The Lima Bean Revue

Jack was sitting on the top bunk eating lima beans directly from the can. They weren't even heated up or anything, he just had the munchies that bad. Mr. Hurley walked in and grabbed the can out of Jack's hands.

"Hey, what did you do that for?" Jack asked stupidly.

"Spice, you've got a special request."

"I don't feel like it right now. Can't one of the other boys do it?"

"No, he specifically requested you — and he's a big spender."

"Ooooh!" Jack squealed. "Those are my favorite."

"Well, put on that pink feather boa of yours and meet him in Room 4."

"Will do!" Jack exclaimed, fake-saluting. He wrapped himself in the pink feather boa, which really didn't agree with his coloring, but the clients seemed to like it. He touched up his eyeliner, which was admittedly a bit smudged. Voila! He was ready to go. He stepped out of the room and ran down to the second floor. He opened the door to Room 4 to find Chase Young lounging languidly on the fainting couch. "Chase!" Jack exclaimed.

"Hello, Spicer," Chase slimed.

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, I've come for a private dance from the famous Spice Jacker." Chase's eyes were mocking.

"No, really. Why did you come here?"

"Well, I guess you can say I had a change of heart and I've decided I need you after all ... for an evil plan, of course." The truth was Chase had missed Jack's extremely perky bottom terribly and he couldn't get Jack out of his mind no matter how many times he defeated the Xiaolin monks.

"You missed me."

"Heavens no!" Chase shot back. "I, um, think you will be perfect for this new scheme I have. You'll be, well, bait."

"Bait?" Jack raised his eyebrows doubtfully.

"Yes. I need you to lure the Xiaolin monks to my sexy bachelor pad —

I mean, lair. Sexy bachelor lair."

"Why don't you just steal one of their Wu?"

"It's more complicated than that. I've learned from a source that Raimundo has quite the thing for pale-skinned redheads."

"Oh?"

"I need you to go to the Xiaolin temple and seduce him. Then get him back to my lair."

"What for? A threesome?"

"Ick. No. Alone he will be easier to defeat. Without him the other monks are significantly weaker. They will be easily defeated."

"What makes you think I can seduce Raimundo?" Jack asked.

"Well, you just look so sexy in that awful boa," Chase said sarcastically, giggling sinisterly for a moment.

"Shut up," Jack said, playfully punching Chase on one of his heaving pectorals. "Come upstairs and help me pack. To be honest, this whole underage gay bordello thing was getting a bit stale."

"I totally agree. Anyway, I'm not going to help you pack because I'm a huge jerk. I'll be waiting in front in my rented Maserati."

"Ooh, sexy," Jack growled, leaving to pack. Things were looking up for Jack once again!

It wasn't as hard for Jack to say goodbye to all of his new friends as he thought it would be. Most of them were passed out, and all the news of his departure elicited was a grumble of acknowledgement. Mr. Hurley, of course, was disappointed to be losing one of his top earners, but Jack had lasted there longer than most of his boys, who usually disappeared after a few weeks.

"Well, Spice," Mr. Hurley said, frowning slightly. "It'll be different around here without you, but good luck with your new sugar daddy."

"He's not my sugar daddy!" Jack insisted.

"Yeah, whatever."

And with that Jack was off to start his new life as Chase's plaything.