You Don't Even Know

It was four whole days before Cartman dared go back to the Jew's house. Of course Kyle didn't know, or else his face would have been smashed in by Stan he was sure. It was to gain his own composure, to be able to look at so much as a picture with Kyle in it without blushing insanely and imagining the boy in the throes of passion with himself. He kept telling himself that Kyle just happened to be masturbating, there was nothing special about that, and that he was overreacting.

Then he started wondering why he was overreacting.

And then he would firmly put his mind elsewhere because he really didn't want to think about that. He also tried to ignore the musky smell of the towel that had been dried and folded ever so neatly and put into his closet whenever he went in there. The idea of washing it didn't cross his mind.

Kyle, however, had been having a great time without the lardmonster to bother him. Kenny had spent the night twice in that time, the boy glad to be out of the house especially around the stressful holidays. He had left, off to nail some chick probably. Stan might come over later, but Wendy had thrown some big fit for some reason recently so who knew? He found himself reading a lot when he was alone, surprised by how great it was to live by yourself once you got used to the empty spanse of time in isolation. He was just now curling up to a book when the door rang. He wasn't expecting anyone over, so he could guess who it was.

He just stayed.

The bell rang incessantly, the door was beat on. Finally a large for came by his window and stared at him as he stared lazily back, silently willing the boy to just go away. No such luck, as he saw Cartman raise a rock and motion to break the glass with it. The Jew, still in some pajama pants and a lazy white tee, jumped up and glared at him before going to unlock the door. He waited for Cartman to round the corner before glaring once more.

"What do you want?"

"Why, Kyle, what did I do to make you so upset at me?"

Silence. "Exist, usually." He shrugged and motioned for the chubby boy to come in. The bigger boy did follow, looking around as if anything had changed. He felt a bit awkward, honestly, but that wouldn't show.

"Kyle, I heard that both Stan and Kenny have spent the night so far. When do I get to?"

Deadpan stare. "You don't." It was monotone. It pissed Cartman off. What was with this kid? Had he really just suddenly matured and decided fighting wasn't worth it? Because that was lame if that was the case. "I don't even know what would give you the idea that you would be."

"But Kyle, you're letting the other boys."

"I like the other boys." That was the wrong thing to say. The smirk taunted him. The jew opened his mouth again. "Don't even."

"I get it, this is your brothel?" He looked around, as if having a newfound appreciation for the place. "To think that Kenny saved up his money for two nights."

He could see it, the twitch of anger under Kyle's skin. He'd struck a nerve, even if Kyle was desperately trying to calm himself and remain in control and not show it. It was on the tip of Cartman's tongue, the accusation that the other boy might be ACTUALLY gay. The realization that these weren't just empty insults. But he got distracted quite on purpose of a little redhead.

"Fine, if you want to spend the night, I don't care. You're paying for pizza though."

"Sweet."

Kyle knew this was a mistake even as Cartman sat on his couch, leaving the Jew to just think about what he had done. It was just, he couldn't let Cartman find out there was just one more minority he fit into the category of, along with 'ginger', 'jew', 'nerd', and whatever else he forgot. He sighed and went into the kitchen, leaving Cartman by himself. Cartman called after him to get something but he wasn't even listening. He was already dreading this. He cut himself up some cheese into sticks just as a snack and brought a few for Cartman, which he just put in front of him on the coffee table and sat down on the couch next to him silently.

"I don't want fucking cheese, you goddamned hippie!"

"Then make your own snacks." It was simple and it seemed to shut Cartman up, even though he seemed to be seething as well. Kyle didn't really care how Cartman felt, it wasn't any of his business, even if he caused it. God knows that Eric didn't care about his feelings. Okay, maybe he did care, since he was highly moralistic and in general cared about people, if you could even consider the lardass human. "Fine, what do you want?" His parents always taught him to be a good host, afterall.

"I dunno, it doesn't matter, I'll just eat your stupid cheesesticks." Why was Cartman still angry?

He wasn't angry in actuality, he was frustrated. Being able to see pictures and not think about certain things wasn't the same as being this close to the boy, watching him move as lithely as he did, hear his voice. Especially when he sighed. Eric's eyes furrowed thickly as he tried to regain some composure. If only Kyle would get angry. He imagined Kyle angry at him and quickly decided that maybe he didn't want Kyle angry at him, the fire behind the eyes of the Jew might just be the wrong thing for him.

This is the point where he should have decided to go home. And he didn't, it didn't even cross his mind.

"Do you still watch Terrance and Philip, Kyle?"

"Not really." He took a bite of the cheese. "Once in awhile when nothing's on I'll turn it on but for the most part I've outgrown the humor itself, it's more of a nostalgia factor now."

"Does Ike like it?"

There was a moment where all was quiet as Kyle looked suspiciously at the boy from the corner of his eye. "Ike's always thought it was stupid."

"Oh." Silence. Silence. More silence. It hung over them like stalactites shaking from an earthquake. Kyle had begun to think to himself, ignoring Cartman's existence for the moment, so the silence didn't really even bother him. Cartman, however, was very one track. He was almost shaking with anger at himself already, dammit. Then Kyle sighed. and his body froze. He shifted uncomfortably. They just sat there for an hour, watching some reality TV show that was decent, Kyle sighing and making other noises without even realizing it quite often. Cartman cursed himself, because now that he thought about it Kyle had been doing that for a month now and it only was now bothering him. "Kyle, you have been sighing a lot, is there any particular reason?" Cartman finally butted in, trying to sound sincere. Well, he was, because he wanted Kyle to stop, and to stop right this very instant, dammit.

Green eyes stared at him with a bit of an edge. "Why do you care?"

Yeah, why? "Here I am, worried about your feelings Kyle, and there you go being cruel again." No change in look, okay so it wasn't true and wasn't believed. "The sighing has been annoying me for awhile and I decided that it was time for you to shut your jew trap. Well, knowing you, you won't do that until you talk to someone because you're gay like that. So here you go."

"And you think I'd talk over anything with you?"

"Well, no, but most people won't ask what the problem is and why you're moping because most people won't notice." Cartman shrugged. "So here's your chance." It was true, too, perhaps not the sole reason Cartman wanted him to talk about it, but true.

But just then, the opposite of what he wanted happened. "I don't trust you for one goddamned minute, Cartman! You just want to know what's plaguing me because then you can pick and pry at it until it's an open wound and then you'll humiliate me! We've played this game before." He stood up and made his way for the stairs. "We've played it since we met." The jew hadn't expected the larger boy to actually follow him. "Go away, you're not invited anymore!" But that didn't stop Cartman from following him up to his room, where he tried to slam the door in the boys face. A large hand stopped the door from shutting but didn't try to open it.

"Is it really that big of a deal?"

A moment passed before Kyle responded. "Probably not for just anyone, but it is to me." The ginger teen forced his back to the door, Cartman holding him in place. He didn't want to tell Eric about this, he didn't. But here someone was, already open to talk about it. Stan was nice, sure, but he never really caught on to anything without the obvious right in front of him. Kenny had other things on his mind, like money and women. Him and Kenny didn't talk much, actually. But by saying it was a big deal to him was a double edged sword with Cartman. In one way, it meant that the rest of the public wouldn't really ridicule him about it, no one else would probably think it a big deal, but it was a big deal to him, so Cartman could just pick on him solely about it.

Why did he want to tell Cartman about it? He knew it would just lead to his own agony. He refrained from saying anything more about it and was surprised to hear Cartman say in a low tone on the other side of the door. "You don't have to tell me, geez, I was just asking. Like I really care what's bothering you anyways. Just stop sighing and moping around, it's pathetic." He smiled slightly, despite himself, and got out of the way of the door as it opened. "So what should we do?"

Kyle jumped on his bed, back down. "I don't know. I've had about as much of games as I can stand recently. Kenny likes to play a lot." He didn't notice how Cartman was frozen in place as the skinny boy wiggled to get comfortable on his own bed.

This was going to be a long night, wasn't it?