Widdle Wincoln

>Thanksgiving approached. The Loud family had prepared dinner for the large number of guests expected to come tonight.
>Poppop and Grandma Loud were driving over from Ann Arbor, as well as several aunts, uncles, and cousins.
>The Loud siblings loved Thanksgiving. Mom was a great cook, and it was the one time of year where they were able to catch up with the other members of the family.
>On this day, however, an atmosphere of dread took the place of holiday cheer in the Loud House
>For this Thanksgiving would be the first one they'd spend with Widdle Wincoln.
>Mr. and Mrs. Loud begged and pleaded with Lincoln not to wear the diaper when the dinner guests arrived. Or, at the very least, to wear some age-appropriate clothes.
>"Babies don't weaw pants. I gotta have my diapee."
>At a loss, the parents figured that the only sensible thing to do would be to keep Lincoln locked in his room until the night was over.
>Hours later, the guests flooded into the house and sat down at the dinner table, while the Loud children all cluttered around the kiddie table.
>Aunt Shirley asked Mrs. Loud, "So, where's your baby, Rita?"
>"Oh... he's not feeling well, so he's up in his room."
>Aunt Shirley blinked and whispered into her husband's ear, "I thought they had a baby girl..."
>During the middle of dinner, some of the guests paused as a high-pitched whining began to emanate from upstairs, glancing over at Mr. and Mrs. Loud in confusion and concern.
>Just as Mr. and Mrs. Loud attempted to wave off the situation, a silence came over them as the whining ceased and the slow creaking of an opening door echoed throughout the house.
>Heavy, wet footsteps made their way down the stairs until Widdle Wincoln stood before the dinner table, clad in nothing but his diaper and his feet smeared in excrement.
>"Baby hungwy. Baby need food!"
>The guests looked on in horror as the preteen baby waddled over to the table, grabbed a turkey bone from Poppop's plate, and began sucking on it gleefully. Grandma Loud fainted from shock.
>Aunt Shirley stood up from her seat and shouted, "This is how you raise your children?!"
>Lincoln was entranced as Aunt Shirley's breasts jiggled from the motion, and he immediately pounced onto her and attempted to wrestle her breast from out of her dress.
>From the other room, the Loud children gazed upon the sight in disgust and amazement until Lori finally charged forward and freed Aunt Shirley from Lincoln's attack, hurriedly apologizing for her brother's actions.
>The mortified Mr. and Mrs. Loud, their faces drained of color, repeated Lori's apologies to their infuriated family members as they stormed out of the house one by one.
>After everyone had left, Lincoln began to cry.
>"Baby wants pumpkin pie now!"