Therapy: Three Witches and a Shrink

Icy stared at Stormy in disbelief.

"A warlock? You've got to be joking."

The three witches were sitting around in a rough circle in the middle of a field of flowers while holographic families picnicked and chased balls and flew kites all around them. Stormy was busy ripping out another generation of flower buds which were trying to bloom in front of her where she had ripped out the last four or five generations. She knew full well they would just grow right back in a minute, but as long as she foccussed on the patch right in front of her she was able to keep ahead of them and rip them out before their blossoms had a chance to open. It gave her something to do that made her feel like there was still something in her world she could control. She glanced up at Icy with a sour look on her face.

"Hey, don't look at me. I'm just telling you what he told me."

Icy held out her hand toward Stormy palm-up, as if she was showing her some invisible thing she held in her palm.

"And of course you just believed him without question."

Stormy shot the white-haired leader of the trio a warning glare.

"He had me pinned to a wall with his magic! I wasn't exactly in a position to argue."

Icy gave Stormy a skeptical look.

"So the guy's got winx. That doesn't make him a warlock. He tried that same bad boy crap with me but I saw right through his act in a second."

Darcy was sitting with her chin propped on her fist, looking lost in thought.

"He did say he used to be a patient here too. Why else would they have brought him here if he wasn't a warlock?"

Icy glanced at Darcy, secretly admiring how cute she looked when she was thinking so hard.

"Maybe he refused to do his homework and ran in the halls at school? Come on. He probably just made all that up to make us feel like he shares something in common with us. I'm telling you, it's all just a big con job. He's trying to play with our heads. He's no warlock. Besides, why would they let him come to work here of all places if he was?"

Stormy snorted derisively.

"Hah! Dorks like the ones who run this place are always big on forgiveness and second chances. They probably think they can turn us into model citizens with all their love and kindness crap."

Icy gave Stormy a confident grin.

"Yeah, right. Like that's ever gonna happen. We're too strong for that."

Stormy gave Icy a grumpy pout in return.

"Well we better find a way to bust outta here soon. I don't plan on waiting around in this dump until I get old and wrinkled."

Icy smirked at Stormy.

"Trust me hon, nobody wants to see that."

Stormy glowered at Icy sourly. Meanwhile Darcy still looked like she was trying to figure something out.

"If he was really a warlock fifteen years ago, bad enough that they locked him up in this place, don't you think we'd have heard about him in our History of Witchcraft classes?"

Icy gave Darcy a quizzical frown.

"Exactly my point. We haven't heard of him because he's nobody. It's all just a big put-on."

Darcy shook her head slowly as she continued to puzzle over it.

"But I could swear it feels like I have heard of him somewhere before. The warlock Thaddeus Shreever. Thaddeus Shreever, warlock. The warlock ..."

Just then a look of surprised recognition lit up her face.

"Thaddeus Shreever, the Pumpkin King!"

Icy gave Darcy a skeptical look.

"The Pumpkin King? That loser? You really think it's him?"

Darcy shrugged.

"I don't know, but the name sounds about right, and it does fit the time frame."

Stormy glanced back and forth between her sister witches with a look of puzzlement and annoyance.

"I don't get it. Who's this Pumpkin King dweeb you guys are talking about? I've never heard of him before."

Icy looked at Stormy scornfully.

"You would have if you'd ever stayed awake in history class."

Darcy leaned forward and propped her arms on the ground in front of her.

"The warlock Thaddeus Shreever, also known as the Pumpkin King, was the instigator of the Great Pumpkin Uprising of 1990. He created a spell that turned pumpkins into his evil minions. With his pumpkin army he marched across the land terrorizing towns and cities, leaving a path of devestation in his wake. And every time he came across a pumpkin patch his army grew. It got so bad folks took to smashing pumpkins wherever they found them just to keep him from converting them into more troops."

Stormy gave Darcy a skeptical look.

"It kinda sounds like that stupid Earth movie, 'Attack of the Killer Tomatoes'."

Darcy shrugged.

"I guess. Anyway, it took the pumpkin farming industry years to recover from their losses, not to ention the damage to their reputation. Nobody even wanted to see a pumpkin for a few years after that. The guy almost conquered the realm of Magix before they finally stopped him."

Icy raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"Really? He almost conquered an entire realm using pumpkins?"

Darcy gave Icy a puzzled frown.

"Well yeah. That's what it said in 'A Brief History of Witchcraft'. Don't tell me you were dozing off in class that day too. I thought you said you remembered him."

Icy turned her head away, closing her eyes in indignation.

"Of course I remember hearing about him. I just tuned out once I heard he tried to use something as lame as pumpkins. Who knew you could conquer anything larger than a weed patch using a lamoid plant hex?"

Darcy grinned at Icy's arrogant dismissal of her own ignorance.

"Here's something else I bet you didn't know. One time the Pumpkin King brought down half a mountain on top of his enemies."

Icy turned back to Darcy looking unimpressed.

"Big deal. We could do that."

Stormy grumbled bitterly.

"If we had our powers back."

Darcy smirked at her sister witches.

"Sure, but he did it single-handed, using only his pumpkin magic."

Stormy's eyes went wide with surprise.

"No way!"

Icy gazed at Darcy with mild interest.

"So how'd he do it"

Darcy leaned back, propping her arms behind her.

"He planted a single seed on the upper slopes of the mountain. Then he used his magic to make it sprout and grow into one of the biggest pumpkins ever seen. And all the while its roots and vines dug into the mountain, tearing it all up. When he was done, he just gave the pumpkin a shove and sent it tumbling down the mountainside. All that weight rumbling down the already weakened slope, along with the roots being torn loose, just absolutely pulverized the rock and brought that whole side of the mountain crashing down on the pursuing army below."

Icy's eyes lit up with delight at the scene of carnage Darcy described.

"I have to admit, that's fairly impressive. Who'd have thought pumpkins could do so much damage? If I'd have known pumpkins could be so deadly I would have turned that little turncoat Mirta into something else."

She leaned toward Darcy with a teasing grin.

"And who knew you were such a little history buff? Or do you just like guys with bad attitudes?"

Stormy copied Icy's grin.

"Yeah, like Riven."

Darcy scowled back at the other two witches.

"Hey, contrary to what I may let guys think, I do not think with my crotch. I just paid attention hoping to catch some hints on how to cast that spell. A plant hex that powerful could come in real useful."

Still grinning, Icy and Stormy exchanged glances as they chorused the word they were both thinking.

"Suuuuure!"

Darcy crossed her arms and grumped while the other two laughed. As she turned her head to look away she noticed the checkered picnic blanket spread out in the grass nearby.

"Finally! Dinner's here."

One of the many irritants the trio had been forced to get used to since their arrival at Light Haven was the way in which their meals were delivered. Apparently somebody who worked there thought it cute to teleport their meals in as close to them as possible without ever letting them actually see the food appear. Whenever it was time for a meal they would just turn around and there it would be waiting for them.

There didn't even seem to be any real point to it other than somebody getting their kicks by proving they could sneak the food in unnoticed every time. One time Stormy had fallen asleep on the ground close to mealtime and woke up to find herself neatly tucked in under the picnic blanket. That was one picnic blanket that had not been recovered intact. Stormy had ripped it to shreds.

When they were done with their meal the picnic trappings would always disappear as mysteriously as they had appeared. Once the threesome had remained sitting on the picnic blanket for two straight hours trying to catch the moment it vanished. Eventually they wound up getting in an argument, and the next time they looked down they discovered they were sitting on bare grass. They finally grew tired of the game and stopped bothering to try. Whoever was doing it was simply too good at it.

Irritating as the method of delivery might be, it was very convenient for them, never having to travel far from where they happened to be to find their next meal. The three witches stood up and walked over to the picnic spread, Icy and Stormy still grinning over their teasing of Darcy. Sitting on the blanket beside the accustomed picnic basket they spotted a new addition; a pizza box. Icy elbowed Stormy conspiratorially and grinned even wider.

"Well well. Pizza as promised. Looks like Darcy's new boyfriend came through for us after all."

Darcy glared daggers at her two friends as Stormy chuckled at Icy's jab.

"Humph! You guys are just jealous that I got to him first."

Icy waved off Darcy's feeble counter-attack as she knelt down on the blanket.

"Pff! Please! He's not even my type."

Darcy grinned as she warmed up to the game.

"Oh, I don't know about that. I think he's just your type. Behind that smiling facade of his lies a devious mind. He's powerful, notorious, and he may even be as good at pushing people's buttons as you are. I'll bet that's why you like him so much, Ms. first-name-basis."

Now it was Icy's turn to clench her jaw and growl while Stormy pointed and laughed.

"She's got you there, Icy!"

Darcy turned a wicked little grin on Stormy.

"But then Icy may not be the only one falling for him. Sounds to me like Stormy may have found her perfect guy too."

Stormy stopped laughing with a startled look.

"Huh? Hey, whaddaya mean by that?"

Darcy started ticking off points on her fingers one by one.

"The guy hides it well but he's got a temper which might even be a match for yours. Pinning a patient to the wall like that isn't exactly professional behaviour you know. The guy lost his cool there. Second, he's willing to put up with a lot of your crap before he puts his foot down. Third, he's too arrogant to accept help when he needs it until he's out of options, kinda like a certain hot-headed witch we know. Fourth, if he took on the entire realm of Magix by himself, I'm betting he's strong enough to take you on one-on-one."

Icy chuckled at Darcy's assessment and the angry look on Stormy's face.

"I gotta admit, Darcy's right. Dr. Shreever sounds perfect for you."

Stormy was holding her arms straight down at her sides in a barely suppressed rage.

"He is not! I hate his guts! I don't care how famous or infamous he is! If I had my powers back I'd wipe the walls with him!"

Icy kept grinning at Stormy's irritation.

"And I'm sure he'd give as good as he got. It's a match made in heaven."

Darcy regarded her sisters with a sober stare.

"The point is, any one of us could start falling for him if we're not careful. This guy's more dangerous than he looks. Let's not forget, he's not on our side. He's been brainwashed by these do-gooders and now he's trying to do the same to us."

Icy sobered up.

"Darcy's got a point. We've been taking this guy far too lightly. He may have been the Pumpking King once, but now he's our enemy. He's playing head games with us, just like I said from the start. I'll bet he timed this little bombshell to cause the most possible division between us. We can't let him get to us. We've got to be smarter than he is and turn his little game to our advantage. He wants to win us over? Fine, we let him think he's getting somewhere with us, but all the while we'll be the ones twisting him around our little fingers. While he's busy trying to turn us into nice little witches, we'll remind him just how much fun it is being evil and win him over to our side. Once we turn him back to the dark side he'll sign our release ticket and get us out of here. Then once we've got what we want we'll dump him and leave him twisting in the wind."

The three witches were now all wearing identical sinister grins. Icy reached for the pizza box and opened it. When she looked inside her expression shifted to one of baffled confusion.

"Wait a minute. This pizza has four different sets of toppings. There's only three of us. Who ordered the pineapple?"

"That would be me."

All three witches turned to face the voice that responded to Icy's query. There beside them was Dr. Shreever, smiling down at them with a smug grin on his face. Icy glared up at him.

"How long have you been standing there?"

Dr. Shreever shrugged.

"Oh, not long. I came in about the point where the three of you leave me twisting in the wind. You know if you want to plot against someone you really ought to pay a little closer attention to when and where you do it. It can be terribly embarrassing if your target finds out what you're planning for him."

Stormy turned her head away and crossed her arms.

"Hmph! What an ego. Like we were even talking about you!"

Dr. Shreever raised his eyebrows in mock surprise, still smiling.

"Oh really? Well then who pray tell were you girls talking about?"

Stormy's eyes opened wide and her face went slack as she scrambled to find a way to salvage her lie.

"Uh ..."

Icy quickly came to her rescue.

"We were talking about Prince Sky of Eraklyon, Bloom's boyfriend. We were just discussing what we're gonna do to him when we get out of here, as payback to Bloom for putting us in here in the first place."

Darcy grinned darkly as she picked up on Icy's lead.

"That's right. We're gonna truss him up real good and leave him dangling from the highest branch of the tallest tree we can find as bait to lure Bloom into our clutches."

Icy and Stormy joined Darcy in grinning about this plan. Stormy was thinking it sounded like a plan they could actually use. Icy wondered if being tied up might be one of Darcy's secret fantasies. Dr. Shreever grinned jovially as he sat down on the blanket beside them.

"Ah, I see. Thus the reference to leaving him twisting in the wind. You meant that literally. How foolish of me to assume you must be talking about me. I hope you don't mind if I join you for dinner tonight. I thought we made excellent progress in our sessions today and I just wanted to spend a little time with you as a group as opposed to individually."

Stormy glared at him.

"You mean you came to spy on us. What'd you do, teleport in or turn invisible so we wouldn't see you coming?"

Icy helped herself to a slice of pizza while she jumped in to answer before the doctor could.

"He didn't have to. He just walked."

Dr. Shreever gave Icy an approving smile.

"Exactly so Icy. But tell me, how did you arrive at that conclusion?"

Icy gave him a level stare.

"Simple. You're a psychologist, so why waste magic when you can pull off the same effect with a little applied psychology?"

She gestured toward the nearby path where a group of children were flying kites and a young couple were strolling along hand-in-hand in the early evening light.

"We're surrounded by these stupid holograms all day. We've gotten used to ignoring them because they're so boring and we can't do anything to them. They're just background as far as we're concerned. We notice the guards when they come for us because they actually talk, one thing these holograms never do. All you had to do was tag along with a group of holograms heading our general direction, then walk right up to us without saying a word. We were so busy talking we just ignored you, thinking you were just another hologram."

Dr. Shreever applauded Icy's explanation.

"Bravo Icy. A marvelous piece of deduction. You know, you might make an excellent psychologist yourself someday."

Icy closed her eyes and turned her head away in disdain.

"Please! Like I don't have anything better to do with my life than sit around and listen to people whine about their stupid problems all day."

Dr. Shreever reached into the pizza box and helped himself to a slice from the pineapple quadrant.

"Is that what you think I'm doing? Sitting around listening to your problems?"

Icy turned a mildly accusing glare on the doctor.

"I think you're messing with our heads Dr. Shreever, or should I call you 'Pumpkin King'?"

Dr. Shreever chuckled jovially.

"Ah. Now that's a name I haven't heard in quite a while. So you've heard of me then. I'm flattered."

Darcy lowered the slice of pizza she'd been about to bite into.

"So you're him then. You really are the Pumpkin King."

Dr. Shreever bowed his head to Darcy graciously.

"One and the same, though I haven't gone by that moniker since I gave up witchcraft."

Stormy scowled at him.

"Yeah, right. Tell that to my back."

Dr. Shreever winced sypmatheticly.

"I do apologize for that Stormy. Slamming you up against a wall like that after all the trauma you've already been through today was thoughtless of me."

Icy grinned maliciously.

"Oh please! Like she wasn't totally asking for it when she jumped you. She's just lucky you let her off so easy. And here I thought you said you weren't gonna do that anymore, Stormy."

Stormy glared back at Icy.

"The guy had it coming! He ticked me off!"

Darcy grinned as she chimed in.

"Who doesn't tick you off?"

Stormy crossed her arms and grumped while Icy and Darcy laughed. Even Dr. Shreever had an amused grin on his face.

"It's nice to see how well you three girls get along. I can see that there's a real bond between you."

All three girls looked at Dr. Shreever like he was out of his mind. Darcy responded first.

"How do you figure that? You call us picking on Stormy 'getting along'?"

Dr. Shreever grinned at their confusion.

"Why yes, of course. Quite often such gentle teasing among friends or family members is a sign of closeness and affection."

Icy rolled her eyes.

"Oh, gag me! This isn't about closeness and affection. This is our way of establishing the pecking order in our group. See, Stormy gets picked on the most so she's bottom of the totem pole. I, on the other hand, get teased the least, so that makes me top of the food chain."

Just then a soothing masculine voice issued from the hidden speakers planted all throughout the meadow. A quick look around showed that all of the hologram people had ceased their leisurely activities and were staring up into the sky with vapid smiles on their faces as they apparently listened in. Icy, Darcy and Stormy all covered their ears and grimaced as the voice extolled various platitudes and uplifting thoughts such as "Today is a beautiful day. Share it with someone you love." and "You are a unique and wonderful person. Reach out to others and share the gift of friendship." Stormy glared at the nearby group of kite flyers who were now standing with their kites firmly in hand as they smiled up at the evening sky.

"I'd rather reach out and share the gift of mayhem!"

Icy gritted her teeth.

"They do this to us every hour! You'd think they could at least time it so we could eat our meals in peace!"

Even Dr. Shreever was now wearing a grimace of distaste.

"Gad! I'd forgotten just how annoying this was."

He reached up and squeezed a small crystal button clipped to the collar of his robe.

"Meadow Control, this is Dr. Shreever. Can we please lose the sermon? It's being counter-productive right now."

A tinny voice from the crystal responded.

"Of course Doctor."

A moment later the voice from the hidden speakers went silent. The three witches uncovered their ears and stared at Dr. Shreever. Darcy was first to break the silence.

"Wow. I guess you do have some pull around here."

Dr. Shreever shrugged casually.

"A little, yes, but no more so than any other therapist on staff."

Icy pointed at the nearby group of holograms.

"Check it out guys. Looks like somebody didn't get the message that story time is over."

The others looked to see that the holographic people were still standing around staring raptly up into the sky, drinking in every non-existent word. Stormy turned to Dr. Shreever with a puzzled look.

"Don't those guys know the sermon is over?"

Dr. Shreever grinned back at her in mild amusement.

"They're holograms, Stormy. They don't 'know' anything. And actually, the broadcast isn't over yet. We're just not hearing it anymore. Once the broadcast runs its course they will resume their accustomed preprogrammed activities."

Icy scowled.

"Then in one hour we'll be subjected to the same mindless drivel all over again."

Darcy leaned toward Dr. Shreever.

"Can't you get them to stop the broadcasts altogether?"

Dr. Shreever sighed wearily.

"I wish I could. I've gone 'round with the review board on this matter several times, trying to get them to stop the broadcasts on the grounds that it constitutes psychological torture for those like you and I, but they won't listen. They are convinced that the broadcasts are effective. All I am able to do is have them cut off individual broadcasts on a spot basis."

Darcy moved closer to Dr. Shreever and ran her finger along his chest.

"Then I guess we'll just have to have you over for dinner more often, Thaddeus."

Icy glanced at Stormy and discreetly winked at her. Stormy grinned back, knowing full well what that wink meant. If they could entice Dr. Shreever to spend more time here with them that would provide them with more opportunities to wrap him around their little fingers. The two of them moved over to cosey up on either side of Dr. Shreever and join their sister Darcy in convincing him that it would be a simply marvelous idea for him to come back and join them for dinner as often as possible.