Eric Cartman Must Die
folder
+S through Z › South Park
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
8
Views:
3,086
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
+S through Z › South Park
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
8
Views:
3,086
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own South Park, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Act Two
Eric Cartman Must Die, Act 2
A/N: This chapter is really short and stupid but it sets up the plot for the next chapter.
DISCLAIMER: Nobody here belongs to me.
[Hospital, Scott's Room, Later that night. The door opens and the head nurse enters, wheeling a cart. She turns around.]
Nurse: Okay, Scott, time for your medication - [sees the room is empty.] What the hell?
[Scott leaps at her, tackling the poor woman to the ground and knocking her unconscious with one swing of his fist. He steals the keys and runs out the open door.]
Scott: [Evilly] Payback time for a little piggy...
[Cartman's house. The fat ass sits on his couch, munching on cheesy poofs when the doorbell rings.]
Cartman: Moom! Somebody's at da dar!!
[Liane enters, crossing the room to the door. Unfortunately, she blocks Cartman's view of the TV while doing so.]
Cartman: Ay! Get yer ass out of the way, mom!
Liane: Yes, snookums. [Opens the door and sees nothing but a box sitting on the front stoop.] Eric, dear, somebody left you a surprise.
Cartman: Kickass. [Liane shuts the door and walks back across the room, handing her son the box as she goes] I wonder what we have here?
[Close up. Cartman opens the box and discovers a large tuft of pubes.]
Cartman: What the hell?
[He notices something written on the bottom of the lid and turns it over. Written on the box lid in black ink is the word SOON.]
[Stan's house, next day. Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are there, listening to Cartman rant.]
Cartman: ...so then she hands me the box, and this shit is written on it. [Shows them the underside of the lid] What the hell does this mean anyway?!
Kyle: Dunno, Cartman. But this pube thing seems really familiar.
Stan: Weren't pubes the thing that got Cartman all pissed at that Scott Tenorman kid?
Kyle: [realizing] Oh, yeah. And look what I saw in the paper this morning. [lifts the newspaper front page to show them. On the paper is the words MENTAL PATIENT ESCAPES.]
Kenny: {Holy shit! You mean that Tenorman douche is free?!}
Cartman: SON OF A BITCH! This must've come from him!! [frowns] But what does he mean by SOON?
Kyle: [rolls his eyes] Ah, gee, retard, maybe he's planning revenge! You DID make him crack up by killing his folks!!!
Cartman: Ah, uh, hell yeah, I did. [snickers] Big douchebag probably got shock therapy up his ass after that.
Kyle: [pauses] Remind me to never go crazy.
Stan: Good call.
[Scott's empty house. The place is void of all furniture. Scott is kneeling on the floor, cutting his arms with a knife.]
Scott: Yeah, the little ass [grunts as he carves into his flesh] thought he could get rid of [grunt] ME for good. [watches his blood drop with sick fascination] I'll show him. [finishes cutting himself and leans down, starts doing something to the blood with his fingers.] I will have REVENGE!!!
[Scott's POV of the puddle of blood reveals that the word CARTMAN is written into the red puddle. Scott starts to laugh maniacally.
To
To Be Continued.
A/N: This chapter is really short and stupid but it sets up the plot for the next chapter.
DISCLAIMER: Nobody here belongs to me.
[Hospital, Scott's Room, Later that night. The door opens and the head nurse enters, wheeling a cart. She turns around.]
Nurse: Okay, Scott, time for your medication - [sees the room is empty.] What the hell?
[Scott leaps at her, tackling the poor woman to the ground and knocking her unconscious with one swing of his fist. He steals the keys and runs out the open door.]
Scott: [Evilly] Payback time for a little piggy...
[Cartman's house. The fat ass sits on his couch, munching on cheesy poofs when the doorbell rings.]
Cartman: Moom! Somebody's at da dar!!
[Liane enters, crossing the room to the door. Unfortunately, she blocks Cartman's view of the TV while doing so.]
Cartman: Ay! Get yer ass out of the way, mom!
Liane: Yes, snookums. [Opens the door and sees nothing but a box sitting on the front stoop.] Eric, dear, somebody left you a surprise.
Cartman: Kickass. [Liane shuts the door and walks back across the room, handing her son the box as she goes] I wonder what we have here?
[Close up. Cartman opens the box and discovers a large tuft of pubes.]
Cartman: What the hell?
[He notices something written on the bottom of the lid and turns it over. Written on the box lid in black ink is the word SOON.]
[Stan's house, next day. Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are there, listening to Cartman rant.]
Cartman: ...so then she hands me the box, and this shit is written on it. [Shows them the underside of the lid] What the hell does this mean anyway?!
Kyle: Dunno, Cartman. But this pube thing seems really familiar.
Stan: Weren't pubes the thing that got Cartman all pissed at that Scott Tenorman kid?
Kyle: [realizing] Oh, yeah. And look what I saw in the paper this morning. [lifts the newspaper front page to show them. On the paper is the words MENTAL PATIENT ESCAPES.]
Kenny: {Holy shit! You mean that Tenorman douche is free?!}
Cartman: SON OF A BITCH! This must've come from him!! [frowns] But what does he mean by SOON?
Kyle: [rolls his eyes] Ah, gee, retard, maybe he's planning revenge! You DID make him crack up by killing his folks!!!
Cartman: Ah, uh, hell yeah, I did. [snickers] Big douchebag probably got shock therapy up his ass after that.
Kyle: [pauses] Remind me to never go crazy.
Stan: Good call.
[Scott's empty house. The place is void of all furniture. Scott is kneeling on the floor, cutting his arms with a knife.]
Scott: Yeah, the little ass [grunts as he carves into his flesh] thought he could get rid of [grunt] ME for good. [watches his blood drop with sick fascination] I'll show him. [finishes cutting himself and leans down, starts doing something to the blood with his fingers.] I will have REVENGE!!!
[Scott's POV of the puddle of blood reveals that the word CARTMAN is written into the red puddle. Scott starts to laugh maniacally.
To
To Be Continued.