The Mordhaus Metal Maid

One evening,deep within the cavernous halls of Mordhaus, I was busy attempting to clean Nathan's closet. After skillfully dodging his goddamn suit of armor from nearly falling on me, my Dethphone suddenly started ringing, "You're here because you're one of us. We are the strength, we are soldiers." Startled, I leaned back against the wall, digging in my pocket for my Dethphone. Pulling it out finally, I held it up to my ear, "Hello??" I heard the panicked but excited voice of my friend, Trisha, who was quite the experienced Dethcopter pilot here at Mordhaus. "Dude, Mistress, ya better get down here to the Rec Room fuckin quick! Nathan and Pickles are fighting again!!" I face-palmed and sighed, "Now what??" She just laughed shakily,"I dunno, dude, but I think I heard Pickles making fun of Nathan and talkin about ya...I think Nathan got pissed the fuck off about that...just get down here before they kill each other!!" I sighed in exasperation, "Fine, dude, I'm on my way...just..eh...don't get in between em...I kinda like ya alive!" With that, I hung up and hurried down the hallway to the Rec Room as quick as I could.

Upon entering the now rather trashed Rec Room, I suddenly had to quickly and skillfully dodge an incoming beer bottle, now hearing Nathan roaring out in fury, "HEY...fucker!! Watch where...ya throw your shit, man!!. Ya almost hit my...uhh...maid chick...yea." I then heard Pickles laugh out drunkenly, "Feck you, ya idiot! It didnin even come near her, dood! Ya feckin blind or somethin??" I soon saw Nathan stomp over to Pickles, roaring out again in rage, "I'm gonna fuckin..seriously...fuck your world..up,dude...just watch me!!!" Pickles laughed again darkly,"Feck you, Tanto...Ya can't do shit ta me, dood!!" Before I could move a muscle however, I was gently pushed aside by Mr. Ofdensen, who had just entered the room. Me and Trisha both turned to again watch as Nathan and Pickles now started trading drunken blows to each other, each yelling obscenities to the other. Trisha was standing next to me, trying her hardest not to laugh. What we saw next, though, nearly shocked the hell out of us. Charles had suddenly gotten in between the boys, calmly stating, "Now, boys..you both need to settle down...or else." Both boys suddenly rounded on Charles, their fists poised to strike their manager with angered, drunken yells in unison of, "Fuck you, Robot!!" "Yeh..Feck you, Afdensen!! Git teh feck outta here!!" Still frozen in shock, we watched as Charles calmly pulled out two tazers from both his suit pockets and shot out with both arms to taze both boys at the same time in one fluid motion.

Our eyes widened in amused horror as Pickles first dropped to the floor, shrieking manically, "Don't taze me, dood!!!", before passing out cold. Followed soon by an earth shattering crash as the huge singer also collapsed in pain, roaring out an angered, "What the...FUCK!??!", before he too passed out. Charles calmly re-pocketed both tazers and nodded to us as he swept out of the room wordlessly. Both Trisha and me looked at each other in awe at Charles' actions before going to each of our respective charges to check for pulses. Reassured that they were still alive, me and Trisha both called for back up to haul the boy's comatose forms from the Rec Room. I stood next to Trisha as Pickles' guards came in first, hauling up the drummer's limp form. Trisha giggled, "I better make sure he makes it back in one fuckin piece...god, that was fuckin awesome!!" I nodded back at her, giggling out softly, seeing Nathan's guards coming in now, also preparing to haul the massive, comatose singer back to his room, "Now, THAT, Trisha...was the ultimate in brutality...total fuckin...shock and awe!" Trisha nodded back in dark amusement and we high-fived, "Fuck ya, dude...see ya tomorrow!!" With that, we both departed from the room, following our respective Dethklok boy back to their rooms as they slept on in blissful unconsciousness.

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