Borealis: A Zutara Story

Chapter 50

After putting on her clothes, Katara had placed one of the love seat pillows on the floor and curled up on it to try and make sense of things.

They had invaded the Fire Nation during the eclipse. Her father and the other men were prepared to sacrifice themselves to allow them to escape with the other children. They had been rescued by her Gran-Gran. The little old lady who claimed her shoulders were too arthritic to stir sea prunes paddled a rescue kayak and threw her boomerang with enough strength to fell a man in each direction. 

The Fire Lord had come out once the eclipse was over and his Firebending had returned. They had left Toph behind with Iroh to escape but still ended up being captured. They weren’t sure if she were safe but considering Ozai had asked for her whereabouts they could assume she was still on the run.

Zuko had made her his concubine.  Fire Lord Ozai liked her. He had watched while Zuko raped her. He watched while Zuko put his face between her legs and gave her his signet ring. He had approved of Zuko giving her two vaults each worth more than a decade of her tribe’s gross national product.

She was Zuko’s concubine.

Zuko had been kind to her. He protected her from the men at court. He said he wouldn’t touch her once they returned to the ship but he raped her again. He was kind and said he was sorry it wouldn’t happen again but he’d raped her again. He’d get hard but didn’t rape her every time. Last night he’d been content with her hand but this morning he’d held her down and raped her twice.  She’d been taught that once a man raped castration was the only one way to stop him, but Zuko still had his parts. He still had his parts and he still got aroused, but he didn’t force them inside her each time they stiffened.

It was a game to him. She was a game to him. He was enjoying keeping her off-balance. He’d been nice but it was only a matter of time before he hurt her again. Fear and dread were overwhelming her mind. Katara pulled herself up into lotus position and began the meditation sequence taught to the warriors of her tribe.

Step one of overcoming the fear was accepting the pain. She would be hurt. Zuko would hurt her. Step two was channeling the pain into something useful.  Anger was useful. Step three was honing the anger into a blade. She couldn’t waiver, falter, weaken, get curious, sympathize, empathize, or relate to him. That was her first mistake. Step four was focusing her mind. She couldn’t cry and curl up against him heedless of her surroundings. She had to keep a level head at all times.

Step five was envisioning the battlefield. Picture all possible outcomes and how to respond to them. Scenario one they escaped and left Appa behind.  Scenario two they escaped with Appa. Scenario three they escaped and killed the Fire Lord’s children in the process. Scenario four they never escaped and she remained Zuko’s concubine. Scenario five she sacrificed herself to let Aang and Sokka escape.

Step six was disconnecting your mind from your body and your morals from your task. Become the battlefield, the battle plan, the blade, not just the wielder to accomplish what needed to be done. That was what the guard loyal to Azula had told her the first day. That was what she’d been taught in the invitation only “marriage preparation” lessons at the North Pole.

Those classes were only open to certain women, bender and non-bender alike, who were being forced to marry against their will. They weren’t for women like Yue who accepted their marriages as a duty. Those were only for women who were being kept prisoners in their home until their wedding day so they would not throw themselves off of a cliff or go out and shame themselves with the men they loved or follow her grandmother’s legendary example and flee. Those lessons were only for women desperate enough to do anything to break an unwanted marriage arrangement and were taught by those who had already been trapped.

There were healing sessions for women who showed up bruised and battered from being held down and raped by their husbands. They had been unable to escape and refused to back down and continued to fight long after they became the property of the men they hated. There were also sessions for the women who had stopped fighting and were pretending to be cowed while waiting for the way to strike back. 

She had learned a lot from those so called powerless women. Their words would be her strength and the key to Zuko’s downfall.