Brutal Valentines

Chapter two- Happy Valentinsdag
Told by Toki

9:00 am

I wake up warm and comfy in my flannel sheets. As I adjust to being awake, my mind remembers it's Valentinsdag. I leap out of bed and rush over to my craft table and pull out the box with the Valentines I have been working on for the last week. I finally finished them last night and they look so cool.

On Charlie's valentine, I made an open macaroni briefcase with hearts inside. It's like our song “Briefcase Full of Guts”, but with hearts instead of guts.

On Murderface's valentine, there's a macaroni heart that’s been stabbed a whole bunch and the macaroni knife that did it is right above dripping down blood. I made the blood out of red hots and I was real careful not to eat them like I have other times I've used red hots to make something.

On Nathan's, there’s a real cool pasta picture of a cat with Dethklok kitty sunglasses.

On Pickles’s, there's a macaroni picture of a rum bottle pouring out hearts.

And finally, on Skwisgaar's, which is the one I'm most proud of, I made a macaroni picture of the love goddess Freyja in her chariot, being pulled by her two big kitties. I wrote something on it that I've wanted to confess to him for a long time. I wrote, “Skwisgaar, I Love you.”

I hope when he reads it, he understands that I couldn't keep it from him any longer. I dream when he realizes how I feel, he will want to become more than friends.

The though of it makes me feel all fluttery and nervous so I try to think of something else. I look at my clock: it's 9:23 am, so no one else will be up yet. I remember there is a meeting at 12 today, everyone will be at that so I'll start giving the Valentines out then. I'm so excited I decide to go play some DDR to kill time.

1:00 pm
The meeting is boring. Charles is talking away about boring stuff, so I pull out some Wonky fruit candy and start to munch on it, but Nathan yells at me to put it away because it stinks, right before he pukes in the trash.

Nathan seems to be in a really bad mood today. I think it's because he's hung over. I clutch the Valentine box on my lap. Maybe his cool cat Valentine will cheer him up. Everyone likes getting Valentines, right?

Charles is still talking, but no one seems to be paying attention except for Pickles. I pull out my Dethphone and text Skwisgaar, “Happy Alla hjärtans dag.”

Skwisgaar texts me back, “Alla hjärtans dag is dildos.”

I feel a little knot in my chest. I know Skwisgaar isn't really into holidays and I've never seen him celebrate Valentinsdag, but still…

“I made you a valentine it's real cool!” I text him.

Skwisgaar texts me, “Whys???”

Because I love you, I think. “Because it's Alla hjärtans dag. I makes one for everyone,” I reply.

“You is such a lady, Toki,” I get back from him.

I decide to ignore this.

“Do you wants to hangs out today?” I text, thinking maybe when we’re alone I can give him his card.

“Whys would I hang out with lady like you?” he responds.

... Well why would he? Suddenly confessing to Skwisgaar seems stupid. He has a whole harem of ladies at his beck and call. Why would he ever want a second rate guitarist like me? I'm being stupid, loving him, dreaming one day we will wind up together. Trying not to cry, I text him back.

“I is no lady, you is lady Skwisgaar! Big mean lady who is too stupid to appreciate when someone cares and tries to bes nice, so yous can just go to hell.”

I turn off my phone and slump in my seat, waiting for the meeting to end. At least I can still give the others their valentines, I tell myself, trying to fight back bitter disappointment.

When the meeting finally does end, Nathan takes off like a rocket and Murderface follows close behind. I don't want to talk to Skwisgaar, so I head to where Charles and Pickles are still standing at the head of the conference table. I open my box and pull out Pickles's Valentine. “Happy Valentinsdag, Pickle!” I tell him, placing the Valentine in his hand.

“Oh, hey, happy Valentines Day, Toki. What's this?” Pickles looks at my Valentine and smiles. “Oh, hey, Toki, that’s great, with the rum bottle and all, dood!”

I'm glad he likes it. I turn to Charles. “I mades you ones, toos.” I pull his out and give it to him. “Happy Valentinsdag, Charles.”

Charles smiles. “That's very thoughtful, Toki,” he tells me. “You might want to check out the dining area when you get a chance. I know Jean Pierre was making Valentines Day treats today.”

The power of sugar compels me. I dash out of the conference room and head towards the dining room as quickly as I can. Charles was right. The dining area is full of cakes, cookies, and a variety of other pastries I don't know the names of, but they look yummy. I dig in, letting the sweets ease my heart, which is aching thanks to a certain blonde.