Love is Strong

Jonny recalls that when he woke up with Jess in his arms on the day she was leaving, his emotions went from zero to sixty in about four seconds. He had a brief few moments with the wonderful revelation that he had just awaken for the first time with the woman he loved safe in his arms. Then, like a ton of bricks crashing through a glass window, he remembered that she was leaving in just a few hours. He wanted more than anything to hold onto her for a little while longer, but after glancing at the clock he knew it was time to get up. The last thing he wanted was for Race to come barging in to find him with Jess.

"Hey," he called out softly and rubbed her back to try and bring her out of a deep sleep. "Time to wake up, Ace. If you don't want your dad barging in here to drag you out of bed you better get up now."

"Pfff," was all he got out of her, and he couldn't help but chuckle a little.

"Jessie, seriously, you need to get up. Your dad wants to take off in two hours so you're not late for your orientation."

The word 'orientation' seemed to snap Jess out her sleepy state.

"Oh my God," she said as she flew up into a sitting position on the bed. The sudden movement proved too much for her, however, and she immediately placed her head in her hands and began rubbing her temples. "Oh my God," she repeated and then laid back down again.

Jonny knew that she deserved everything she was feeling, but he still felt bad for her. "How much whiskey did you down last night, Jess?"

"I have no idea," she replied. "Clearly it was way too much though."

"I'm sorry that I didn't stop you sooner, but I didn't even see the shot glass in your hand until you were already on the ground. Why did you get so drunk anyway?" he asked.

About a minute passed where she didn't do anything except stare out the window. Jonny thought that she wasn't even gonna answer him, but she eventually just blurted out that she didn't know why she did it. She didn't really seem in the mood to talk at that moment, so Jonny decided to keep the conversation light. The last thing he wanted was for them to have a heavy conversation, and then for her to leave confused by him or, even worse, mad at him.

"So tell me," he began and smiled down at her. "Do you even remember last night?"

"Everything before the whiskey, yes. After is pretty fuzzy, but I'm still wearing the same clothes from last night so I guess I didn't do anything too crazy, right?"

"Well," he said in a serious voice. "You did try to take advantage of me numerous times last night, but I was a gentleman." She smiled as he told her this. "Although I must say that I feel a little violated."

"Shut up," she said through laughter. "Don't make me laugh, it hurts too much. And don't tell lies about me Quest"

"Sorry, sorry," he apologized. "Ok, the truth is that I tried every move in the book last night, but you just weren't having any of it." She laughed and nodded her head in approval as best she could at his comment.

"Well, that sounds a little closer to the truth anyway," she said and gave him that smile he loves so much.

"You gonna be ok?" he asked

"Yeah, but I'm not looking forward to the flight. I hope my dad doesn't feel the need to go fast or anything."

"Well, at least the plane is already packed so you don't have to do any lifting this morning," he added.

"Yeah, but I'm not exactly looking forward to unpacking. You are so lucky that your meeting was switched to today so you don't have to help." She tried to say this with a smile, but her voice was too sad to make it convincing.

"Believe it or not I'd rather be going with you, even though unpacking duties would follow," he replied. He really did too. He wanted to see where she would be living for the next year, and what her roommate was like. He hated being left completely in the dark.

"Yeah, I know," she said. "I wish you were coming too. I don't wanna say goodbye."

"Me either," he said and things got a little quiet.

"Oh," she piped up. "I have a present for you."

"The phone?" he interrupted. "You gave it to me last night last," he added quickly to clear up her confusion.

"Oh, that's right. I do remember that now," she said and a look of dawning came to her face "And some other things too. God, I'm sorry I got so emotional last night," she apologized.

"It's not a problem," he told her. "I mean there's no need to hide how you're really feeling from me. I want to know these things. I can't make you feel better if I don't."

She gave him a huge smile for that. "Thanks, J. See this is why we need the phones."

"I know," he started. "I mean I don't think I'll be able to get through my day if you don't call me a jerk twelve times and laugh at my stupid jokes. Now, I don't really have to worry about it."

"I'll make every effort so you don't have too," she said smiling at him, and then she sighed deeply. "I have to get ready to go."

"I know," he said sadly as he got up off her bed. "I'm gonna get out of your hair. I'll see you downstairs."

"Ok," was her only reply and then she called out his name. Jonny stopped and turned around in the middle of her room, but before he was completely facing her, she was wrapped in his arms.

"Thanks for everything last night, Jonny," she whispered in his ear.

He pulled her a little closer before answering. "Anytime Jess, anytime." Then he let go, gave her a little wink, and walked out of the room leaving his heart inside.

Before he could blink, he was on the tarmac outside the Compound waiting to say goodbye to Jess. He watched as she hugged Hadji and his father, and then tried unsuccessfully to slow her down as she came towards him. He remembers that he tried to smile, but he knows it must have looked fake as hell because it sure felt that way.

"I guess this is goodbye for now, Hotshot," she said without looking him in the eye.

"Yeah, doesn't feel right does it," he said.

"Not even a little bit," she replied. He could tell that she was fighting hard not to well up so he quickly pulled her into a tight hug. He knew that she wouldn't want anyone to see her crying.

"Call me when you get settled," he said.

"Yeah, don't worry. I think I'll be calling you a lot," she said.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," he told her. "Besides I'd be worried if you didn't, and probably lonely too."

"I don't think your gonna be lonely, J. I think the girls in Rockport have been counting the days till my departure. I'm public enemy number one to most girls around here in case you haven't noticed." He thought he heard her voice waver. "They all think I'm like personally blocking their way to you or something," she said with a small laugh to try and cover up her upset tone.

He felt the laugh go through her body and had to take a second to breath. "God, whose gonna save me from all the crazies now?" he asked. She didn't answer, just held him closer.

"We gotta go, Ponchita," Race yelled from a few feet away.

Jonny thinks he may have hated Race for a nanosecond, but he just decided to ignore him for a few more moments and pulled her even closer if that was possible. He opened his mouth, but didn't know what to say. He knew that he wanted to tell her he loved her. He wanted to scream it, but he didn't know what to let actually come out of his mouth. He thought she seemed like she wanted to say something too, but she never did.

Before he knew it, she let go and ran towards the plane. He can't remember what was harder, watching her leave and board the plane, or the fact that she didn't look back once. It felt to him like she was letting go of more than just his embrace.

Jonny thinks now that he was probably just overreacting because his emotions were in a tailspin on that morning. He talks to Jess numerous times a day. They try to keep things as normal as possible, and, except for the fact that she's not physically with him anymore, he feels like they've done a pretty good job of it. He just misses the little things so much. Like the way she would try to fix his unruly hair at the breakfast table before school, or the way she would jump on his back to avoid walking up the hill to the lighthouse where Questworld is located. He misses the hugs, the kisses on the cheek, and God how he misses the way she helps him handle all of the crazy girls that cross his path. He just misses her.

When she left at the end of August, Jonny actually thought that he would be seeing her again in just a few days for the Labor Day weekend. Once again, he spent hours over the week leading to the holiday thinking about what he was going to say to her, and fantasizing about how he'd like her to react. Unfortunately, a few hours before they were supposed to take off for Boston, Race and his father received a phone call from Argentina regarding business. They had to make an emergency flight down there to handle a mix up with local authorities that was interfering with an important government project. Since the family was unable to visit Jess as planned and Dr. Quest didn't want his son in Argentina, Jonny practically begged his father to let him fly out commercial to Boston, but the idea never took flight.

He was extremely disappointed and he could tell that Jess was too, but he eventually decided that dwelling on it would just drive him crazy. He was gonna focus on making her fall break special, which came at the end of October. Of course something came up to ruin this too. She ended up not making it home because she had a huge group project to present right after the break in her Psychology class. All of her teammates had decided to stay at school to work on it so she had to stay, as well. She wanted Jonny to fly up, but he couldn't because he had school and then a football game that weekend. He can't help but wonder now if Jordan had been there with her that weekend.

Next came the Thanksgiving holiday, Jonny's favorite. By this time he was absolutely bursting to see her, and he knew that Race was too, so he didn't think anything could stand in their way. He was so wrong, however. A few days prior to the holiday, Jonny, Hadji, Dr. Quest, and Race were in England to attend the wedding of the prime minister's son. Originally, Jess had planned to skip a few classes and go with them. They were all just gonna have a mini vacation and celebrate overseas, but, when Jess decided that she couldn't miss the classes, plans changed a little.

After the wedding, the guys were gonna go straight to Boston to be with Jess. Jonny was upset that he wouldn't get as much time with her, but still so happy that he'd be seeing her after so long. The terrorists that made bomb threats at all of England's airports didn't care how Jonny was feeling though. No flights were allowed in or out of every English airport for over a week. Jonny was beyond angry. Not only were his plans to see Jess screwed up for a third time in as many months, he also had his favorite holiday ruined.

After thinking all of this through again, Jonny is trying to convince himself that there is no way she'll go away with Jordan and his family for Christmas. If she were planning on going to the Hamptons for Christmas break he knows she would have told him. Then again, she's never mentioned Jordan so maybe she's not telling him as much as she used to. Even if she hadn't told him though, he can't fathom a reason as to why she wouldn't have told Race yet if she was going. Race is expecting his baby girl to come home in two weeks, and to stay for at least a month. He would kill her if she didn't, and Race has given no indication to Jonny that he doesn't expect Jess to come home. The only problem is that Estella sounded pretty convinced earlier tonight that she and Jess were going to the Hamptons.

'God,' he thinks to himself. 'Stop driving yourself crazy trying to figure this out. Just call and ask her.'

Jonny carefully put his mother's letter back into its envelope, and then put it in the drawer beside his bed along with the locket. He decided that he couldn't wait any longer. He didn't care if he interrupted Jess' date. In fact, he could be doing himself a favor by possibly interrupting something he didn't want happening anyway. As he reached for the tiny black phone that he always keeps at his waist, he felt it begin to vibrate.

"Hello," he answered a little out of breath

"Hey," she replied. "Did I interrupt anything?"

"No, not at all," he assured her. "You just scared me, I was about to call you."

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Why does something have to be wrong?" he asked defensively.

"It doesn't," she answered back defensively, as well. "It's just that I said I would call you when I got back tonight, so I figured there must be a reason for you to call sooner."

"I guess I just forgot about that," he said a little unfocused.

"You don't sound right," she said a little concerned.

'Of course I don't sound right,' he thought to himself. 'Your falling in love with someone else, your thousands of miles away, and there's nothing I can do about it.'

Jonny had to stop himself and try to concentrate for a minute. The last thing he wanted to do was get mad at her. He didn't want to give her a reason not to come home. He couldn't help himself though. He wasn't mad at her. He was mad at himself for losing her and he shouldn't be taking it out on her. He just has to calm down and get some facts straight.

"You still there, J? You're scaring me," she said with her voice sounding more worried.

"I'm here. I'm fine," he said. "How are you?"

"I'm ok," she answered slowly. "So how bout you tell me what's going on. Did something happen with Mary tonight?" she asked.

He can't help but notice the clear distain in her voice whenever she mentions Mary's name. When he's being completely honest with himself, he knows that the only reason he goes out with Mary is to make Jess jealous. Or at least the childish side of him hopes that it makes her jealous. Jess never really likes any of the girls that Jonny dates, but Mary seems to elicit the biggest reaction. He's never been quite sure if it's a jealous reaction though.

"Mary's fine," he answered, offering no more details and then quickly adding in an accusatory tone, "So how's Jordan?"

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. He knew by the small incoherent sound she made on the other end of the line that he had surprised her with the question. There had to be a full minute of silence before she said anything. He can only speculate as to what she was thinking in that minute.

"How...," she started, and then, "He's fine."

Another moment of silence went by. Jonny could hear his heart thundering in his ears waiting for her to say more, but she didn't.

"Were you ever gonna tell me about him, Jess?" He knew that he sounded like a jealous boyfriend even though he had no right to.

"I didn't say anything because there's nothing to tell. We've only gone on a few dates, not that it's any of your business by the way," she said, starting to sound angry.

He deserved it, but that comment still stung like nothing else.

"Whatever," was his only reply. He didn't really know how to redirect this conversation. He knew it could only get worse.

"What the hell does that mean?" she asked. Her temper was beginning to get the better of her. "I don't understand why you are so angry. I told you that I was going out. Why does it matter who I went with? He's just some guy, Jonny."

"Some guy you've known since before you even met me," he retorted angrily, his brain no longer involved in this conversation. He was working off of pure emotion, primarily fear and frustration. "Some guy that you're either planning on, or at least considering, spending Christmas break with and maybe more. I don't think 'just some guy' really sums things up, Jess. You know your family hasn't seen you in four months, but I guess you don't care. I can't believe your going to..."

"Where the hell do you get off," she loudly interrupted his tirade. "You have no idea what you're talking about, and you don't get to decide what I do. I'm..."

"Well, that would be because you haven't told me anything, Jess" he cut her off. He couldn't believe that she didn't just come right out and say that going to the Hamptons or Europe was a completely ridiculous notion. Deep down he didn't really believe she would consider going, but now he thinks that he was very wrong

This revelation, coupled with an already emotional evening, suddenly made Jonny feel like he could break down at any second. He needed to get off the phone.

"Jonny," she tried to start.

"Just whatever, ok?" he said very quickly.

"What the hell is 'whatever' supposed to mean, huh?" She was as angry as he's ever heard her.

"Whatever, as in I don't give a fuck anymore Jess," he said this slow and loud so that she wouldn't be able to detect the tremble in his, and then he hung up before she could reply.

She tried calling back numerous times, but he couldn't bring himself to do anything except stare at the phone. He didn't handle that at all like he should have. He was wrong, and he knows it. He just wants her to come home.

'God I want to go home,' was the only thing on Jessie's mind, as she lay curled up in a ball on her dorm room bed crying. Normally, it takes a lot more than a fight with Jonny to make her cry, but his abrupt change in attitude really caught her off guard and upset her. He sounded so angry and hurt, and it appears as if she's the cause for it. She hates it when they're angry at each other, but she can't stand the thought that he's sad because of her.

'What the hell is going on?' she asks herself for the hundredth time. That's all she wants to know, but he won't pick up the phone. So she just lies there and cries, as she continues to hit redial. She is so confused right now, and she needs to talk to Jonny. Hell, she was confused before she called him, and now he's gone and made things worse. He was supposed to make things better.

For the last two hours, she's been sitting on her bed thinking about everything. School, Jordan, her mom, her dad, but mostly she's been thinking about Jonny. The boy that confuses her like no other, and here he goes doing it again.