I could um...take you to hang out with the rest of us. Heh, I am one of your guards anyways." I giggled out, "Good thinking, dude...this I gotta fuckin see...curious now...um...see ya in a bit then, Grim!" He cackled manically again, "Cool,MM, be there in a bit then, Later!" With that, he hung up and I made my way to the door that opened into Nathan's room, stuffing my Dethphone back into my jean's pocket, wondering if my lord would inquire about where I was going. I knew that Grim was planning an unknown prank of massive proportions, no doubt that would result in mass chaos and dethdestruction, but I couldn't tell my lord THAT. I then made my way into Nathan's room, being quiet in case of the rare occurrence that he might be asleep already.

I saw that Nathan was perched on his bed, looking like he was playing a very violent, bloody video game. I giggled softly and went to report to him. He growled softly at my approach, setting down his game controller, "Hey,MM...uhh....one of your....friends or whatever...called me...wanted to know if ya could...hang out...I said okay..soooo ya...like...have fun and shit....uhh...just take your goddamn...keys and shit...I dunno if I'm gonna....go hang with the guys or what...Got it??" I nodded, saluting respectfully, "Yes, my lord!" I then heard a knock at the door and Nathan got up, grumbling under his breath. He flung the door open and I saw Grim standing there, who respectfully saluted Nathan, "My lord, I am here to escort MM to the Klokateer's Quarters to join the rest of us." Nathan nodded his permission, growling lowly, "Yeah...okay...MM, take your keys, Dethphone....and shit....be good.." With that, he gave me a light kiss on the forehead and stuffed my keys into my hand, He then gave Grim a stern glare, "You better....watch her...or...ya...things won't be cool....got it??" Grim nodded, "Yes, my lord!" I smiled happily at Nathan, "I'll be good, my lord, byebye!" With that, I turned to follow Grim and wondered what the hell he had planned for whom this time.

We soon reached the corridors where CFO's office was, Grim said lowly while glancing around swiftly, "Heh...he isn't in there...sooo check this out, come on." Going into the office, I saw a sign on the closet door stating, "Off Limits" in bold writing, it continued in slightly smaller writing, "Do NOT Open." Grim then cackled manically from the doorway, "Hey, here comes Paige...go behind the door and watch the master at work." His eyes gleamed red as he continued chuckling roughly under his breath. I shook my head, questioning Grim's sanity and hid behind the door.

I heard Paige enter the room and slowly I peeped out from behind the door to watch the dethchaos unfold. Paige was looking exasperated, muttering to Grim, "What the fuck, Grim?! I need to get in there to hang some of the Boss's laundry, get outta my fuckin way!!! The fuck is up with the sign anyway?!" I heard Grim state in a calm tone, "It's just as it says, it's off limits. He even put up the sign, duh. No one, even a certain Gear that also frequents it, should not try to open it. Nope, we wouldn't want to do that at all, Paige, wouldn't be good to disobey the Boss...after all...it is off limits." Paige huffed irritably, "Oh, fuck that, I'm going in and if it has anything dangerous...well...I can rebuild it...now get the fuck outta my way, Grim!!" Grim shrugged and backed off, muttering, "Okay then....Paige...heh.."

I saw Paige walk to the closet door and yank it open. Next thing I see is Paige shrieking bloody murder before I heard the sounds of many lamps avalanching over, burying Paige beneath their depths. I could hear Grim cackle out loudly, "Heh, told you not to go in there, Paige. HAHAHA!!" I came out behind the door, laughing out loudly, "AHAHAHA!! Nice one, Grim!! Sooo...THAT'S where all the IKEA lamps went to....I was wondering what the hell happened to all the goddamn lamps earlier...." I looked over at Grim and frowned, "Eh...just putting this out there right now...I aint cleaning this shit up...aint my job. HAHAHA, sucks for whoever has cleaning detail on CFO's office...sucker!"

I then heard Paige's muffled sarcastic laugh from beneath the lamps as she struggled to get up, "Lamp meeting...part one million...fuckin...thanks to Grim, Ha Ha Ha..." She slowly got up, flipped off Grim and left the room irritably. I then saw CD come in with Six and Tick, all laughing uproariously. CD laughed out, "Heh, by the way, we still need to blow up the Island Of Lamps. I got them on sale, buy one factory, get the second one free!" Six laughed, "Yeah, we heard that crash all the way down the corridor..." She then looked at the sign still on the closet door, "Ya know...'Off Limits' would be a great name for a CFO-based menswear line!! Just sayin.." Tick laughed out,"Oh, my god, Sixy, I love you for that!" I giggled out too, "Hehe, good one, Sixer! Just think...that'd like...beat out The Men's Warehouse for sure! I loves it!!" She gigged out softly, "Heh..yeah..I better go, guys...got work to do." With that, she left the office.

Tick then looked at the massive pile of broken lamps in front of the closet mournfully, "Well...since his closet really is off limits now and I have no place to stay...I've decided to go back to my room with the giant hole in the wall...I'm gonna need to stop off at the Home Depot tomorrow and buy some duct tape to patch that up for now....until the Mordhaus construction team gets on it..." He trailed off, throwing Grim an angry glare and flipping him off. Grim just cackled out evilly again. Tick then muttered out, "Oh...yeah...and it aint me that has clean-up duty on CFO's office either. I was just staying there and supplying his ties. Hmm...if I remember correctly, Houndy is the lamp supplier soo I believe it's HER job." He then smirked darkly.

CD walked up to Tick, whacking him softly on the back of the head, sighing out in exasperation, "Look! I've been following you for a week since your room got destroyed, trying to get you to sign this form for repairs. JUST. SIGN. THE. FORM!! Then we can start doing the remodel that will make your room from the remains of both rooms." Tick turned to CD with a devilish grin on his face, "CD, I'll do it if I can get a sandscape...SCOTTSDALE!!!" I face-palmed and looked at CD, who laughed. He then looked around carefully, muttering to me,"Your lord is in his room, right?" I nodded, "As far as I know, ya...he is.." CD muttered, "And mine was out on the race track with the Murderlimo, destroying things...again." He then turned to Tick again, "Some...special arrangements can be made...Did you want the full treatment, including neon signage?"

Tick then giggled, "Hehehe....yes, of course and if there's anything left in the budget, I also want the endangered species bottle opener thingy. I believe I have earned it with all the trauma I have endured." I shook my head and muttered to Tick,, "That's it...I aint goin in your room, Tick, that's for sure......besides, I may accidentally track sand into my lord's chambers and then all hell will break loose. Look how he reacted last time with Lord Murderface's sandscape...." I trailed off, whining out softly,"He'll make me vacumn out my boots!! Do you guys know how hard that is to do??? Not to mention I'd have to vacumn his floor too?? Then have to explain to him how I tracked the sand in in the first place???? No,thank you...I'll just uhh...hang out with you in the Rec Room, Tick...just ehh...don't track sand into the hot tub...that'd be yucky..."

Tick laughed out again, "To quote your lord, MM, 'Yeah like that won't be a disaster...Oh, I guess I'll leave the room, I guess I'll vacumn my fuckin shoes again!! Do you have any idea what goes into making a house a home?'" He laughed out and I giggled, "Besides," He giggled out again, "Sand in the hot tub would kinda be like quicksand..." I frowned, holding back a laugh anyway, "Ew, Tick...don't even try that...specially with the boys about.." Tick laughed out again, "Heh...oh,yeah...and don't track sand in your lord's chambers, MM, you KNOW how he feels about SAND!!"


I suddenly saw my adopted dethdaughter, Maddy hovering in the doorway, giggling with the rest of us. Unaware of a slightly angered CFO suddenly standing right behind her. We all froze in place and paled. Charles just sighed in exasperation, making Maddy squeal out in fear and surprise as she ran up to me, clinging tightly to me. Pinching the bridge of his nose, Charles calmly stated, "#505, #724 and #444, report back to your own chambers on the double. As for you, #6982, take #1212 back to Lord Nathan's chambers with you for the night, report to him that the both of you are to watch #1212 tonight, seeing as you both decided to adopt her anyways. Do I make myself clear?" I watched as Tick, CD and Grim scrambled out of the room, looking sheepish. I nodded sharply and saluted, "Yes, sir! Come on, kiddo." I walked out into the hallway, waiting for my kiddo. Maddy suddenly turned to Charles with a bright smile on her face, "All I know, sir, is I aint gotta clean up shit!! Bahaha!! I just have my trusty taser!" With that, she pulled her taser out of her pocket and made a show of flipping it in the air in front of Charles, but was unable to catch it as it hit the floor with a dull thud. Charles just shook his head and sighed out, rubbing his temple, "Goodnight then, ladies." Maddy slowly picked up her taser, blushing slightly and backed out of the room. We watched as the door slammed shutloudly and we then made out way back down the hallway to Nathan's room, suddenly feeling like 5 year olds that just got caught by Daddy.

-END-