Dethklok: Growing Dethpains
folder
+M through R › Metalocalypse
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
8
Views:
1,265
Reviews:
1
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
+M through R › Metalocalypse
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
8
Views:
1,265
Reviews:
1
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Metalocalypse. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Woo Hoo!
Days pass...
"Tokis," says Skwisgaar slowly while strumming his guitar. The Scandinavians were both in the communal band hot tub, Toki on his laptop.
"Yeah, whats?"
"Has you been playings my guitar?"
"No," Toki answers, pecking away at the keyboard.
"Dis guitar is out of tune. It's tuned all dildoes like hows you tunes yours."
"I don't tune like dildoes, my guitar is rockin!," Toki protests.
"Hah! You been tryings to play my guitar. Thinks you can bes as good as me? Pffft, what a laugh!"
"That's not....oooh, you being an assholes, Skwisgaar!. Seriously."
"I may bes assholes, but I's still faster and better than you."
"Shut ups!" Both guitarist glared at one another as the bubbles floated around in the heated water.
Suddenly the slap of narrow bare feet sounded along with a loug "Yeeeee haaaaa!," then a raven-haired streak cannonballed into the hot tub.
"Shit!," both guitarists shout. It was a bathing-suit clad Judy flopping noisily about in the water, soaking Toki and Skwisgaar and their toys. "Yeah baby, yeahhhhh baybay!," she was yelping in her Georgia accent, clearly enjoying the hell of out herself.
"Are you demon posessed, Judys Hotpants?," inquires Skwisgaar, shaking water out of his ear.
"She's very...energetics alot, isn't she Nathans?," Toki asks the frontman.
"She's a teenager," offers Nathan, beer in hand. "Plus I think Skwisgaar might be right. I believe I have another grey hair."
The lass continued splashing and carrying on, and Skwisgaar chuckled. "She is kinda funnys...Hey, don't splashes me with my guitar...hey now..." Judy slipped his practice guitar over his head and made off with it, sitting it on the floor, then heaved more water at him.
Soon there was more water on the floor than in the hot tub.
"Somebody give her some horse tranquilizers," Pickles suggests, taking a swig of his bottle of whiskey. "What the hell, man?"
"Jean-Pierre let me have some cake...and some mocha cappuccino, and a cupcake, and some truffles," says Judy.
"Holy crap," breathes Pickles. "Where does she put it all?"
"I think I'm finding it," complained Nathan, poking his soft middle. "Fatherhood is fuckin hard."
Skwisgaar finally had enough of the girl's shenanigans and dunked her under the water, her strong limbs splashing even more. She came up spluttering and indignant, "Shit fuck shit fuck piss on you Skwisgaar you cockgobbler!"
"Damn that's harsh," said Murderface. One hazel eye sported a beautiful shiner from the tussle he had the other day with her. "Who taught her that?"
"You did, dumbass," Nathan spoke.
"Oh yeah."
Ofdensen entered the soaked room, cocked an eyebrow, and looked round at each of them. "Just figured I'd inform you of the short US tour you'll be going on two days from now. Might wanna rehearse and get your setlist made up."
"Come gets in the hot tubs," invites an unusually jovial Skwisgaar. "Schoolgirl is hopped up on sugars and caffieens. She's housebrokens though. Hopefullys."
"She better not pees in here, I's right beside her!," declared Toki.
"Ah, no thank you. Guess I better get some staff with mops up here..."
*splash*
"Hmm. Maybe later," and the manager turned on his heel and exited.
Deep in the Revengencers secret lair, a televison was on. A commercial played, with Murderface standing with his arms crossed. "Want all the pleasure and none of the risk?," he was saying in his lisp. "Try the new Dethklok Dethkondoms, the strongest condoms on the market today! You can buy regular, or spike studded...for your pleasure." The three figures watching said nothing, but their eyes danced in slient anger. One was in a wheelchair, one was a tall kid with a skin mask, and the other was an assassin with a metal mask. They were united in one purpose: to exact vengeance upon Dethklok.
Peppy news music sounded after the commercial with a female reporter announcing the Dethklok News Minute. "Who is this mystery girl?," the reporter was saying, after a blurry still photo of a young woman spotted on the grounds of Mordhaus. "Some are saying she's a very young girlfriend of one of the members, others are saying she could possibly be a child of one of them due to her youth, and yet other sources deny there's a young lady there at all."
"Interesting," mused the bespectacled man in the wheelchair.
Nathan decided to check up on his daughter, and peeked his head in the doorway to see what she might be doing. She was prancing and posing in front of the full-length mirror in her room, making faces and singing to herself. "Judy. Judy Explosion," she said, pretending to announce her name. "It's Judy Explosion! Yeahh!," she jumped up and down started banging her head like mad. A twinkle came to Nathan's piercing eyes, softening his sharp-angled face. She wasn't so bad, once you got to know her. Her energy and charm were infectious, that's for sure.
"Tokis," says Skwisgaar slowly while strumming his guitar. The Scandinavians were both in the communal band hot tub, Toki on his laptop.
"Yeah, whats?"
"Has you been playings my guitar?"
"No," Toki answers, pecking away at the keyboard.
"Dis guitar is out of tune. It's tuned all dildoes like hows you tunes yours."
"I don't tune like dildoes, my guitar is rockin!," Toki protests.
"Hah! You been tryings to play my guitar. Thinks you can bes as good as me? Pffft, what a laugh!"
"That's not....oooh, you being an assholes, Skwisgaar!. Seriously."
"I may bes assholes, but I's still faster and better than you."
"Shut ups!" Both guitarist glared at one another as the bubbles floated around in the heated water.
Suddenly the slap of narrow bare feet sounded along with a loug "Yeeeee haaaaa!," then a raven-haired streak cannonballed into the hot tub.
"Shit!," both guitarists shout. It was a bathing-suit clad Judy flopping noisily about in the water, soaking Toki and Skwisgaar and their toys. "Yeah baby, yeahhhhh baybay!," she was yelping in her Georgia accent, clearly enjoying the hell of out herself.
"Are you demon posessed, Judys Hotpants?," inquires Skwisgaar, shaking water out of his ear.
"She's very...energetics alot, isn't she Nathans?," Toki asks the frontman.
"She's a teenager," offers Nathan, beer in hand. "Plus I think Skwisgaar might be right. I believe I have another grey hair."
The lass continued splashing and carrying on, and Skwisgaar chuckled. "She is kinda funnys...Hey, don't splashes me with my guitar...hey now..." Judy slipped his practice guitar over his head and made off with it, sitting it on the floor, then heaved more water at him.
Soon there was more water on the floor than in the hot tub.
"Somebody give her some horse tranquilizers," Pickles suggests, taking a swig of his bottle of whiskey. "What the hell, man?"
"Jean-Pierre let me have some cake...and some mocha cappuccino, and a cupcake, and some truffles," says Judy.
"Holy crap," breathes Pickles. "Where does she put it all?"
"I think I'm finding it," complained Nathan, poking his soft middle. "Fatherhood is fuckin hard."
Skwisgaar finally had enough of the girl's shenanigans and dunked her under the water, her strong limbs splashing even more. She came up spluttering and indignant, "Shit fuck shit fuck piss on you Skwisgaar you cockgobbler!"
"Damn that's harsh," said Murderface. One hazel eye sported a beautiful shiner from the tussle he had the other day with her. "Who taught her that?"
"You did, dumbass," Nathan spoke.
"Oh yeah."
Ofdensen entered the soaked room, cocked an eyebrow, and looked round at each of them. "Just figured I'd inform you of the short US tour you'll be going on two days from now. Might wanna rehearse and get your setlist made up."
"Come gets in the hot tubs," invites an unusually jovial Skwisgaar. "Schoolgirl is hopped up on sugars and caffieens. She's housebrokens though. Hopefullys."
"She better not pees in here, I's right beside her!," declared Toki.
"Ah, no thank you. Guess I better get some staff with mops up here..."
*splash*
"Hmm. Maybe later," and the manager turned on his heel and exited.
Deep in the Revengencers secret lair, a televison was on. A commercial played, with Murderface standing with his arms crossed. "Want all the pleasure and none of the risk?," he was saying in his lisp. "Try the new Dethklok Dethkondoms, the strongest condoms on the market today! You can buy regular, or spike studded...for your pleasure." The three figures watching said nothing, but their eyes danced in slient anger. One was in a wheelchair, one was a tall kid with a skin mask, and the other was an assassin with a metal mask. They were united in one purpose: to exact vengeance upon Dethklok.
Peppy news music sounded after the commercial with a female reporter announcing the Dethklok News Minute. "Who is this mystery girl?," the reporter was saying, after a blurry still photo of a young woman spotted on the grounds of Mordhaus. "Some are saying she's a very young girlfriend of one of the members, others are saying she could possibly be a child of one of them due to her youth, and yet other sources deny there's a young lady there at all."
"Interesting," mused the bespectacled man in the wheelchair.
Nathan decided to check up on his daughter, and peeked his head in the doorway to see what she might be doing. She was prancing and posing in front of the full-length mirror in her room, making faces and singing to herself. "Judy. Judy Explosion," she said, pretending to announce her name. "It's Judy Explosion! Yeahh!," she jumped up and down started banging her head like mad. A twinkle came to Nathan's piercing eyes, softening his sharp-angled face. She wasn't so bad, once you got to know her. Her energy and charm were infectious, that's for sure.