Movie Parodies: South Park Style
folder
+S through Z › South Park
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
13
Views:
4,950
Reviews:
7
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
+S through Z › South Park
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
13
Views:
4,950
Reviews:
7
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own South Park, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Colorado Pie
Colorado Pie
WARNING: This chapter, although rated PG-13, makes mild hints to adult-themed material. I will keep this edited to be as clean as possible. However, it is hard to parody "American Pie" and not have some innuendos. So, no children under 13, please.
A/N: The characters are not playing the characters in "American Pie". The bottom list is just so the readers are supposed to know who matches what AP character personality-wise. That way, confusion can be avoided. Oh, and American Pie and the characters briefly named below are not mine. There.
Kyle Broflovski (as "Jim")
Stan Marsh (as "Oz")
Bebe Stevens (as "Michelle")
Rebecca Cotswald (as "Nadia")
Kenny McCornick (as "Kevin")
Pip (as "Finch")
Eric Cartman (as "Stifler")
Wendy Testaburger (as "Heather")
Kelly, Kenny's GF (as "Vicki")
Butters Stotch (as "Sherman")
Mrs. Cartman (as "Stifler's mom")
Jordan AKA Redhead girl (as "Jessica")
Mr. Broflovski (as... who else? "Jim's Dad")
(Scene: Some party at Clyde's place. All the guys, all of which are high school age, are there. They are all single, except for Kenny, who is hanging out with his girlfriend, Kelly.)
KELLY: I love you.
KENNY: Cool. Can we go upstairw?
w?
KYLE: (to Stan) Whoa, dude. Check it out! Rebecca drinking beer in the corner and looking HOT.
STAN: Dude, don't try it. She's a nasty slut.
KYLE: I'm making my move.
(He does so, only to make an ass out of himself when he trips over something, injuring his knee, and causing Rebecca to burst into laughter. Kyle furiously looks to see what he tripped over and sees that it's Cartman, completely plastered and lying on the floor, barely conscious.)
KYLE: Goddamnit.
(Next Morning. Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Pip are sitting around, discussing women and what it means to be a high school senior and still be a virgin when Butters comes downstairs with a fat chick. (no offense to anyone reading this who's slightly... stocky) They hug and Butters gasps as the girl's grip nearly crushes his ribs. He sends the girl off and greets the four boys, all of whom are watching, incredulous.)
BUTTERS: Wh-why, fellas. I-I am now a man. I a-am no longer a boy. N-now, I'm a man. (walks out.)
KENNY: That does it. (stands up on the couch, speaking to Stan, Kyle, and Clyde.) It is time for us to do something. For too long now, we have gotten no deviant action from members of the female race. It's time to step up to the plate and hit a home run. It is time for us to become men. We will get laid!
S/K/P: Amen!
KENNY: And it has to happen on Prom night.
PIP: Oh, interesting. Why prom night?
KENNY: Uh...Shut up, Pip!
PIP: Right-O then.
(Kenny, still mildly drunk and thus clumsy, falls off the couch, and smashes his skull open on the hardwood floor.)
STAN: Oh my god, they killed Kenny.
KYLE: You bastard!
(Kyle's House. His dad is talking to him about... something. I don't know what. I would be more accurate in terms of detail about this, but honestly, every time Jim's dad appeared in the actual movie, I fell asleep listening to him talk, so let's skip this part.)
(School Hallway. Kelly is talking to Jordan.)
KELLY: I don't know what to do. All Kenny wants is sex, and he ht sat said "I love you" back to me, yet.
JORDAN: Look, it's simple. If you want the L word, then give him a piece of ass. Trust me, he'll be saying it when you do.
(Kyle's house, Kyle's bedroom. The door opens and Rebecca walks in.)
REBECCA: Hello, Kyle. Wanna study? (flashes him)
KYLE: Boy, do I!
(They fool around for a bit, and then Kyle loses control. He... reacts too soon, before they even do anything serious.)
REBECCA: (sighs) I'll go find Pip and see if he's better then you.
KYLE: Aw, dude, weak!
(Scene: Cartman's House, following the Prom. Kyle is with his date, Bebe. Stan is with Wendy. Kenny with Kelly. Pip has no date since a month before the prom, Cartman slipped heavy meds into his drink and, after Pip's fart attacks, which closed down the school for three weeks, all the girls were too scared to go to the prom with him. All of the boys, except for Pip, are with their dates, enjoying their prom night, if ya know what I mean...)
(Bedroom. Kyle and Bebe are on the verge, but first...)
BEBE: Say (SLAP) my (SLAP) name (SLAP SLAP) bitch! (SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP)
KYLE: Ok, uh, Willow.... No, wait... give me a second... It's uh, Michelle... No, that's not right... let me see, what was it again... uh... it was, uh... um...Bebe! Yes, of course. How could I have forgotten?
(Billiard Room. Pip enters and sees Mrs. Cartman.)
PIP: Wow, you're a MILF.
MRS. CARTMAN: What's a MILF?
PIP: Mother In Love with Fucking.
MRS. CARTMAN: Ooh. You wanna?
(Billiard Room. Cartman forces the door open and discovers Pip and his mother... conversing.)
CARTMAN: You sick son of a bitch! What the hell are ya doing to my mom?!
PIP: Oh, dear goodness!
CARTMAN: I'm gonna kick you in da NUTZ!
PIP: Oh, woe is me!
MRS. CARTMAN: Oh, shut up, Pip!
PIP: (running for dear life from Cartman) Right... (trips, and, while he's down, gets his nuts kicked repeatedly by Cartman's left foot) Ooooooooooooooooooo, me giggleberries!!
MRS. CARTMAN: Shut up, Pip!
(Kenny and Kelly's room. Kelly is fixing her hair.)
KENNY: I love you.
KELLY: With us going to distant colleges next year, it's not gonna work. We should break up.
KENNY: What?! You mean I went all of this for nothing?! Goddamnit! (pauses) Oh, wait. It wasn't all for nothing. (grins lewdly)
(Minutes Later. Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Pip are comparing notes.)
STAN: Butters never got it that night. It turns out that the chick he was with tried it with him, but ended up damaging something very important in the process with her bulk. I got some tonight though. How about you guys?
KENNY: Yep.
KYLE: Yep.
PIP: Right-O.
KENNY: Shut up, Pip.
PIP: Right-O.
NEXT: The Crow.
WARNING: This chapter, although rated PG-13, makes mild hints to adult-themed material. I will keep this edited to be as clean as possible. However, it is hard to parody "American Pie" and not have some innuendos. So, no children under 13, please.
A/N: The characters are not playing the characters in "American Pie". The bottom list is just so the readers are supposed to know who matches what AP character personality-wise. That way, confusion can be avoided. Oh, and American Pie and the characters briefly named below are not mine. There.
Kyle Broflovski (as "Jim")
Stan Marsh (as "Oz")
Bebe Stevens (as "Michelle")
Rebecca Cotswald (as "Nadia")
Kenny McCornick (as "Kevin")
Pip (as "Finch")
Eric Cartman (as "Stifler")
Wendy Testaburger (as "Heather")
Kelly, Kenny's GF (as "Vicki")
Butters Stotch (as "Sherman")
Mrs. Cartman (as "Stifler's mom")
Jordan AKA Redhead girl (as "Jessica")
Mr. Broflovski (as... who else? "Jim's Dad")
(Scene: Some party at Clyde's place. All the guys, all of which are high school age, are there. They are all single, except for Kenny, who is hanging out with his girlfriend, Kelly.)
KELLY: I love you.
KENNY: Cool. Can we go upstairw?
w?
KYLE: (to Stan) Whoa, dude. Check it out! Rebecca drinking beer in the corner and looking HOT.
STAN: Dude, don't try it. She's a nasty slut.
KYLE: I'm making my move.
(He does so, only to make an ass out of himself when he trips over something, injuring his knee, and causing Rebecca to burst into laughter. Kyle furiously looks to see what he tripped over and sees that it's Cartman, completely plastered and lying on the floor, barely conscious.)
KYLE: Goddamnit.
(Next Morning. Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Pip are sitting around, discussing women and what it means to be a high school senior and still be a virgin when Butters comes downstairs with a fat chick. (no offense to anyone reading this who's slightly... stocky) They hug and Butters gasps as the girl's grip nearly crushes his ribs. He sends the girl off and greets the four boys, all of whom are watching, incredulous.)
BUTTERS: Wh-why, fellas. I-I am now a man. I a-am no longer a boy. N-now, I'm a man. (walks out.)
KENNY: That does it. (stands up on the couch, speaking to Stan, Kyle, and Clyde.) It is time for us to do something. For too long now, we have gotten no deviant action from members of the female race. It's time to step up to the plate and hit a home run. It is time for us to become men. We will get laid!
S/K/P: Amen!
KENNY: And it has to happen on Prom night.
PIP: Oh, interesting. Why prom night?
KENNY: Uh...Shut up, Pip!
PIP: Right-O then.
(Kenny, still mildly drunk and thus clumsy, falls off the couch, and smashes his skull open on the hardwood floor.)
STAN: Oh my god, they killed Kenny.
KYLE: You bastard!
(Kyle's House. His dad is talking to him about... something. I don't know what. I would be more accurate in terms of detail about this, but honestly, every time Jim's dad appeared in the actual movie, I fell asleep listening to him talk, so let's skip this part.)
(School Hallway. Kelly is talking to Jordan.)
KELLY: I don't know what to do. All Kenny wants is sex, and he ht sat said "I love you" back to me, yet.
JORDAN: Look, it's simple. If you want the L word, then give him a piece of ass. Trust me, he'll be saying it when you do.
(Kyle's house, Kyle's bedroom. The door opens and Rebecca walks in.)
REBECCA: Hello, Kyle. Wanna study? (flashes him)
KYLE: Boy, do I!
(They fool around for a bit, and then Kyle loses control. He... reacts too soon, before they even do anything serious.)
REBECCA: (sighs) I'll go find Pip and see if he's better then you.
KYLE: Aw, dude, weak!
(Scene: Cartman's House, following the Prom. Kyle is with his date, Bebe. Stan is with Wendy. Kenny with Kelly. Pip has no date since a month before the prom, Cartman slipped heavy meds into his drink and, after Pip's fart attacks, which closed down the school for three weeks, all the girls were too scared to go to the prom with him. All of the boys, except for Pip, are with their dates, enjoying their prom night, if ya know what I mean...)
(Bedroom. Kyle and Bebe are on the verge, but first...)
BEBE: Say (SLAP) my (SLAP) name (SLAP SLAP) bitch! (SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP)
KYLE: Ok, uh, Willow.... No, wait... give me a second... It's uh, Michelle... No, that's not right... let me see, what was it again... uh... it was, uh... um...Bebe! Yes, of course. How could I have forgotten?
(Billiard Room. Pip enters and sees Mrs. Cartman.)
PIP: Wow, you're a MILF.
MRS. CARTMAN: What's a MILF?
PIP: Mother In Love with Fucking.
MRS. CARTMAN: Ooh. You wanna?
(Billiard Room. Cartman forces the door open and discovers Pip and his mother... conversing.)
CARTMAN: You sick son of a bitch! What the hell are ya doing to my mom?!
PIP: Oh, dear goodness!
CARTMAN: I'm gonna kick you in da NUTZ!
PIP: Oh, woe is me!
MRS. CARTMAN: Oh, shut up, Pip!
PIP: (running for dear life from Cartman) Right... (trips, and, while he's down, gets his nuts kicked repeatedly by Cartman's left foot) Ooooooooooooooooooo, me giggleberries!!
MRS. CARTMAN: Shut up, Pip!
(Kenny and Kelly's room. Kelly is fixing her hair.)
KENNY: I love you.
KELLY: With us going to distant colleges next year, it's not gonna work. We should break up.
KENNY: What?! You mean I went all of this for nothing?! Goddamnit! (pauses) Oh, wait. It wasn't all for nothing. (grins lewdly)
(Minutes Later. Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Pip are comparing notes.)
STAN: Butters never got it that night. It turns out that the chick he was with tried it with him, but ended up damaging something very important in the process with her bulk. I got some tonight though. How about you guys?
KENNY: Yep.
KYLE: Yep.
PIP: Right-O.
KENNY: Shut up, Pip.
PIP: Right-O.
NEXT: The Crow.