Megami Joushou

The sound of footsteps caused Megami to look up. Irk's Prince was now towering over her, face solemn, arms crossed. Wiping away her tears and sitting up, Megami felt her chest tighten. What if all that charm had been a ruse?! She was so STUPID! He may kill her right here and now -- or worse, he could tie her up like a milk cow and use her as a sex slave! Why was she so TRUSTING?! So naive?!

Cynicism glancing across his features, Vermeil stated, "Well -- this is a surprise..."

"I -- I -- I'm so sorry for sneaking onboard... Prince... Prince Vermeil..." Megami stuttered, "I... I just..."

Vermeil burst into laughter, shaking his head. "You're apologizing for 'sneaking' onto a STOLEN ship?! Now THAT'S amusing. Ironic, even." Offering a hand to her, he said, "Why don't you get up off of the floor, Nymphette... Your beautiful tush may get dirty."

Relief washing over her, Megami gladly took his hand. It was surprisingly warm. When they were face-to-face, Vermeil told her, "I was surprised because I didn't think you had the guts. You looked pretty scared back there."

"I still AM scared," Megami whispered, tears threatening to return. "I... I have no idea what I'm doing...!"

Shooting Meg a cheesy grin, Vermeil replied, "Neither do I!"

Megami looked slowly about, examining her new surroundings.

"Have you ever been in space before?" Vermeil asked, placing his hands on his hips.

"Not really..."

Putting his arm around her waist and ushering her forward, Vermeil said, "It's a lot of fun. Let's go see what kind of equipment we've got on this old junker."

"Junker?!" Megami thought the ship was beautiful. She had seen the inside of very few ships... The Membrane family never traveled. The inside of laboratories was all Meg ever got to see.

The Membrane family...

"Are you sure we're safe?" Megami asked, looking back nervously. "What is this 'diversion' you were talking about earlier?"

Peeking into a bedroom, Vermeil said, "I had one of my companions cause a little trouble, posing as me. I gave him my Pak ID and everything... By the time they figure it out I'll be long gone." He shook his head. "Humans base judgement too easily on appearances. That is one of their many faults."

Wrapping her arms around herself, pulling Dib's trenchcoat close, Meg whispered, "Vermeil... I... Would appreciate if you wouldn't keep speaking of them like that."

"And why not?" he answered coolly. "They've only been trying to wipe us off the face of the universe for two grentnels now."

Not even bothering to ask what a "grentnel" was, Megami replied, "You all were the ones trying to take OVER the universe!"

"And by 'you all,' you mean 'we,' right?" Vermeil asked, raising an eyebrow ridge at her.

"I do not consider myself to be an Irken."

"Why not?!" Vermeil cried in disbelief.

Looking at the floor, Meg murmured, "Because. Because... I was not raised Irken."

"But you ARE Irken," Vermeil insisted, lightly tugging on an antenna. He looked her over momentarily, then said, "I get it now. They've gone and brainwashed you."

"Huh?"

"The humans. They've brainwashed you into thinking OUR people--" He was sure to emphasize "our" quite harshly "--are evil conquerors that were trying to take over the universe. Right?"

"Well-- I guess... I mean..." She balled up her fists. "No! It's the truth! I know all about what you've done! You all destroyed Earth!"

"'WE' all..."

"I didn't do anything!"

"And neither did I." Stopping and turning to Megami, he continued, "I was born on Veloixs where I lived a quiet childhood in the mountains with my nanny and a few close friends. Until a HUMAN came along and killed everyone."

Shaking her head, Megami said, "Humans don't kill. We-- They-- only take prisoners."

"Or so you've been told, right?"

Megami's heart sank. It was true that she could have been lied to. She had been lied to about everything else! She wouldn't put it past them to lie about the Irkens as well. What if the Earth was destroyed because the HUMANS were a threat?

No, she was an adult now, and she wouldn't allow her opinions to be dictated by others any longer. "You can't possibly make me believe that the Irkens are so noble when you just abandoned all of your comrades on Nirvana."

"The greater good will be served," Verm replied without batting an eye. "Besides, if you really aren't Irken, but one of THEM, then you've technically abandoned THEM just like I abandoned MY kin... Right?"

After the last two days she'd had, Megami didn't feel like talking in logical circles with this Bugger at the moment. They had been walking the halls of the ship during their entire conversation, not paying attention to much. "Aren't we supposed to be looking at the layout of this joint?!" she barked. Pointing at the room behind her, she demanded, "This will be MY room."

Vermeil's smile was annoyingly coy. "That's a broom closet." She blanched and he explained, "I already studied the ship's layout when we were taking off."

"This isn't where all the sleeping quarters are?"

"We passed that two jobgles ago."

A familiar voice rang out from the end of the hallway. "MEGAMI!"

Whirling about, Meg looked down to find GIR running towards her. "GIR?!" She dropped to her knees and grabbed the sides of his face as he stopped before her. "You've... Never called me by name before..." He was barely capable of remembering a command longer than half an hour. The tricks she had taught him had taken long hours of constant repetition to accomplish.

"I've been restored to full functionality," GIR stated, saluting as his little eyes glowed red. "And I remember my mission!"

"'Mission?'" Meg asked, leaning back on her haunches.

"I have to find my Master now!"

"What sort of gibberish are you speaking?" Vermeil said condescendingly as he peered at GIR over Meg's head. "All of the Invaders have been killed. Tenn was the last and..."

"MASTER!! MASTER!!" GIR hollered, pulling on his antenna in distress and pounding a fist on the ground, his eyes reverting to their normal color. "Must find my Master! MISSION! MY MISSION!"

Shaking her head incredulously, Megami whispered, "So you really MUST be a SIR unit... And... Papaw didn't build you at all..." She always wondered why he harbored such a hatred for something he supposedly created... Though GIR had always lacked self-control. When GIR nodded his assent at her statement, Megami turned to her companion. "Maybe he knows something about my parents," she said, returning her attention to the little robot. "GIR, did you know my parents? Did they give you to me?"

He was clearly confused. "'Parents'? I know a lot of people... Pig and Moose and the Squishy Lady and the Scary Monkey..." Remembering his original reason for distress, his eyes turned red again and he screamed, "MASTER! I must find my Master!"

Shaking his head, Vermeil observed, "This unit is clearly defective."

"Don't talk about my little GIRfect that way!" Meg cried, pulling the robot into her arms. Standing, she finished, "Besides, I think he might be the key to helping me find out more about myself..." Had Valerie caused this new change in GIR? Was this her way of finally unveiling the secrets she was never allowed to tell? "How can we find your master, GIR?"

"I can take you to him!" GIR cried in excitement, clapping his metallic hands.

"First we need a new ship," Vermeil broke in, annoyance clear on his features. "We can't be on this human monstrosity any longer than we have to--"

"MASTER!!" GIR yelled again, leaping at Vermeil and clinging to the side of his face, screaming and laughing maniacally. Verm flailed angrily, falling back against the wall and finally prying the robot free with an arm from his Pak. The surprised look on his face, the flush in his cheeks, the veil lifted from his normally cool eyes... Megami covered her mouth with all four hands in an effort not to laugh.

Holding GIR upside down by his leg, Vermeil glared in Megami's direction. "How the hell do you put up with this thing?!"

"MASTER! MASTERRRRR..."

Stifling a giggle, Megami replied, "I think he's kind of funny." Grabbing him away from Vermeil, she said sheepishly, "He's been my best friend ever since I was a baby..."

Vermeil was not moved. "He's going to be scrap metal if he touches me EVER AGAIN!"

"You wouldn't dare!" Megami cried angrily. "He means everything to me!"

"You have screwed-up priorities," Verm laughed, his face cold.

Holding GIR close, she growled, "Look who's talking. Who exactly is YOUR best friend, eh? That poor soul you left on Nirvana posing as you?"

"I am my own best friend," Vermeil replied all too seriously, his eyes a wall of stone. Turning on his heel, he headed back from the sleep hallway. "Let's decide where we'll be rooming."

Blinking, Megami couldn't help but think she'd gone too far. By the time she had reached the sleep hall, Verm had disappeared. She found a suitable room and sat GIR in front of the holovision.

"How about you watch some movies for awhile?" Meg asked, handing him a remote.

"YAAAAAAAAAAYTV!" GIR squealed, immediately turning on the device. Having thoroughly distracted him, Megami slipped from the room and closed the door.

After about fifteen minutes of searching, she finally found Vermeil in the control room, looking over the main computer terminal.

"Prince... Vermeil?"

His antennae perked, but he didn't reply.

"I'm... Really sorry if I hurt your feelings earlier--"

He turned his head to the side and nonchalantly replied, "Irken soldiers don't have 'feelings.'" His attention returned to the computer. "Unlike selfish humans, we put aside our own personal gain for the good of our entire race." Finally, he turned to Megami, leaning against the terminal. "That is what that 'poor soul' did for me on Nirvana. I needed to be free of that place so he offered himself as a diversion." Folding his arms over his chest and smirking, he hissed, "And what harm would it have done for him to stay behind, if the humans are as harmless as you claim they are?"

Vermail's speech led Megami to believe that he indeed DID have feelings and she had stepped right on them. She sighed, "Look... I..." She threw her arms into the air. "All I know is... GIR is all I have now. He's my only link to my parents... The only way I can find out who they are. Who *I* am."

"I thought you said you were an orphan?" An antler perked up.

Her pretty eyes were shining with tears. "I don't know what to believe anymore..."

Vermeil's face was somber. "Miss Megami... You can believe the things I say to you. I swear it."

This statement caught her by surprise. She was torn between natural suspicion and a want -- nay, a NEED -- to have someone she could believe in.

"...why?" she murmured, looking to him with doe eyes.

"Why--?"

"Why -- would you -- offer such a thing? What do I have to give you in return?"

Taking a slow step toward her, Vermeil answered, "I know what it's like to live a life... dictated by others. And... to want to know the truth. All my life has been a search for the truth."

Curiosity showing clearly in her features, Meg asked, "What 'truth?'"

"I won't know until I find it." Smiling earnestly, he walked by and grabbed her hand, urging her to follow him through the control room door. "Let's find the sitting room, shall we? Irkens don't need to sit all that often, but... I imagine your non-Irken side is feeling rather tired."

"'Non-Irken side?'" Megami questioned.

"You must be a half-breed," Vermeil answered, looking back at her as he walked. "No Irken has four arms or wings like you do."

"I didn't know Irkens could reproduce naturally," Meg stated, looking at herself. "How could I be a half-breed if Irkens don't even BREED in the first place?"

"There are... ways..." Vermeil answered. "Though I suppose we'll find out the answer to that question when we find your parents."

Just then, GIR came barrelling down the hall, passing them both with barely a glance.

"MASSSTTERRR!" he bellowed, bursting through the control-room door. Vermeil turned a wary eye to Meg.

"I locked him in the room! I swear!"

They both ran back inside to find GIR had already pulled a wire from his head and hooked it into the control panel. "I'll meet you soon, Master!" he cried, pushing buttons in every direction.

"I don't want this -- thing -- piloting my ship," Vermail growled, keeping a wide berth lest he be glomped again.

Sighing, Megami reached out to her little friend. "GIR, let's go--"

A yellow beacon began flashing in the upper-left corner of the monitor screen.

"Incoming transmission from Irken Nail Cutter number 7438," GIR stated, sounding too professional to be himself.

Placing hands on his hips, Vermeil wondered, "How can this ship receive Irken signals...?" He pushed a button and a series of hisses and harsh consonants began issuing over the intercom. Megami recognized it as the Irken language. Sensing she had no idea what was going on, Verm turned and explained, "It's a distress signal. They're frighteningly close to Nirvana's orbit, so they sent out a message only other Irken devices could receive..." Eyeing GIR with interest, he said, "I guess this little robot has some use after all..." Pointing at GIR he commanded, "Tell them to prepare for docking, and let them know that Vermeil is coming to assist them."

GIR did not react or even seem as if he heard Vermeil speak.

"Did you register that, SIR unit?!"

"You're not my Master!" GIR replied indignantly.

Rolling his eyes, Verm turned to Megami and gestured toward the robot.

"GIR... Could you please do as Vermeil asked?"

"Only if he dances for me!"

Vermeil's hands were suddenly fists. "WHAT?!"

"OO! OO! There's the ship!" GIR cried, pointing to a forlorn-looking dot on the outside viewer. Without further ado, he sent out the transmission as requested.

Megami let out a sigh of relief. This was going to be a long trip. She turned to see Vermeil holding a small device out to her. "It's a language translator. Clip it to the base of your antenna there. You'll need it, since you can't understand Irken..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A small band of five Irkens -- two women, two men and a child -- poured into the loading bay. The moment they set eyes on Vermeil, they lowered their heads in reverence. As their antennae wiggled a salute, a woman clasped her hands together and smiled.

"We're so happy you're safe, Taller Vermeil!" she cried, finally meeting his gaze.

His posture did not change. He towered over them all, showing obvious superiority. "What were you doing so close to Nirvana in such an ancient ship?" he demanded strictly.

"We heard you had been captured, and--"

"I don't need you to take care of me!" His eyes were like fire. "It was stupid of you to take such an unnecessary risk!"

All of the members of the band cowered in fear before him. He had barely blinked an eye, but it was as if he had slapped them all. Megami stood alongside, hands continually clasping and reclasping, in awe of the power he held over them. Membrane was a strong man full of strong words, but he had never been able to bring a room to a standstill with a simple glare.

Once he felt his subjects were sufficiently intimidated, Vermeil broke the silence. "What caused your ship to malfunction?"

"Our mechanic has failed to find the problem." A man answered, squinting his eyes at the child. He was incredibly young, barely knee-height; much too young for that type of responsibility in Megami's eyes.

"I'm -- sorry, Taller Vermeil..." the child whispered, lowering his eyes. Verm didn't acknowledge him; only turned on his heel and headed for the other ship.

Megami watched as they all filtered back through the tunnel.

"So, you're all specialists?"

"Yes, sir."

"And you only have one mechanic? A smeet?"

"Yes, sir. But--"

Their voices slowly faded. The child's face was a mask of shame. Megami looked him over, her heart filling with pity. "What's your name?" she asked, hoping to cheer him up a little.

Looking up impertinently, he cried, "I don't need to be phased out! I can do it! I HAVE done it!"

She got down on her knees before the child, smiling reassuringly. "I'm not going to do anything to you, sweetie... I just asked your name."

He looked curiously at her, wiping his hands on his sides. "They're going to phase me out, aren't they? I'm going to have my Pak reincoded."

Megami knew that the Irkens were often reassigned to new jobs if they weren't suited for a particular task; but to them, being reassigned was a horrible, lifechanging event they sought to avoid.

"Everyone makes mistakes, don't they? It's not so bad."

The child didn't quite understand her, which shouldn't have surprised Megami. The words of comfort meant nothing to a race that knew no comfort. She looked at his tiny hands. Who would rightly expect someone so small to take care of such a large job?

"Oh! You're hurt..."

Without even thinking, she reached out and took his claw, inspecting it closely. His palm was badly burned. It was an angry purple shade and was warm to the touch; a stark contrast from an Irkens' normally cool skin. With slight amusement, she noted the annoyance in the baby's face. He wanted to pull his hand away, but didn't... Perhaps because she was Vermeil's companion.

"It never did that before. I don't know what happened." His syes darted to the side and Megami turned to see Vermeil again in the doorway, the other Irkens behind him. He was looking at her strangely.

"I-- I'm sorry!" Meg cried, jumping to her feet. "I didn't meant to interfere-- It's just-- I noticed he was injured and--"

"Injured?" Vermeil asked, a curious lilt to his voice. He stepped forward, looking down on the child. "You have an injury?"

"It doesn't hurt! I didn't tell her I was burned, I swear--"

Again ignoring the child, he stooped down and took a close look at his hand. "Interesting. This should have healed by now." A line emerged from his Pak, connecting itself to the child's. After a moment of tense silence, he pulled back and turned to the other Irkens. "Gilz's Pak is defective." Folding his arms, he continued, "Half of his memory banks have failed and the diagnostic unit has overheated. No wonder he couldn't repair the ship! It's a wonder he even knows how to walk! Did none of you notice this?" When all they had to offer were guilty looks, he growled, "I see." Standing tall next to Megami, he said, "Do you all not understand!? These aren't the old days. We have to stick together -- help eachother -- in order to survive. Even the very shortest of us need to carry on! Or all of us will die. Your negligence of this smeet could have easily been all of your undoings!"

He looked them all over. None dared to speak.

"I want you all to take this ship back to Veloixs, and give the old man there this passcode --" An exchange of data between Vermeil's Pak and the Captain's-- "and destroy this ship as soon as you are about the enter orbit. Then -- I want this smeet's Pak REPAIRED."

"You're going to give us your ship, Taller Vermeil?"

He shrugged. "Sure. Yours is actually in decent shape, had any of you had the faculties to fix a simple warp transmission problem..." That said, he turned to Megami and smiled. "Shall we go, Nymph? I do hope you didn't get too attached to this hunk of junk..."

"Well-- I--"

"Or are you going to stay with them?" he grinned deviously, gesturing towards the other bewildered Irkens.

Shifting uncomfortably, Megami whispered, "Can I-- go get GIR first?"

Rolling his eyes, Vermeil groaned, "If you must."