Home Is Where You Are

A/N: Okies…this Chapter is for LoneHowler, Zuka, Bury, and BananaFuzzle, my new reviewers!

It’s also got a special thank you to XpennameX who not only reviewed, but sent me an IM and helped me work out a few things with the story! I thank you ever so much and really appreciate the feedback!

Also, one little thing…yes, I know there’s apparently an episode where Dib manages to gain control of the Massive. Something to do with Tak’s ship? I never saw that episode, however. So…in my mind, it never happened. Sorry! It’s called poetic license and in my story, Dib doesn’t know what the Massive is. Hope you all enjoy this chapter anyway and remember…I alert to updates so IM or review! ~ FA

~*~*~*~*~*~

Zim stood outside the Membrane household and debated about knocking. At that moment, however, Dib walked outside wearing baggy black pants, a tight black tee-shirt that read “Sarcasm. One of the many services I offer.” in white writing across the front, and black combat boots. Dib froze a few steps from the sidewalk when he saw Zim standing there.

“What do you want?” Dib asked angrily. He was still upset over Zim’s behavior from three days before. It stung his pride.

“I wish to speak to you, Dib-worm.” Zim told him calmly. “I have a proposal for you to consider.”

“I’ve got to go to class.” Dib replied, turning and walking away, making a wide curve around Zim. “Maybe some other time.”

Zim grabbed Dib’s arm, having caught up with him easily. “Class is unimportant. Skool will not exist much longer.” Zim stated this firmly. “Besides, you are no longer a smeet by your planet’s standards and have no need for class.”

Dib tried to pull away, but realized quickly that it was useless and stopped struggling. “What do you mean, skool won’t exist anymore? And what the hell is a smeet?”

“A smeet is the term for a young Irken.” Zim explained impatiently. “You are no longer considered a human worm-baby, correct?”

“I’m nearly eighteen and legally an adult, if that’s what you mean.” Dib frowned. “And you still haven’t explained what you said about skool.”

Zim grinned evilly as he steered the semi-reluctant Dib towards his base. “I have a plan, an amazingly unstoppably plan, for enslaving the Earth. Once I have, there will be no more skool.”

Dib considered this in silence until they were seated in Zim’s kitchen. “Okay, so you’re going to enslave the world. What’s this proposal you have for me?”

Zim blinked at Dib’s acceptance of him taking over Earth, than said. “If you will assist me in convincing the Tallest that I am dead, I will not kill you or force you to do back-breaking labor with the other stink-beasts.”

“Oh.” Dib frowned again. “How are you going to enslave Earth?”

Ah, there was the questioning Zim had expected. “I’m going to use the Laser Canon Sweep.” He said simply.

“The…what?” Dib’s mouth fell open in shock. “You have a Laser Canon?”

Zim sighed. “All Invader ships are equipped with a Laser Canon. When an Invader conquers a marked planet, the entire Armada gathers – except the Invaders working on individual missions – and, with the Massive leading, they do an Organic Laser Canon Sweep and wipe out all life on the planet. Unless, of course, they can be used as slaves.”

“Wow.” Dib was quiet for a moment and then he said, “So, what exactly is the Massive? Why do you want your leaders to think you’re dead? If you’re going to enslave Earth, why use the Laser Canons?”

Zim’s mouth twitched up slightly at the corners; this was the brilliant, inquisitive Dib he knew. “The Massive is the Vortian-built Irken ship that heads the Armada. The Tallest command it.”

Dib nodded but said nothing, obviously waiting for the answers to the rest of his questions. With another sigh, Zim did his best to explain.

“The Tallest are awful leaders. They treat all shorter Irkens as though they are worthless, even if they do something worthwhile. I am much taller now than when I arrived, which I attribute to the different nutrition I’ve received since arriving on this planet.”

Dib nodded to show he followed so far and Zim continued. “The Tallest are still around two feet taller than me, so I’m not much of a threat to their positions. However, when I was short, it was easy for them to ridicule me – and my mission – before my fellow Irkens. Now that I am taller, they will have to acknowledge my accomplishments. Then they will bring the Armada and banish me even farther away. I see no reason to share my glory. I will rule Earth and I will do so without the interference of the Tallest.”

“That makes sense.” Dib stated when Zim finished his rant. “So why the lasers?”

“Laser.” Zim corrected. “Just one. So I can target major cities and bring this disgusting planet and its filthy worm-creature inhabitants to their knees.”

“Oh.” Dib fell silent once again, considering his options. “So you’re going to kill the humans who fight and enslave the rest?”

Zim nodded. “Precisely, Dib-monkey.” He narrowed his eyes. “Are you considering my proposal now?”

Dib sighed. “I suppose I am. If you don’t kill me or enslave me, what exactly will happen to me?”

“You will be granted a small faction of Earth to rule. Under,” Zim qualified quickly. “My final command, of course.”

“Of course.” Dib murmured. He closed his eyes, his brow furrowing as he thought. “Who, exactly, would I rule?”

Zim had considered this already, assuming correctly that Dib would find the answer to be crucial to his decision. “This whole country, I suppose, if you think you can handle it. At least those in this town. They’ve treated you as badly as the Tallest treat me.”

Dib frowned, his eyes still closed. Finally he opened them, his bright hazel gaze meeting Zim’s ruby red one. “Okay. I don’t want to die and being enslaved lacks appeal, so being a ruler of sorts – even under alien command – seems to be the best choice. I’ll help you fake your death.”

“Perfect.” Zim locked his fingers together and threw back his head, laughing slightly maniacally.

Dib watched Zim’s teeth and tongue in fascination as he laughed, his gaze shifting to the evil look in Zim’s eyes when the alien stopped laughing. “So,” Dib just HAD to ask. “How are you going to die?”