Random Fun: Liquidator x Bushroot Style!

Summary: Before the Liquidator, there was Bud Flud...

***

'Come on, Buddy. I wanna try it,' the woman whined, tugging on his arm.

Bud Flud, or Buddy to his many girlfriends, gazed up at the sign above the fortune teller's tent with apprehension. Another shrewd businessman out to con the ignorant masses and make a quick buck. Quite admirable, in Buddy's opinion, but not when HE was the one being conned.

'Felicia, my sweet,' Buddy began, turning to the lovely dog-woman hanging onto his arm.

'I'm Monica,' the lady frowned back.

'Yes, darling. You do realize that fortune tellers cannot possibly predict your future, don't you?' the salesman commented, trying to keep the annoyance out of his tone.

'Oh, come on, Buddy. Just this one last thing and then we'll head back to your place for some fun,' the woman begged, batting her eyelashes seductively.

{Well, at least I know I'll be getting laid after this}

'Very well,' Buddy smiled charmingly, turning his gaze back to the dramatic red tent to avoid rolling his eyes at his date.

Without warning, two little bats slipped out from between the entrance curtains and pulled them apart with their taloned feet. An older woman stepped out of the tent, followed by the bride of Frankenstein. Granted, if he hadn't had a date on his arm, he would have likely flirted shamelessly with her too. She was one sexy fortune teller.

'Have a lovely night, Mrs. Dowry. Ah, new customers! Do come in,' the crimson-clad sorceress gestured for Buddy and his girlfriend to follow her into the tent. The curtains dropped behind them, leaving them staring at a gloomy space, lit only by a candle burning on a table in front of them.

'Please, take a seat. I've been expecting you. I am Morgana McCawber, and you're in luck today. We have a 2 for 1 special on the Soul Mate potion. That is what you desired, is it not?' green eyes peered directly at him, sending a chill down Buddy's spine.

Soul mates? What a laugh. All he needed was a willing woman in his bed, preferably a different one every night, and he'd be a happy dog.

'Yes, that's exactly what we wanted. I want to know if Buddy-wuddy is my soul mate,' Monica squealed, gripping the salesman's arm tightly.

Buddy didn't even attempt to hide the roll of his eyes, but it seemed as if both women were now too focused on each other to notice him.

'Then let's begin,' the sorceress pulled a small cauldron off a nearby shelf and set it on top of a now-lit burner on the table.

'Eye of newt, tongue of rat, scale of python, and last, but not least, the enchanted feather of a dove to make the potion complete,' Morgana sighed, watching the potion bubble.

Buddy heard his date gasp as they watched the witch's eyes roll back into her head as she began to chant aloud. {I can't believe I spent money on this crock} The liquid in the cauldron shimmered a bright pink, before a small piece of paper shot out of it, landing directly in front of Monica.

'Ooooh, what does it say?' the dog-woman unfolded the slip of paper and squealed loudly, clutching it to her chest. Buddy cast her a sideways glance and quickly slipped a $50 dollar bill out of his wallet. The sooner they left, the sooner he got his reward for this expensive little charade.

'Thank you, but we're not quite done yet. It's your turn, Mr. Flud,' the sorceress' green eyes were back on Buddy, focused and intent.

'No, really, that isn't necessary,' the salesman insisted, standing up from his seat.

'Nonsense. I couldn't possibly overcharge you during a 2 for 1 sale,' Morgana exclaimed.

'You could just give me half as a refund,' Buddy suggested, but the sorceress was already in a trance, having added another dove's feather while the dog-man was talking.

The potion began to churn violently, surging a deep blue, then a plant-like green. A slip of paper shot out of the liquid, hitting the table in front of Buddy with a snapping sound. The salesman picked up the folded paper and stared at it.

'Oh my... You are an interesting match. I hope you are satisfied with your purchase,' Morgana quickly ushered the pair outside.

Buddy glanced over his shoulder the minute he was out of the tent, only to see the sorceress clutching her head as if overcome with a sudden migraine.

'I do apologize, but I must rest now,' the woman announced, sweeping back into the tent and leaving the bats to close the curtains behind her.

'That was fun. I can't believe I got Arnold Swaggerfield, the hunky actor. Who did you get?' Monica implored, waiting for her boyfriend to answer.

Buddy shook his head and slipped open the paper. There was only one word, scrawled in elegant handwriting, and the word itself didn't even make sense.

'Bushroot? That's a strange name. Should we ask her to redo it?' the female-dog gestured to the tent.

'It's not important, my sweet. Let's just go home,' Buddy slipped the paper into his jacket pocket and headed for the car. What a waste of money on a cheap fortune-telling trick like that. Was he suppose to marry a plant or something?

...tbc...