Timmy Turner & The Red Headed Monster
Timmy's Breakfast
Timmy and Cosmo hugged each other, the boy knew he was loved. His parents also loved him, didn’t they? They hugged him, didn’t they? When he hugged them first, if they weren’t busy, if they were paying attention to him… if there was nothing good on TV, if the internet wasn’t down… if, if, if?
Cosmo’s ‘thing’ started to buzz. Timmy felt the vibration deep inside his own balls. He knew what was going to happen next. Cosmo began to pant, “Timmy, Timmy, oh Timmy.” Suddenly sparks of cool green electricity began to surround the two of them. Timmy’s hair was standing on end. Cosmo panted faster, “Jorgen, oh my God, Joooooorrrr…” a blast of flame erupted. Timmy’s hair was dancing the hula and suddenly he was pelted by confetti blasting out of Cosmo’s thing (dick, cock, barber pole, sausage, wiener, whatever), traveling up Timmy’s belly slapping him in the face and filling the air. “Oh BinkyBinkyBinkyBink-eeeeee-eeee-eeeee.” The confetti turned into green bubbles. Timmy’s hair stopped hulaing and was at the buffet table. “Here it comes” Timmy thought and held on tighter. Cosmo screamed “Philip, fill me up, Phillip!” Cosmo moaned his approaching orgasm, “Oh, Timmy’s dad!” There was moisture in the air, a smell of earthiness and suddenly a stream of Cosmo’s warm, whitish viscous fluid began to spurt on to Timmy’s own erect little dicklet. It spread onto his legs and belly. The stream began to flood and spillover its banks. The dike burst and became a river, then a tidal wave. Timmy closed his eyes as a fire hose of warmth hit him directly in the face. It smelled like… It felt like… It looked like… It was… Cream of Mushroom Soup. Warm, tasty, nutritious and fresh cream of mushroom soup.Timmy began to swallow. Cosmo picked small mushroom pieces out of Timmy’s hair and ate them.
Cream of mushroom soup is not most people’s idea of breakfast but it was better than anything he would get from his Mom. She could open a brand new box of cold cereal and it would turn to ashes and sand before it hit the bowl. Fresh milk in her kitchen had a salty taste and a greenish color. She told Timmy that this was special milk and good for him. It would never go bad. Actually it could spoil, but since dog’s milk tasted the same fresh as it did spoiled, it didn’t matter. Additional Timmy’s Mom’s cooking punchlines:
His mother had to write down the recipe for ice.
Of course hamburger contains beaks and talons.
Don’t eat the decorative wax fruit, microwave it first.
Food fried in10-W-40 is healthier then vegetable oil. It keeps your colon clean and running smoothly for 5,000 miles!
(Insert your own joke here)
Timmy licked up the last of his cream of Cosmo…err, cream of mushroom soup from his lips. He giggled as Cosmo licked the last of the soup from the rest of Timmy’s body. Sometimes breakfast was more unpleasant. Timmy had screamed the time he thought Cosmo was bleeding to death (it turned out to be cream of tomato soup). Timmy’s parents thought he had smallpox after Cosmo had shot him with split pea soup. Timmy didn’t like to think about the ‘she crab soup incident’.
Anyway, Cosmo poofed Timmy and himself clean and into their clothes as they finally drifted back on the mattress. Timmy glanced out the window.