Kiss Me, It's Beginning to Snow

December 27, 1996 7:45 P.M. GMT

Staghart found Una in the library, seated in an over-sized armchair and reading a heavy tome with the title /Wards and Hexes: How to Make them, How to Break Them/. She seemed in a good mood. That was promising. Staghart took a deep breath while going over in his mind what he wanted to say to her.

"Una?"

She looked up from her book. "Yes, Staghart?"

"Una, I want to ask you something."

She marked her place in her book and laid it aside. "What is it?"

"Una...I want to leave Knight's Spur." She raised a brow but said nothing. "Knight's Spur is getting crowded and the Manhattan Clan is under populated, so I thought it would make sense for me to go and help them out a little."

Una didn't look nearly surprised as Staghart thought she'd be, only sad. "This is about Lexington, isn't it?" she asked with a sigh.

"You know?"

"Yes. And I didn't need magic to figure it out." She stood and approached Staghart. "Staghart, let's not have a repeat of last time. Especially not with you in another country."

"Una, this won't be like last time. Lex isn't anything like Ulrich."

Una sighed and stroked Staghart's cheek. "Believe me, dear, I know what you're going through. I was young once, believe it or not. But, Staghart, this is all happening far too fast. It could be all over just as fast."

"Not this time." Staghart shook his head. "This time, it's real. I know it is."

"Staghart, sometimes, love can cloud our judgment. It can make it very difficult for us to really know anything."

"Couldn't you do a reading for us? Like you do for customers at Into The Mystic?"

"Staghart, half of that is cold readings and parlor tricks. Actual divination is very difficult. Few mortal mages can obtain any real skill with it. I only get the briefest of glimpses every now and again."

"Well, can't you take a glimpse now?"

"I know Lexington cares for you very much. I don't need magic to know that. But, I can't shake the feeling that something is going to happen if you go."

"What?"

"I don't know. Just...something. At this point, I can't tell if it would be something good or bad. Divination is a shaky science. Even Corneilus, rest his soul, was never an expert at it." Una shelved her book. "At any rate, Macbeth is already shipping Coldstone and Coldfire back to Manhattan at his expense. It wouldn't be proper to ask more of him."

"If it's the money, I can work double shifts at Into The Mystic."

"It isn't just the money, Staghart. Staghart, this is about clan and castle. No one takes leave of it easily." She sighed and put a hand on Staghart's shoulder. "Listen, if you are still in love with Lexington after he's been gone for two months and he still loves you...." Una let out a heavy sigh. "Then, you may go to him."

"Two months?" It sounded like forever.

"They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. You can still write or do that thing with the Internet. I may even be persuaded to let you make a long distance call or two." She stroked his cheek. "Staghart, of all my hatchlings, you've been the one with the most gentlest of hearts. We'd all miss you if you left."

Staghart took his rookery mother's hand. "I'd miss all of you too, Mum." he said. "But, I'm in love with Lexington and his clan needs him more than this clan needs me."

"No matter what happens, Staghart, you will always be welcome in this clan." The two shared a hug.

January 5, 1997, 5:00 AM, GMT

/Alright./ Lex told himself. /This is how it's gonna be. You're going to be strong. After all that Amp's done for you, he deserves to see you smile one more time./ He looked up at the sky. It must be hours past midnight. Lex knew he had to tell Amp goodbye before sunrise. Tomorrow night, he'd be back in Manhattan.

His memories drifted back to the time he had spent with Amp. To think, it all began when Lex agreed to call Amp by his self-chosen nickname. The first time he saw that majestic beauty descend from the sky, Lex had been in awe. His friendly, approachable manner just made him like him even more. He had been a bit relieved to find out Amp and Coco weren't mates after all. He remembered the secure feeling of waking up in his arms, cut far too short by a laser blast. Lex had been eager to accept Amp's invitation that he and Hudson stay on a little longer.

The memories of the days that followed were ones Lex knew he would treasure forever. Amp showed him around London. They patrolled together. Lex accompanied Amp when it was his night to work at Into The Mystic. The two of them could talk for hours about everything and nothing. Lex could get lost in those sparkling blue eyes, that gently accented voice and easy smile. Then the touching started. It was casual, at first. A friendly pat on the back. Taking his hand as they glided over the Thames. Offering a neck rub as he typed out a long e-mail letter to his clan in Manhattan. They had been watching /Star Wars/ together when Amp slipped his arm around Lex's shoulders. Lex had been both excited and scared by Amp's subtle advances. Was this really happening? Did Amp really have feelings for him? Did he really have feelings for Amp? The jumble of emotions left Lex dizzy sometimes.

He remembered the excitement of that first "snog" on Christmas Eve. Those arms. Those wings. The fur tickling him. Hands caressing him, making him feel cherished. Then, the confession of love. Funny, he had gone to make a confession of love, only to hear one. He could scarcely believe it, but it was true. Someone loved him, was in love with him. Even if it couldn't be forever, it was there. Lex remembered the Christmas party the next night. Amp made him feel relaxed when he was nervous. He had been coaxed into a slow dance to Boyzone. Lex had felt like floating as they held each other and swayed.

Lex remembered losing his virginity later that night. Amp had been tender and loving with him. Even when the tenderness had fallen to heated passion, Amp had still been as gentle as he could. The bite on the neck had been an attempt to draw Lex's attention from the pain of being filled for the first time. He had apologized for it after their make out session in the coat closet. Lex winced when Amp ran a finger over his neck. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Um, you kinda bit me earlier." Lex said uneasily. "You didn't break the skin, but you left quite a mark."

Amp nuzzled his ear. "Sorry, love." he whispered. "If you want, you can bite me!" Lex settled for kissing his nose.

Amp sat down in the corner of the closet and pulled Lex into his lap. Lex snuggled close to him as arms and wings enfolded him. Lex found himself cocooned in warmth, softness and darkness. When he laid his head just right, he could hear the steady heartbeat of his lover. Lex went limp, just reveling in this comfort. Then he heard Amp singing a bit of the song they had just danced to. "Smile, an everlasting smile. A smile can bring you near to me."

"I didn't know you could sing." said Lex.

"It's just something I do."

"You have a really nice voice." He cuddled closer and let Amp sing to him.

In the weeks that followed, they were the happiest of lovers, giving no thought to the fact that they would soon have to separate. On New Year's Eve, they shared a bottle of champagne and Amp offered to let Lex take him for a change. Lex had been a bit unnerved by the offer at first, but once he saw Amp presenting himself, he took what was being offered. Now, they needed to go back. Coldstone was eager to be reunited with his brother. The clan had to be back together. Lex had to go with them. He had followed Hudson's advice to follow his heart, and now it was breaking.

Lex looked up when he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder. He saw Staghart, It looked like he had been spared the effort of looking for him. Now, could he say all he wanted to say? "Hey." was all he could say at the moment.

"Hey." Staghart answered. "So, going back?"

"Yeah." Lex nodded. "After sunrise, Macbeth's packing me up with Styrofoam peanuts and bubble wrap and it's back to Manhattan."

"So, we'd probably better make sure not to be touching at sunrise." Staghart surmised.

"You know why I can't stay."

"We've been through it. I understand." Staghart sighed. "The problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans and all that rot."

"Four, actually." Lex decided, thinking of Coldstone and Coldfire.

Staghart thought of telling Lex what Una decreed, but decided he didn't want to put that kind of pressure on Lex. He stroked Lex's head and gazed into his wide, bright eyes. "I've heard that people come into our lives for a reason. No matter what happens, I'm glad you were able to show me that I can love someone. I'll always be grateful for that."

Lex caressed the large hand and felt tears sting his eyes as he looked into gentle blue eyes. "I was going to thank you for showing me that I could trust someone enough to love them. And, for showing me who I really am."

Staghart gave a sad smile. "Remember when you told me you loved me and I said that was the part where Whitney Houston would sing?" he shook his head. "I was wrong. That was the part where Celine Dione would sing. This is the part where Whitney would sing."

"/The Bodyguard/ sucked."

"But the music was good. Lex, this isn't really good-bye, you know. I got your e-mail addy, you got mine. I'm on The Realm. I play a an elf wizard called Evithar Whitehand. Maybe we can go on a quest sometime."

Lex smiled. "Well, if you meet a human fighter called Lexon Steelblade, it's me." He looked up at Amp and knew he had to make a request. "Amp? Hold me? Like you did Christmas Eve in the woods." Amp gladly gathered up the smaller gargoyle in his arms and held him close, wrapping his wings around him. Small but strong hands gripped the firm muscles in Amp's back. Silky sorf fur caressed Lex's cheek. When it tickled his ear, instead of making Lex giggle, it made the tears spill from his eyes. /No. No, I promised I wouldn't cry!/ "I-I'm sorry." Lex wiped at his eyes. "I wanted to see you off with a smile."

Amp brushed away the tears with his thumb. He saw a shaft of light on the horizon. "It will be sunrise soon." He took his hands away. "Good-bye, love."

"Good...." Lex was cut off when they both turned to stone.

Macbeth found Lexington where he was sure he'd find him. He knew he'd be wherever Staghart was. They weren't touching. Good. Both looked so sad, though. Lexington had still damp tear tracks under his eyes. His mouth was open, having been cut off in the middle of saying something. Macbeth shook his head in sorrow. He knew the pain of having to leave someone dearly loved all too well. "I'm half tempted to leave you here." he told the statue. "But, I promised Goliath. Banquo! The dolly!" One of Macbeth's servants came with the dolly and carted Lexington off. /Arthur and I thought they'd be at each others' throats./ Macbeth mentally noted with irony. /Looks like they went a little lower than that./

January 5, 1997, 1:15 PM, EST

"...Bye." Lex said, finding his mouth suddenly full of Styrofoam peanuts. The stone shell he broke out of tore up the bubble wrap he had been wrapped in. Lex spat out the Styrofoam and found himself in the dark. "Hey, Macbeth!" he called out. "If you're there, I'd kinda like out!"

"Hold your horses, lad." he heard Macbeth say. There was a creak and splinter of wood as Macbeth pried the wooden crate open. "You're at my penthouse on Fifth Avenue." Macbeth informed him. "It's still daylight out. Hudson's out on the veranda. Coldstone and Coldfire have discovered the television." Macbeth smiled. "They are in turns repulsed and fascinated by it."

"Thanks, Macbeth." Lex's heart dropped as soon as he made a realization. Amp was now several thousand miles away from him.

"Lexington," Macbeth said gently. "I'm sorry. I had to leave my Gruoch long ago. I know how much it hurts."

"When does it stop hurting?" Macbeth said nothing. "I'll be with Hudson." Lexington sighed, wondering if he could get some words of wisdom from the old mentor. Or at least an inspirational movie quote.

He found Hudson on the veranda in a patio chair. "Never can get enough of this sun." said Hudson. "It's so warm!" Lex let himself feel the warmth of the sun. He had been as fascinated by it as Hudson on that first day in England. Now, it seemed so pale. "And the color of that sky!" Hudson sighed and leaned back.

"Hudson? Are you OK with leaving Ayala behind?"

"Lad, whatever you saw was just two old people trying to feel young again for a few moments. She could never be my Bluebell, and I could never be her Columban." Hudson smiled and looked up at the sky. "Such a beautiful sky." he said with awe.

"Hudson?" said Lex. "What...what would happen, hypothetically, if a gargoyle fell in love with a gargoyle from another clan?"

"Hypothetically?" Hudson raised a brow.

"Uh...yeah, I'm just wondering if that ever happens."

Hudson smiled "Aye, lad, 'tis nae unusual for gargoyles to love someone of another clan. Do ye remember Goliath's sister from the old days? The lime green one with the shaggy reddish-brown hair. Remember her mate? Tall, strapping lad with blue skin and fins on his tail. He was actually an aquatic gargoyle from Loch Ness.

"Ye were only ten when the Loch Ness Clan came callin', so ye probably don't remember much. 'Twas a diplomatic mission, one clan keeping in contact with another. Well, the wee lass was head over talons at first sight. The lad was charmed by her just as easily. It happened so quickly. Love can sometimes. Well, the lass could nae live in the Loch with his clan and Wyvern was close enough to the sea for the lad to take a dip whenever he fancied. So, it only made sense for him to stay behind when his clan returned to Loch Ness.

"We didn't think they'd be able to have an egg together. They just looked so different. When she started having evening sickness after the Breeder's Moon, we thought the smell and sound of her sisters getting sick was affecting her. I know it affected some of the lads. When she joined in with her sisters' odd food cravings, nothing was thought of it. After all, her choice of mate made it clear she wasn't adverse to anything strange or different. When her belly began to swell, it was clear she was with egg as were the rest. She was pleasantly surprised and looking forward to being a rookery mother. Pity she never really got to be one. Well, their egg no doubt hatched on Avalon, so there's a part of them still living. I wonder sometimes why Angela and Goliath didn't meet up with the Loch Ness clan. Perhaps it's best they didn't. They might blame us for what happened to their brother."

"Oh." So it did happen. And it turned out well...sort of. "What about, well, same sex pairs? I hear a lot about that on the news and I was just wondering what would be the Gargoyle Way to approach it. Just out of curiosity."

Hudson bit back a smile, wondering if he should let Lex off the hook and tell him he knew. He decided it would be best to let Lex admit it when he was ready. "Same sex pairs? Lad, didn't ye think something was odd about yer two sisters?"

"Which ones?"

"Ye know which ones. The two that were never away from each other for long. One was sort of a light orange color with spiky horns, the other sort of small, brown with blond hair."

"I think so." Lex started to remember a pair of his rookery sisters from so long ago. "Those two hung around each other a lot, but then I hung around Broadway and Brooklyn a lot. I guess I saw them hug a few times, but I thought it was just a girl thing. Like with Angela. She gives out hugs like they're Skittles."

"Aye, they were as discreet as they could be. They knew the humans didn't much like gargoyles as it was, would like them even less if they were known to be even more 'unusual'. Humans are just funny that way sometimes.

"Ah, but those lasses loved each other. You could tell even by the way they looked at each other without touching. Nearly blew their cover one night when a guard who drank more than his share started bothering the smaller of the two. She tried to fight back of course, but she was nae very strong and he had a spear at her throat. The one with the spikes nearly throttled the man who tried to have his way with her lover. We managed to make it look like she was merely concerned about her dear sister's well-being. The guard was reprimanded for drinking on duty.

"They told me they wanted a commitment ceremony. They were in love and wanted to pledge themselves to each other forever. I thought it would be wise to put it off until we had this Viking situation taken care of and the refugees went back to their own homes. Well, you know how that turned out."

"Yeah." Thinking of all the doomed friends and lovers killed in the massacre always made Lex sad. "Hudson?' Lex's palms sweated as he tried to word his next question. "What...what about...twomaleswholoveeachother?" Letting the word out so fast they string together was the only way he could make himself say it. He knew he was blushing.

"Males? Aye, lad, that happens too. Happened in me own rookery generation. Ye don't remember it, of course. Ye were nae a year old when...I'm gettin' ahead o' myself.

"I ne'er did understand why humans are so loathe to let men who love men fight. My two brothers were two of the fiercest warriors I've ever seen. They'd fight with their backs to each other, fighting like some great two headed beast. Tough as they were in battle, they were so tender with each other when they had a rare and precious moment of peace.

"It was not long after I took a mate that my brothers told our leader they wanted to have a commitment ceremony and hang what the humans thought. I was but second-in-command at the time. I thought it was a wonderful idea. My brothers deserved all the happiness I had with My Bluebell. I reminded our leader that human ways were not gargoyle ways. We were to protect humans, not to please them. Our leader wisely saw reason in this.

"We held the ceremony late, well after midnight, when only a few guards would be about. A good guard concerned himself more with what was outside the castle than in it. My brothers stood before the clan, joined hands and pledged their love and loyalty to each other all the days of their lives. Our leader pronounced them mated and bade them touch brows. We took the merry making into the forest where we would nae disturb the humans. They spent many happy years together.

"Well, the Vikings started their invasions and we worked along side the humans to fend them off. Any human who said anything about my brothers' relationship was in for some hurt. Of course, even among the humans there were soldiers who'd 'take comfort' with other men. Sometimes, it was simply because there were no women about. Sometimes, men was just what they liked. Humans who fancied their own gender tried to be most discreet of all, but this old soldier could tell what was going on.

"The battle of 959 was one of the saddest I've been through. All battles are sad in thier own way, but.... Mind you, I'm not too sure what happened. Battles are chaotic things and I was a bit too busy fighting to really see what happened. I told you they usually fought back to back. Well, somehow or another they broke their usual fighting stance and one took an arrow meant for the other. Plunged right into his heart, killed him instantly, no doubt. The surviving one, well, the Vikings told tales of berserkers- warriors who would be fueled so with the rage of battle that they could kill ten men in as many seconds, unfeeling of any wounds they incur. It was like he did nae care to live anymore, and he was taking as many Vikings as he could with him.

"A temporary truce was called in order to gather the dead and wounded. I helped my brother carry his lover away from the field. I pulled the arrow out, thinking I might clean him up a bit before setting up his pyre. The surviving one threw himself over his lover, putting his arms around him. I patted his back, trying in vain to think of words to comfort him. Turned out there was no need for them. He was dead too. The healer said it was because the wounds he received were made worse by continuing to fight. But I knew it was from a broken heart.

"We never broke their embrace. We burned them on the same pyre. Their ashes mingled. They're one with the wind and each other forever. Lexington? Are you alright, lad?"

"I-I'm fine." Lex managed to gasp. "Sunlight just bothers my eyes."