You Don't Even Know

A/N: Thanks guys for your support. If you have any ideas, tell me and I'll run by them. This chapter is longer than the last one, you'll find I'm horribly inconsistent when it comes to word count.

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Cartman was doing what Cartman does. Piss off Kyle. He took great interest in just how angry he and he alone could make the boy. He smirked evilly as Kyle screamed at him over the backside of the couch. Wishing he had shown up just moments before to find out what they were talking about that was so secret, he watching the JewRat scream at him as if he'd just broken his MP3 player. Which he had at one point. His smile widened.

"Don't grin like that at me, fatass."

"I'm not fat, I'm-"

"A HIPPO."

"EY!" Stan was watching them. It seemed to Eric that everyone always seemed to watch them when they fought. Like that they might finally kill one another and they wouldn't want to miss it. For some reason it bothered him, put him on edge. Not enough to make him stop publicly humiliating Kyle or yelling at him in front of crowds or fighting in the halls, but it bugged him either way. Why was everyone suddenly expecting something out of them. They were just enemies, nothing to see here. What bothered him most was that Kyle didn't seem to mind the crowds, which was backwards, considering that Kyle was the one who didn't like to make big deals out of anything and Cartman loved to make trouble.

"I said get out of my house!"

"But Kyle I just wanted to visit you. Why are you so mean to me?"

"You're not fooling anyone, Cartman." It came from Stan. Why was it that when Stan said something to him it wasn't nearly as frustrating as when the Jew opened his mouth? Eric was about to retaliate when Stan's phone went off and they all stared at him as he answered it. "Hey Wendy... Yeah... But I can't leave, Kyle and the fat one are at it again... Uh, no. I'm not so sure they will. Dude, Wendy, they're right here. Yeah... Alright fine I'll be over in five. Bye." He hung up and stuck it back in his pocket. "Sorry, Kyle, gotta go, boyfriend duty." He slowly got up and made his way to the door.

Leaving the two of them together, alone, in the house. Somehow, Stan seemed hesitant before he walked out the door and shut it silently. He could hear the screaming continue once it did.

"Seriously, Cartman, leave."

"No."

Kyle groaned and laid on the couch. He'd call 911 if Barbrady would be of any use. No one was of any use when it came to punishing Cartman. That's why he was such a pissant. He could feel Cartman's triumphant smile as the boy rounded the couch and sat down by his head. "I hate you so much, Cartman. Can't you go pick on someone else for once?" It was a good question, one the larger boy had been asked many times. The answer was always of the same vein.

"Because there's no one I hate as much as you, Kyle." It was partly true, the real reason was because he reacted the most deliciously, the one that made him feel like he had actual power over the boy's emotions. He could piss people off, make them afraid, but no one was like Kyle. In the moment where Kyle fought back, it was pure hatred. Not hatred diluted by having to act nice, or social boundaries because he was a child. When he tricked Kyle, it wasn't the same as the people he lied to that he knew or only knew barely, Kyle knew him oh so well and could still be conned every so often.

And with every year, their hatred became all that more addicting to Eric Cartman. Kyle was someone Cartman could, and would, always torment. Life was just better that way. Of course, Kyle couldn't know that it was because he still reacted that Cartman stayed, Kyle might just try to stop reacting. Not that he'd never tried that before, but if it was actually the answer he'd put all his will into it no doubt.

Kyle reacted this time differently than he had for all the years before. "Then I wish you didn't hate me so much."

Amber eyes stared at the mess of red hair, since Kyle's face was boored into the couch. The words had been muffled but they were clear. It was a strange reaction to have, wasn't it? To not want to be hated by someone you hate. It was ridiculous and so unbelievably Jewish. He thought to himself how Kyle was a god damned hippie as he focused on the TV momentarily, watching a commercial. "Kyle, get me some cheesy poofs."

"Fuck you." It was simple, halfassed. Kyle didn't want to fight anymore. It pissed Cartman off. Hadn't he JUST been thinking about how he loved that Kyle fought back?

Enjoyed, he ENJOYED that Kyle fought back. Love is a sissy word.

Annoyed at his Jewish... Friend? Rival? Enemy? Whatever they were, he was annoyed at the bitch, so he poked him hard in the shoulder blade. The boy moved uncomfortably without so much as a peep, so he did it again harder.

"Stop." This was weak.

"Whatever, you're not being any fun. Screw you, Kyle, I'm going home." He did his hand motions, got up, and left the house. He couldn't help but suspect that this might have been Kyle's plan all along, but it didn't matter. Right now the ginger just wasn't any fun. While stomping through the Jew yard, he stopped, and wrote 'FAG' in the snow in yellow letters as big as he could manage. Then he barged home, fully considering how to make Kyle miserable tomorrow.

Kyle, after thirty minutes of just laying there, let himself roll off the couch and onto the floor, his back down. He stared at the ceiling for five minutes before getting up. It was too silent. He went up to his room and turned on MC Dreidel jus because it was already in his CD player. He looked out his window with a slight melancholy, maybe he didn't like being home alone. Then he saw the letters written in yellow in his yard.

He sighed. Though he knew that Cartman didn't know he was gay, as proven by the fact that he left instead of picking on him about being so, it still sucked that he had to now get picked on about it anyways. He just was exasperated about Cartman. Granted, he had so far had a lot less of him since winter break. He, too, had noticed how everyone was watching the two when they fought. It didn't really bother him any more than the actual fighting, but nonetheless he noticed it. And when he was alone, he thought a lot about it. Unnaturally so. He sighed and laid down. Stan would probably come back later, and Kyle couldn't blame him for having to go with his girlfriend. He wished he could have, well, a boyfriend he supposed. But that would just open a whole new world of issues with him. Like coming out. He didn't want to even think of his mother's reaction to that.

The Jew stared at the ceiling again and considered how Stan had asked if he was gay. Stan wouldn't care, afterall he never cared if anyone else was gay, and Stan could keep a secret. But who else could have guessed? If Stan knew, Wendy probably knew. She was smart and knew about as much about him as Stan now after some digging and bugging Stan, which Kyle allowed because he didn't want to interfere in their relationship no matter how insane it seemed sometimes.

Kyle also was surprised that he wasn't attracted to Stan. Of course, it wasn't like the thought had never crossed his mind, or that he'd never imagined his friend that way. But it didn't stick, and he never got a fluttery feeling or anything. Actually, in some weird irony or suppressed human instinct, he liked the bad kids like Craig a lot more. Or older kids. It was easy to have crushes on celebrities, too, who portrayed the bad boy, or the Byronic hero. Still, though, he hadn't fallen for anyone, so much so that he didn't even take the offers given to him. It had surprised him whenever he got asked out, male or female. He didn't really have an ego, probably thanks to far too much time with Cartman, and so it was nice. He didn't like how his first thought was always in the realm of paranoia, but it made him feel nice to be asked all the same.

Anyways, it was against the Jewish religion to have sexual intercourse of any kind with a man. Not to love other men, but to act upon it. Well, it wasn't like he had never masturbated before, which was also prohibited, but still. His mom probably wouldn't find out if he ever came outside a vagina as long as he never proved it with something like being gay. Stupid destruction of the seed.

He rolled over and fell asleep. He had nothing better to do anyways.

Cartman, now safely at his house, wanted to plot. He would get Kyle back for being such an uninteresting wimp. He scribbled out ideas without really thinking, as if waiting for something interesting to come up and pop off the page. He was reminded of all the times he had almost lost Kyle, and found himself bored. He didn't want to lose his jew rat.

THE jew rat. Not his. His was too personal.

After three hours of just scribbling ideas, nothing interesting came up. He was creative, but he'd been doing this for too long. Too many ideas had already been used. He went out with his mom until night hit the sky and then browsed the internet and thought some more, demanding stuff from his mother often. He was bored and frustrated that he couldn't think of anything to really bother Kyle with, especially with his new mood, so he decided around midnight to go with the usual.

Getting dressed, he went out the front door. His mom wouldn't even notice, as he could hear her being banged in her own room as he had passed. Making his way through the cold, he looked around, white in the dark was beautiful. To bad he was freezing his balls off and had seen it so many times that it had lost it's splendor. He climbed up the side of the house and into Kyle's room. Something he had perfected. He slowly and quieted got into the room and looked evilly at Kyle's bed.

And Kyle wasn't even there.

Thinking to himself that that was strange, and then wondering if he had gone to Stan's to sleep or something, he smiled. He could ruin the house! Then he heard movement and he squished himself under the desk and put the chair in front of him. It was a bad hiding spot but he already knew the closet was too packed for him to fit in. Luckily, Kyle didn't turn the lights on as he walked into the room, covered in only a towel. Cartman looked away momentarily, giving the man some privacy, before he remembered he'd already betrayed all privacy by sneaking into his room under the pretense he was sleeping and then hiding instead of announcing he was here.

So he watched as the lithe redhead, dripping curls heavy and more wavy and dark, as he didn't even bother getting dressed and lust laid in bed, convering himself with a loose blanket. The boy seemed to stare at space for a long time before he jerked momentarily and Eric realised he was touching himself.

Where was his video camera when he needed it? He watched half in horror and half in curiosity as the boy stroked himself under the covers, suddenly a bit curious as to how large he was and what down there looked like, then mentally slapping himself for asking. The silent room seemed to get more uncomfortable and heated as the sounds of his classmate's masturbation and vocals echoing throughout the area. Eric blushed a few times at the high pitched gasps and wondered exactly who gasps like that while just jacking off. It was like a girl or something.

Yes, it reminded him of a girl, and that's exactly why he was hard.

Right?

Eventually Kyle finished, oddly with a quiet few jerks than a sigh. Seemingly he wiped himself with a towel and then threw it off the bed before rolling over and going to sleep. Cartman sat still, pain raking up his body, before sliding out from under the desk and stretching silently, purposely not cracking any bones. He could scare the shit out of Kyle now, but that didn't seem very fun. Especially considering a certain feature he didn't want to be seen sporting. As he headed for the door, wanting out of the room more than the house, the floor creaked and he froze.

"God... damn... Cartman... leave... alone... beh." The chubby face smiled. Yes, that was right, the Jew would dream about all the evil deeds he'd eventually do to him or had done in the past. He looked around momentarily and saw the towel. He picked it up, it was damp and warm from jizz, sweat, and shower water and he didn't know why but he took it with him as he snuck out of the room and eventually out of the house.