Kiss Me, It's Beginning to Snow

DECEMBER 25, 1996, 6:00 P.M. GMT

"Wanna pull my cracker, Lex?"

"Pull your what?" Lexington jolted upright in his chair.

"Cracker." Staghart held up a brightly colored thing that had been placed by each plate at the dinner table that looked like a large piece of wrapped candy. Small explosions were going off as other gargoyles pulled their crackers apart. "British tradition. You grab one end, I grab the other, we pull on three." Lex grabbed one end of the cracker. "Ready? One, two, three!" There was a loud "Bang!" as they pulled it apart. Staghart shook out the contents. "I never could wear hats." Staghart said as he unfolded a crown of gilt paper. "Antlers, you know. Here." He put it on Lex's head. "You can be my king."

"Or queen." Lex said with a smile. "What else is in there?"

"Eh, the usual. A few sweeties. Looks like the gift is a kazoo. You want it?" Lex contemplated the kazoo for a minute before playing a couple bars of "Jingle Bells" on it. Staghart unfolded a bit of paper that came with the cracker and smiled as he read it. "Say, Lex? Why did the duck cross the road?"

"Um...because it was fucking the chicken?"

"They don't put dirty jokes in crackers, silly!" Staghart gave him a tap on the arm.

"Alright, then, because it was the chicken's day off?"

"No, it wanted to 'quack' open the ice!"

"That was terrible."

"I know. Let's open yours." They pulled the cracker by Lex's plate apart. Instead of a paper hat there was a pair of plastic clip-on earrings shaped like snowflakes. "Ooh! Put 'em on me!" Staghart volunteered, bringing his head down so Lex could reach his ears. Lex had to giggle at the sight of snowflakes dangling from Staghart's ears. "I've been toying with the idea of getting one pierced. Maybe the right one, like Elton John did. What else is in there?"

"Some candy." Lex placed a few bits of candy next to his plate. "And, hey, a little plastic gargoyle!" Lex looked at it. "It's the one from that movie Disney made about /The Hunchback of Notre Dame/."

"Ah, yes." Staghart looked at it. "That's the one called Hugo, I believe."

"You saw the movie too? Here, you can have it." Lex gave him the toy.

"Oh, look! It winds up!" Staghart wound up the toy and watched the plastic gargoyle move by flipping its arms. Lex found a piece of paper in the cracker with a joke written on it. "What do you get," he read. "When you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?" /Oh, please don't give Sevarius any ideas!/

"I haven't the faintest."

"A woolly jumper." Lex read. "I don't get it."

"A jumper is another word for sweater."

"Oh. The joke still sucks."

"Christmas cracker jokes often do." Staghart looked at the candies that came out of his cracker. "I never fancied the orange flavored ones. You want it?"

"Sure! And you can have my cherry." Lex blushed as soon as he realized what he said. "Uh...I mean...uh....."

"Dinner time!" Una anounced.

After dinner, there was a party where Castor and Pollux served as DJ's. "Merry Christmas, Knight's Spur!" they shouted into the mike as colored lights twirled about the dimly lit room. Brenda Lee's "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" started playing. "Oi! Pollux!" yelled Castor. "Don't tell me you're playing that naff bit of cack!"

"Sorry, Castor!" Pollux stopped the CD player and put in a new one. The Sex Pistols' "Punk Rock Christmas" filled the room.

"Mulled wine?" Staghart offered him a cup and took a sip, trying to decide if he liked the taste. He tried to think of something to say. "So, um, I like the way they decorated the tree." He was standing next to a grandly decorated pine.

"You know why there's a fairy on top the tree, Lex?" asked Staghart.

"I have a feeling you're going to tell me."

"Well, as the story goes, St. Nicholas was having a bad day one Christmas Eve. The elves were on strike. The missus was nagging him for being away for the holidays. The reindeer got in the sherry and wrecked the sleigh. And on top of everything, the Christmas fairy he sent out hours ago to get a tree wasn't back yet. Just then, the fairy showed up with a tree and said 'I got your tree, fat man! Where should I stick it?'" Lex had to laugh.

"Right!" Castor spoke into the mike. "The adults want us to play something 'nice', so we're playing a bit of that Mariah Carey."

"Oi, Castor!" said Pollux. "What do you call a blind reindeer?"

"No eye deer!" Castor said with a shrug.

"Exactly!" said Pollux as the audience gave a mix of groans and polite chuckles. "What do you call a reindeer with no eyes and no legs?"

"Still no eye deer!" replied Castor.

"Hey Lex," Staghart whispered. "What do you call two monkeys at the bottom of the ocean? A good start!" Lex laughed as "All I Want For Christmas Is You" started playing. He started when a tickle on his tail made his spine shiver.

"Uh? Amp? Is that your wing?"

"Oh, terribly sorry. Has a mind of its own sometimes." He let a hand steal to Lex's shoulder.

"Um...I think I need another drink."

"You don't want too much of that. It's pretty strong."

"I just want you for my own," Mariah Carey sang. "More than you could ever know. Make my wish come true! Baby, all I want for Christmas is you!" As the song played, Staghart's fingers stole under Lex's chin and made him look up at him. Lex looked into dancing blue eyes and was sure the whole room could hear his heart pounding.

"Staghart!" There was no hiding the disappointment in Staghart's eyes as an older female called his name. Lexington looked up to see a female gargoyle in a berry red gown. She looked like an amber colored doe with black flecks on her neck and back and flecks of gray about her muzzle. A jeweled choker accentuated the white stripe on her throat. "Staghart, darling, introduce me to your little friend! I've heard so much about him. Lexington, is it?"

/Little friend?/ Lex thought, fighting the urge to roll his eyes.

"Lexington," said Staghart. "This is Ayala. I believe I told you about her."

"Uh, nice to meet you ma'am." Lex offered his hand.

"Charmed, darling." she said, taking it. "And don't call me ma'am. That's for old ladies. Come, I want to show you something!" Ayala ushered Lex over to a wall as Staghart gave him an apologetic look and followed. She showed them a large photo collage posted up on the wall. "Una, Patience and I made this for the holidays." The cardboard letters above the collage spelled out "Days of Christmas Past". "We have scads of photos collected over the years." said Ayala. "Some dating back as far back as 1900. Here's one of me and Una! Christmas of 1928."

If it hadn't been for the tapering horn on her head, Lex would've never believed the adolescent gargoyle decked in beads was Una. Young Ayala was wearing a beaded mini-dress and several strands of beads and a feathered headband.Ayala looked like she was teaching Una a new dance step. "What are you wearing?" Lex asked.

"Oh, the flapper look was in at the time." said Ayala. "My Columban told me I looked like Clara Bow with wings! Oh, here's one of Staghart!"

"Oh, don't show him that!" Staghart groaned.

Lex couldn't help smiling at the photo of a white fawn in dungarees playing with his new toy. "Is that a Dalek?" Lexington asked, pointing.

"Yes." Staghart said with a fond smile. "I pretty much grew up with /Doctor Who/. When was this taken? 1970?" Ayala nodded. "Yes, Jon Pertwee was the Doctor then."

"Oh, I remember!" said Ayala. "I remember you and Constance would hide behind the sofa whenever the monster of the week came on!"

"Ayala!" Staghart groaned.

Lex noticed a very old black and white photo of a young avian gargoyle napping by the Christmas tree. A large, draconian beast was snuggled next to him, as if to watch over him. "Is that who I think it is?" Lex pointed at the photo.

"Oh, that's a very rare photo of Griff as a hatchling." said Ayala. "Back in those days, you had to sit still to take a good picture and Griff didn't like that much. The beast is Hepzibah, the last of our beasts. She was from Pog's generation. Died not long after Griff re-appeared from his jaunt in time travel."

"Oh." Lex suddenly realized why Griff had been so sad when he admitted the clan had no beasts.

"We had a snowball fight earlier that evening." said Ayala. "Someone decided to start throwing pine cones. Poor Griff got one in the eye. Got a nasty scratch on his cornea."

"Ouch." Lex said sympathetically.

"Cornelius was our mage at the time." Ayala continued. "Managed to save the eye and gave Griff something to calm him down. Fell asleep on the floor next to Hepzibah. It was just so cute, Cornelius had to get out his Brownie to capture it."

"His Brownie?" asked Lex, thinking of a chocolate cake treat.

"A type of camera used then."

"Hey, where's Amp?" Lex suddenly realized he wasn't there.

"Lexington," Ayala grabbed his shoulder and looked at him intently. "Listen, Staghart has had his heart broken once. I don't think he could take it again."

"Ayala...." Lex had no idea what to say to a concerned mother. "I gotta go find him."

He saw him across the room, talking to Castor and Pollux. The twins were looking a bit annoyed at whatever he was saying, but finally nodded in agreement with whatever he was asking. He saw Lex and smiled. Both made their way across the crowded room to get to each other. "Right," Pollux (or Castor?) said into the mike. "Against our better judgment, we're playin' some Boyzone by request." Many young females in the room started screaming. The other twin rolled his eyes and put in the CD.

"A little confession I have to make." Staghart said, running hands over Lex's shoulders. "I'm a Boyzone fan. Care to dance?" Boyzone's cover of "Words" began to play.

"Uh...you sure that's OK?"

"Everyone's going to be too focused on their own partner to notice us anyway." said Staghart, pulling Lex closer. "Just put your hands on my hips."

"Where?" Nervousness made Lex's voice go up two octaves. Staghart put Lex's hands on his hips and pulled him into a slow dance.

Griff and King Arthur were on the side lines, having some mulled wine. "I say," said Arthur. "This music is far removed from what the troubadours played at Camelot for our Christmas celebrations."

"Times change, Your Majesty." said Griff.

"Some things don't." said Arthur. "Holly and ivy still decorate the walls. Good wine is still served." Arthur lifted the glass to his nose to enjoy the bouquet. He saw Amp and Lex slow dance over the rim of his glass. "Males still dance together." He took a sip, then did a very un-kingly spit take. "Males dancing together!"

"Shall I get you another glass, Your Majesty?" Griff tried to hide his annoyance at being spit up on.

"Sir Griff! You did not tell me there would be sodomites at this gathering!"

"Oh, we don't use the word 'sodomite' anymore, Your Majesty." said Griff. "The preferred word is 'poof'."

"You daft eedjits are both living in the past!" said Coco.

"Coco," Griff, whispered to her. "You do not call King Arthur a 'daft eedjit'."

"I do if he's acting like one!" she replied. "The acceptable word is 'gay' or 'homosexual'. And there's not a bloody thing wrong with it!" She took up the camera she had strapped to her wrist. "Staghart might like some pics to remember this by."

Lex closed his eyes and leaned against Staghart, feeling as if the world was slowly melting away and he was floating in the arms of his beloved. Yes, his beloved. Lex smiled. /So this is what being in love feels like./ Lex thought. /It's every bit as good as Broadway said it was and then some! So nice./ All too soon, the dance was over.

"Oi, Castor, you hear something?" Pollux asked as the sound of sleigh bells filled the air.

"Sounds like we're getting a visitor!" said Castor.

"Merry Christmas!" roared Leo as he entered the room dressed in a red coat trimmed in white, a large bag over his shoulder. All the hatchlings ran to him excitedly. "Ho ho! Have you been good little hatchlings this year?" They all gave enthusiastic affirmatives. "Well, that's good. I have presents for all of you."

"Let's get out of here." Stagart whispered to Lex.

"Where should we go?" he whispered back.

"Somewhere more...private." Staghart's tone and talons brushing Lex's spine made Lex tingle all over. Being alone with Staghart seemed like a wonderful idea.


A/N: OK, that was a little longer than I expected. Next chapter, sex, I promise, cross my heart!