Borealis: A Zutara Story
Part 1 Chapter 48
Chapter 48
Katara’s eyelids fluttered before parting. Zuko’s face was in front of hers. His eyes were still red. He was still lying on her right arm and leg. They were so numb she could no longer feel them tingling. Her left arm was trapped between Zuko’s right bicep and torso. Her left leg was still draped over Zuko’s hip; his right hand rested on her upper thigh where it started to curve into her bottom. His fingers were making idle circles on her skin.
“Let go of me.” She opened her mouth, but her voice was gone. All that came out was a croak.
“Zuko, let go of me. Let me get up. You’re hurting me. Get away. Why are you doing this?” rushed forward in her mind, but she could make no sounds. There was water on the other side of the room and she could call some to her, but the chamber pot was over there and she could end up pulling it from the wrong source for drinking.
She closed her mouth and licked her lips before trying to speak again. This time her words were scratchy but still inaudible, “Get.Up.”
Zuko saw Katara’s mouth moving and the look of determined anger on her face, but her words escaped him. “What?”
Katara frowned and took another deep breath. She ran her tongue around the inside of her dry mouth trying to generate enough spit to swallow. “GET.UP.”
“I can’t hear you Katara, what are you saying?” Zuko asked frowning in confusion.
She thought he was playing with her. He’d lied to her last night and every moment since she had been captured. This whole thing was probably one big game to him. He had a jealous fiancée on board, but he raped her. He was cruel. She began struggling against him, trying to get away.
“Be still, Katara. I need to think a moment longer. I’ll let you up once I’ve finished,” he explained while clamping his arm down over Katara’s limbs. He needed to figure out why he was feeling these strange things. He’d been taught that the best way to solve a problem was to study the source of his confusion. Katara and what lie between her legs was the source of his confusion. He needed to remain there a bit longer. He almost had the answer.
They were on the ocean; it was humid even in the lower decks of the ship. Katara flicked her wrist and pulled the water from the air then directed it between her lips. She was able to rasp “Get off me, bastard” before lapsing into a fit of harsh coughs. She pulled more water from the air and drank it to suppress them.
Zuko began patting Katara’s back when she was coughing and continued to do so when she stopped. He inhaled and exhaled deeply so he tried to explain himself, “I’m confused Katara. I don’t want to do this, but I have to do. I don’t like doing it, but it feels good. It’s not supposed to feel good even though I’m supposed to ejaculate. That’s why I wanted you to stop moving earlier. You made me want to be inside you, but I’m not supposed to want to be inside you.
“Intercourse only supposed to be something I have to do help you. I’m only supposed to want you when we’re sparring or talking or when I’m looking at you and when you’re smiling or angry. I’m not supposed to want you when you’re crying and hurting, especially if I’m the one making you cry and hurt. I’m confused because this isn’t how I’m supposed to feel. I just need a moment to sort out my feelings and I’ll get up and let you get cleaned up. Please be patient while I figure this out,” He pled desperately.
Katara heard “It feels good… you made me want to be inside of you…want to be inside you…want you…crying and hurting…especially if I’m the one making you cry and hurt”. She began squirming and twisting trying to push him away from her when he started yelling.
“Dammit Katara be still. Stop moving. You act like you want me to take you. Is that want you want? Be still. I’m trying to think but you’re distracting me!” Zuko yelled angrily.
Katara craned her neck forward and bit him at the junction between his neck and shoulder.
He shivered and rolled her over onto her back, “Katara stop, please stop. I like that. Be still and stop biting my neck. It feels good. I don’t want to feel good. I don’t want you to make me feel good, not this way. Please just stop. I need to think. Stop arousing me.”
She let go and Zuko sank down on top of her. “Thank you, Katara. Just let me lie here and think. You confuse me and I need to be close to you to figure out why. Please be still and let me think.”
Katara was angry. He blamed her. He said it was her fault he raped her. She hadn’t done anything wrong. It wasn’t her fault. It was never the woman’s fault. There was nothing a woman did to make a man rape her. Zuko was lying on top of her. His face was in the pillow beside her. She turned her head and bit him again. Harder. He was now fully on top of her and most of her limbs were asleep but she still had to try and dismount him.
Zuko inhaled sharply. Why the hell was being bitten such a turn on? Why was she moving again? “Katara! Stop moving woman! Do you want me to have sex with you?”
Zuko stared into her eyes, which had widened considerably. Maybe she did want him to have sex with her? He’d heard how some women say no when they mean yes, but his Uncle and Mom taught him that no always meant no in spite of what other nonsense he heard. But several of the women he’d overheard working in the teashop had mentioned not wanting to appear so easy so they protested and did other things to make the man work for it even though they wanted to have sex just as much. Maybe Katara was doing the same thing?
Maybe that’s why he was so confused and it felt good, because she wanted to but didn’t want him to know that she wanted to because good girls weren’t supposed to want to have sex until they were married. If that was the case then it was okay to have sex with her and for it to feel good while doing so. He wasn’t turning into a monster like Lord Asami and some of the other nobles. He was being a good man.
A good man was able to understand his woman’s needs and provide everything she desired even if she never spoke the words.
Satisfied that he had come up with a solution as to why he physically enjoyed being with her Zuko kissed her forehead and rolled off of her, “Thank you Katara, I’m not as confused now. I know that girls are taught to play hard to get, but you don’t have to do that with me. I won’t think less of you for wanting to be with me. You’re my concubine. Our relationship is supposed to have physical intimacy as well as friendship and affection. You don’t have to fight, I won’t think negatively of you for giving yourself to me without protest.”
Author’s Note: Thank you for reading.