Prince of Penance

Chapter Twenty Three: Leaving Preparations





Morning trickled bright and cheerful through his window. But the tropical birds singing on his window sill were only an annoyance. A brief spark of sound in the silence of his world.

A soft brown lump next to him started to move. Gusto poked his lover in the side, but Gruffi didn't do more than move bare millimetres before giving another soft snore. It was too early for Gruffi to be up yet. He was usually quite punctual with being awake, but morning came too early in this part of the world. It was different for Gruffi here. Ironically, the problem of not being used to winter that Gusto had back at Gummi Glen was now reversed in Gruffi, who was too entirely used to sleeping through the cold dark winters to be comfortable in the warmth of the tropics.

"Come on hon, its almost breakfast. Today's the day you know."

It had been summarily decided that they would stay at Monteray until the worst winter weather had passed through Dunwyn. Weather updates were regularly brought to the island now by Chummi and Tummi, who had finally given into his heart and joined the Navy, with the understanding that he would always be able to return home for a visit whenever Chummi's ship was ported in Dunwyn.

Tummi was just too happy at sea to be sad for home. He had fallen prey to the call of the 'Journey of Gummis' as Zummi called it. That instinctive and primal urge of Gummi Bears to migrate towards another destination when the urge came over them. The Gummis of Monteray had long ago overcome that urge and bred it out of their systems, at the cost of their Gummi culture and way of life.

Now this Journey of Gummis was coming over the Glen Gummis rather fiercely, but in opposite; they all desperately wanted to go home. They had travelled as many a Gummi bear had, travelled to an Island and met many new Gummi Bears, had suffered painful circumstances, had nearly lost loved ones and had been very close, upon Gusto's return, to abandoning Gummi Glen in favour of the tropical paradise that Monteray afforded. But they had decided once and for all, with the last weather report brought to them by Chummi, that it was time to leave.

Journey of the Gummis indeed. I wonder if Zummi knew we'd eventually be pulled to go home again?

Gruffi finally rolled over, grunting and scratching his brown fur. Gusto watched the bear slowly wake up; expression changing from sleepiness to grumpiness and finally to the 'waking sullens' as Grammi called them.

Gruffi was so damn beautiful in the mornings.

"Are you so rushed to go home that you have to wake me right in the middle of a good dream?"

"What were you dreaming about?"

Gruffi stretched and scratched his short, messy mat of brown hair.

"Gummi Glen, and Gummi Berry picking season. I want to be back in Gummi Glen for the Festival of the First Gummi Berry. If I have to paddle a boat myself to get there."

Gusto chuckled and kissed Gruffi's cheek, watching the sharp embarrassment that came over his lover's face in response.

"Don't worry, if you have to paddle anything it'll be me...I think I forgot to pack something yesterday, and I'm going to go crazy trying to figure out what it is."

Gruffi laughed, and reached out to rub Gusto's face. His fur was coming in at last, the bare splotches were disappearing and he was looking less and less like a ghost bear. Bryton even said they almost looked like twins again.

Of course the young King was looking much more adult now that he had so many more responsibilities on his shoulder.

Its a good thing Misti is staying here to keep his head level and his feet planted firmly on the ground.

Misti was all too ready to go visit the Gummi settlements, but she had decided to wait a year. As much as she wanted to go with Gusto to stay with the Barbics and the Glen Gummis, she was going to wait. Almost on purpose.

"I have much to do here with helping my son settle into his position," Misti had told them over dinner the night before. "He still has much training left, even with his Crown..."

All in all, Gusto felt that Misti was simply hesitant to leave home. There was a gap between them now that he didn't understand. She was far away from him now in a way he couldn't quite grasp.

Maybe nobody would ever be able to connect to him now. He didn't quite understand himself either. It was annoying really. From the lowest peasant to King Bryton himself, Gusto was being hailed as a tragic sort of hero, and there were monuments to him all over the island, even though he was still alive. It all seemed as if they could see something in him that he didn't.

And that painting they had just finished in the Justice chamber was just gruesome to him, although half the island, including the Glens, were singing its praises. Gusto couldn't fathom why Bryton would want to commission such a nasty mural!

"Because the painting they'd had in there was shameful," Bryton had given per way of explanation. "In there we shall depict your triumph over the creature, the very heart and struggle of the people of Monteray over the forces that strive to divide them. Yes!"

Gusto was starting to doubt that Bryton wasn't as inclined towards the arts as he had said he was. Bryton had done some of the painting himself.

Just goes to show, the Augustus family fanaticism for frescoes breeds true.

"We'd better not be late for breakfast, or Grammi will wring our necks."

"I suppose not...though if I have to hear one more of Sunni's sob stories about her friend Kennia getting engaged, I'll wring her neck."

Gusto chuckled, kissed Gruffi on the lips, then rose to get dressed.

This was going to be one hell of a day.

-seperator-

Gusto couldn't bring himself to fully participate in the parting ceremonies in which farewells were given and many stories shared. He showed up to the Court Hall as ceremony dictated, but he didn't feel that his heart was in it. He ended up wandering outside to the gardens to breath in the scent of the tropical flowers, and enjoy the warmth of a January in the deep tropics while he was still able to. Deep winter in Dunwyn would be a difficult thing to return to willingly.

It was there in the gardens that he found Misti, sitting on a stone bench and contemplating a bush of roses. She spotted him, but didn't make any move to leave her seat, simply acknowledged him with a nod of her head.

"I really want to go with you," she said as he approached. "But I don't think the timing is right."

"Why's that?"

Gusto sat beside her and crossed his legs, also staring at the rosebush and wondering what new creature or person she was seeing personified in that bush. She was a great lover of topiary sculptures, and it could have only been this which had called her to leave the party to seek solitude.

"Well, you haven'y fully healed...I sense a darkness inside you, a despair. Its not something you're ready to deal with, and I'd be getting in the way of your healing if I came."

"Oh come on...I'm fine! I wish you and Grammi would stop fussing!"

"I mean it!" she said seriously. "You need to heal. And I think you and Gruffi need to be alone for that healing to happen. I think you two may even find yourselves pulling as far away from Gummi bears and human beings as you possibly can. I cannot be a part of your healing, your change, not yet."

"No, you're wrong."

"Why?" Misti's eyes were damp. "You're already pulling away from me even now. You don't talk to me anymore. You've been quiet since you've come back. I know you've been fundamentally changed by it."

They never really discussed 'it'. Even though many weeks had passed since the event, they still didn't speak about it, and he had avoided all the pomp and circumstance of the monuments being erected in his honour, the ceremonies and prostrations. It was all strange to him.

"I'm still me. I'm fine. I think you should come with us."

"Augustus," she took on a tone that was very close to their Mother's voice, and Gusto knew, with a wince, that he had crossed a line in some way. "You aren't fooling me."

"Oh I'm not?"

"You were swallowed alive by your greatest fear," Misti said, and put a restraining hand on his shoulder when he tried to stand and leave at the mention of the 'forbidden' subject. "You were partially digested and you had to swim through a river of blood and guts to save yourself! You've lost most of your vision, the healers tell me, and you're only able to see as much as you are because Gruffi has been pouring that burning medicine of theirs into your eyes every day to clear off the infection. You've been neglecting meals and you don't speak to anyone save your lover. Don't you tell me you're fine. You've been to hell and back, and you've got the scars to prove it!"

"I...Misti..."

Gusto looked at her, surprised at her coarseness. She reached out to touch his cheek, where the one bare patch was still lingering, to gently rub it.

"I'm not coming with you because you aren't ready for us to go on our adventure yet. You and I, when you are ready, we'll go see the barbics, and explore all of the Gummi world; New Gumbrea, all the colonies and all those places where Gummis may be found. Maybe your lover will still be your lover and he'll come with us..."

"Why wouldn't Gruffi be my lover?" Gusto said, suddenly angry. "What do you know?"

"I know you are hurt inside, so hurt that you may drive even him away from you if you don't let yourself heal. You hurt. So cry. Let yourself hurt. Let yourself feel that pain. You can't build walls around your heart to keep the pain out and still expect people to be able to get in."

She was right of course, but he chafed against her words. He got up and approached the rose bush. A thought occurred to him that she was begging, without speaking, for him to stay at Monteray with her. Not to leave yet.

But he was leaving. There was no stopping him now.

"A unicorn I think. Maybe..."

"No," Misti came up, put a hand on his arm, restraining him. "A dragon."

"Heaven forfend it be something pretty and girlish with you."

"Go find your lover. I think he's finishing up the packing you forgot to finish. I saw him lugging yet another box up to your rooms before the party started."

Gusto nodded.

"Misti...I..."

"Just go. Before I change my mind. It wouldn't be healthy for me to go with you, give you all your eggs in one basket so to speak. I'll be coming to see you with Bryton when Sunni is of age. And I think you can wait until then to see me."

"Yeah...yeah. Sunni will probably go insane if she knew what Bryton is planning."

"Yes..." Misti nodded. "It isn't every day that the King informally decides who he's going to marry long before they are even courting age. Poor boy is nuts about her."

"He doesn't beat about the bush does he? I suppose I have to say that much for him."

Misti then hugged him. It was the most physical contact he had with her since he had escaped purgatory, and he welcomed it with stiff understanding. He wasn't ready to open that part of his soul yet, but maybe some day.

For now, Gruffi was waiting. It was enough that he could hug her again. It was enough for now.