Aishiteru Means I Love You

"Oh. My. God!" Hyena said as she looked at the computer monitor. "Jackal, will you look at this?"

"What is it? More Transformers porn?" He looked at the screen and recoiled at the sight. "Jesus Christ, Hyena! turn that thing off!"

Wolf laughed. "What is it? Tub Girl? Another pic from Rotten.com?"

"Worse." said Jackal. "It's a good thing my cybernetic metabolism is the way it is or I'd be puking all over the place!"

"Aw, how bad can it be?" Wolf said dismissively. He looked over at the screen. "Jackal, you puss! It's just some furry porn!"

"And you'd know all about furries, wouldn't you, Hokey?" Jackal asked with a grin.

Wolf growled. "Watch your mouth, Tin Man!"

Hyena growled. "Both of you idiots are missing the point! Will you look at who it is giving it to Bambi?" She paused the video. "It's Lexington! That mother fucking green, bug-eyed, sawed-off...."

"Son of a bitch who clawed your face." Jackal finished her sentence for her. "You've only said it a hundred times since our party in Times Square."

"I can't believe it!" said Hyena. "He's gay /and/ a furry!" She started laughing. "Oh, this is just too precious!"

"Hey, guys." Chaz walked in. "Boss man says we roll out tomorrow. Whatcha laughin' at?"

Hyena cackled. "Oh, you better see this from the beginning, Chaz!" She hit the back button. Chaz saw a humanoid and clearly male deer with white fur stretch out on the ground, twitching his tail as he gave a seductive gaze to someone just off camera. Chaz felt his breath catch and his pants suddenly felt tight. The deer was soon joined by a green skinned gargoyle; small but muscular with an eager looking penis that was quite sizable in comparison to the compact body of its owner. They both made breathy moans and groans as they touched and were touched. The deer threw his head back and gave a very sexy yelp as he was filled. Chaz broke out in a sweat as his face flushed and his breath heaved. /It's anger!/ Chaz told himself. /I feel this way because I'm so angry at those..../

"Goddam fuckin' li'l fags!" screamed Chaz, making a lunge at that screen.

"Whoa, settle down, Scrappy!" Jackal said, holding him back. Chaz thrashed. /How the hell is this scrawny Canuck keeping me back with one hand?/ Chaz wondered

"Yeah," said Hyena. "Computers don't grow on trees, you know!"

"What's all this racket about?" demanded Reverend Walters on entering.

"Take a look, Padre!" Hyena motioned to the screen.

Reverend Walters frowned. "My title is Reverend. And what is it that has you all so...?" Rev. Walters' jaw dropped in horror as his hands clasped over his eyes. "Dear Lord! Help my soul heal from the evil I have witnessed!"

"Hey, Rev," said Chaz. "The Bible says it's cool to kill fags, right?"

"As gargoyles are not human," said Rev. Walters. "The morality towards killing one is not even a question. While human homosexuals may yet be saved by faith and repentance, there is no hope for these demons."

"Say," said Jackal. "/Is/ that other one a gargoyle? It's got wings, but it still don't look like any gargoyle I've ever seen."

"It's either a gargoyle or one hella expensive fur suit!" said Hyena.

"That ain't no fur suit." said Wolf. "Not only do the wings flex, but check out the eyes. They blink, they dilate, they flash, they glow. They even squeeze shut at one point. Even Henson would be hard pressed to come up with something that realistic."

"You know an awful lot about fur suits, Wolf." Jackal chuckled. Wolf just growled.

"I can't wait for tomorrow!" said Chaz. "I'm gonna kill 'em and kill 'em good!"
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"Yama has assured me that it will all be in the best of taste." Goliath was saying to Elisa, who was stretched out on her futon and stoking Lacy as she purred.

"Goliath, you don't have to ask me for permission to do anything." she said. "You know that."

"I just...I want you to know that I respect you, Elisa." Goliath said. "I was invited, but I don't have to go."

"It's alright." Elisa said with a wave of her hand. "I trust you and, besides, Robyn's throwing a bit of a hen party herself."

"Hen party?" Goliath suddenly had a mental image of chickens in party hats.

"A bunch of us girls get together to have our hair and nails done. Well, those that have nails. You have a good time, Goliath."

"You too, Elisa." He left.

Elisa sighed and rolled over to face Lacy. "I'm an idiot, aren't I, Lacy?" she asked. "I should've asked him to stay here with me. I want to know if he's as serious about this as I am, but I don't want him to think I'm controlling. Of course I'm stupid. I'm talking to a deaf cat!"
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"And this is us just after our San San Kudo ritual." Yuri was showing Lex and Staghart some photos in an album. The photo she was showing them was herself and Shinju dressed in elaborate wedding kimono and ornate wigs. They had their arms around each other and were giving the peace sign to the camera. Yama could be seen just behind them, holding a red umbrella over the couple.

"What's Yama holding the umbrella for?" asked Lex.

"It's a Japanese custom." said Yuri. "In a wedding procession, someone must hold a red umbrella over the bride."

"Does that protect her from evil spirits or something?" asked Lex.

"Nah." said Yuri. "It just keeps her wig from being messed up."

"Yama doesn't look happy." Staghart noticed.

"Oh, he didn't think it was proper for brides to make a peace sign for their wedding photo." said Yuri.

"At least you were showing the front of your hand." said Staghart. "In England, if you show the back of your hand while doing a peace sign, well, it means something entirely different."

"This is a photo of Shinju and I at Halloween about three years ago." Yuri showed them a photo of herself and Shinju in colorful wigs and sailor suits. "We went as Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune. And here's what Sora convinced Yama to do." Yuri showed a photo of Yama and Sora in matching costumes- a red Chinese style shirt and loose black trousers. Yama had his hair braided and Sora was wearing a red wig in a similar style. "They went as Ranma-Chan and Ranma-Kun."

Lex chuckled. "I wonder what she had to do to convince him to do that."

"Well, it looks like you had a better time of it than we did last Halloween." Staghart commented.

"Oh, what happened?" asked Yuri.

"Well, his evil clone," Staghart indicated Lexington. "Gatecrashed the fancy dress party we were having. Started a bit of a punch-up. Destroyed a perfectly good shirt I was wearing."

"Hate it when that happens." said Lex, as if party crashing clones were an everyday nuisance. "But, since Amp was dressed as Captain Kirk, it was fitting."

Yuri turned the page in th album."Here's one of the hatchlings after they received their green belts." Yuri showed Lex a group photo of the Ishimura clan's current batch of hatchlings in karategi and green belts. Shinju peeked over at the photo and started giggling. She said something in Japanese to Yuri. Yuri chuckled and translated. "Shinju was just reminding me of something that happened when Izumi-Chan was about ten years old. At that age, we start teaching hatchlings the basics in martial arts. Izumi-Chan was having trouble learning how to do a high kick and Yama was showing her. Well, Izumi-Chan did it like Yama showed her, only, well, she was very small and Yama was standing too close so...."

"He was singing soprano for a while, right?" Lex asked with a smile.

"Izumi-Chan was very sorry." Yuri said, hiding her giggles behind a wing. "She picked some flowers and drew a little card for him." Yuri tried to swallow a laugh. "Oh, it's wrong to laugh at that, but the look on Yama's face!"

They stopped laughing when they heard somebody sneeze. Yuri clapped the album shut when she saw that Yama had just entered the room. "Lexington," he said. "We're about to go to the okiya now."

"Hey, Amp," said Lex. "I kinda have to go cuz I'm in the wedding party. It's probably not gonna be that interesting, but would you like to come with me?"

"Actually, I'd like to film some of the geisha if they'll let me." said Staghart. "Might be interesting from a cultural standpoint."

At the okiya, two of the geisha performed a dance of delicate, deliberate movements while the house mother played a shamisen. Staghart filmed the action while Fang groused.

"So, when do they take their clothes off?" Fang asked.

"Take their clothes off?" scoffed Yama. "It takes them hours to get their hair, make-up and wigs just right! Do you think they'll disrobe for just anybody?"

"Ah, crap!" groaned Fang. "I can't believe you, Yama! You arranged a bachelor party where the music stinks and the dancin' girls won't even show you their tits!"

"Food's good, though." said Dingo, finishing his fifth skewer of yakitori. He was dressed in a black yukata and lounging against a pile of cushions. "And the ladies are charming." One young geisha poured him another glass of Kirin. "Ta, Shiela." She responded by bowing modestly.

"Yakitori?" A geisha offered Lexington a dish of skewered roasted chicken.

"Itadakimasu." Lexington hoped he had pronounced the word correctly as he accepted the food. The geisha hid her giggle behind her sleeve and walked off. "Want some yakitori, Amp?"

"Cheers, love." Staghart took a skewer. He looked at it and smiled. "Ever see /Lady and the Tramp/, Lex?"

Fang glanced over to see Staghart and Lexington practically kissing while eating off the same skewer. /Ugh! I gotta get outta here before I get sick!/ Fang got up to leave. He passed by Xanatos, who was gazing out a window, sake cup in hand. The leather wallet peeking out of his back pocket was too much temptation for Fang. Sure, he couldn't "plunk down change for bubblegum" as he once told Al, but he could use the credit cards to at least check out some on-line porn.

Fang left the room in search of a computer. He didn't find one, but he did find a telephone and a phone book. Fang got an idea; an idea on how to liven up the totally dead party Yama had arranged. Fang opened the book, disappointed to find it was all in Japanese. He very nearly tossed it aside when an ad caught his eye. The ad was in Japanese, but it featured a picture of a scantily clad woman. Plus, just under the phone number was "We speak English!" Fang called the number. The person who answered said something in Japanese and something that sounded like "Mushi-mushi."

"Yeah, mushi-mushi to you too." said Fang. "You speak English, right?"

"Hai, I speak English."

"Good. Listen, I need some strippers and I need 'em now!"

"You sound American. Would you like a blonde?"

Fang thought it over a minute and said "You know what? Send me your sampler package!"

"Our sampler package is seven strippers for 43,500 yen. Blonde in black leather, redhead loli, natural Japanese in sailor fuku, nurse girl, cop girl, tengu girl and your choice of a Korean girl with blue hair and a bunny theme or a Thai girl with pink hair and a cowgirl theme."

"Hmm...that's a tough one." said Fang. "Hold on a sec." He took a coin out of Xanatos' wallet and flipped. "Gimme the Korean."

"Very good sir. Where would you like the ladies to show up?"

"Ya know where the okiya in Ishimura is?"

"I'm sure we can find it. May I have your name and credit card number please?"

"Yeah, hold on." Fang took out a card. "OK, the name's David Xanatos. the number is 578 9337 6...."

Before long, Fang returned to the party. "I thought this was too dull for you." said Yama.

"Oh, I think things might liven up before long." Fang said, lounging back on a cushion and accepting some yakitori.

Xanatos approached Fang. "Alright, Fang." he sighed. "Give it back." Xanatos held out his hand.

"Give what back?" Fang asked innocently.

"My wallet is missing." said Xanatos. "Just hand it over and I won't say another word about it."

"Oh, oh. I know what this is all about!" Fang threw up his arms and took on an offended tone. "This is cuz I'm a cat, ain't it? You think all cats go around stealing shit! It never occurred to you that maybe the deer took your wallet. You're just racist!" Xanatos said nothing, only looked at Fang and held his hand out insistently. "Oh, alright, here!" Fang shoved the wallet back in his hand.

Xanatos inspected the contents of his wallet. "My wife's photo was in there."

Fang sighed and gave back the photo of Fox. /So much for the free jack-off material./ Fang thought. /But, I might be getting something better soon./

Fang was the only one not surprised when seven scantily clad women walked in with a boom box. "Ret's get dis potty stahted!" said the girl in sailor fuku. The sounds of AC/DC's "Shook Me All Night Long" rattled the bamboo and rice paper decor as the girls started dancing provocatively. The geisha watched mutely for a while, then stormed out as prettily as they could. No one noticed Dingo dropping his beer glass in shock.

"Fang, what is the meaning of this?" Yama demanded as the tengu girl waved her obviously fake tail in his face.

"Just getting this party livened up!" Fang said as he danced with both the blonde leather girl and a green haired nurse. The blonde stripped smacked Fang's bottom with her riding crop. "Oh, yeah! Fang's been a naughty boy!" Fang said, bending over, letting the blonde and the nurse take turns slapping his bottom.

Xanatos eyed the redhead who was skipping up to him in a frilly spring green dress, a rag doll in one hand. /I wonder if I could convince Fox to dress like that./ he mused as the girl curtsied to him cutely.

"Wanna see me dance mistah?" she asked in a high, squeaky voice. She held up her already too short skirt and wiggled her hips, holding her doll very close to her bared cleavage. She pranced around Xanatos and gave him a sexy gaze as she sucked her thumb and raised her skirt to reveal the frilly garter holding up her immaculate white tights. Xanatos slipped her a 50 from his recently recovered wallet.

"Uh, Amp," said Lex. "Maybe we should leave."

"But I'm getting such interesting footage!" Staghart said, filming the chaos.

"Really, Amp, we need to go." Lex didn't like the look the blue haired girl with bunny ears was giving his boyfriend.

"Lex, I'm gay, not dead."

"STAGHART!"

"Alright, we'll go."

"Yo! Shika-San!" the bunny girl called. She threw her bra towards Staghart. Lex fairly dragged his boyfriend off.

"Ooh, girls, you're really nice!" said Fang. "But, really, you shouldn't ignore the guest of honor! One of ya needs to give Dingo here a lap dance!"

"That's really not necessary, mate." said Dingo.

"Aw, enjoy your last night as a free man, pal!" Fang encouraged as the girl in sailor fuku plopped into Dingo's lap.

"Me ruv you rong time!" she said.

Goliath tried to slip out of the room. "Hold it right there!" a woman demanded. He turned to see a woman with black-blue hair holding a gun on him. She was dressed like a police officer."You're not going anywhere!" she told him.

Goliath held up his hands. "Please, I'm not making any trouble, I just...." She fired her gun. A flag that said "BANG!" popped out. She drew her baton and poked Goliath in the stomach, forcing him to sit in the chair the nurse girl had drawn up. The police girl whipped out some handcuffs and cuffed Goliath's hands behind him.

"Bad boy!" said the police girl, sitting in Goliath's lap. "You're under arrest!" She ripped open her top, revealing her breasts.

"A most intriguing experience." said Matrix, as the bunny girl gave him a lap dance. "Dingo, is this what sex is?"

"Er...uh...not quite." Dingo said as the girl in sailor fuku licked his ear as she thrust against him. /Robyn will kill me! Robyn will kill me!/

"Seriously, miss," Yama told the stripper dressed as a tengu, who was draping herself over him even as he tried to discourage it. "I have a mate."

"I could pretend to be your mate!" she said, lifting one leg as high as she could.
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Elisa showed up for the party at the local beauty parlor to be greeted by Angela, who had bits of her hair wrapped in tin foil. "Trying to get better reception?" joked Elisa.

"Oh this?" Angela touched a bit of the tin foil. "One of the ladies Robyn brought in thought I would look better with highlights." Just then, a lady in a floral smock approached Elisa.

"Um, konichi-wa!" Elisa said, waving to the strange woman, who promptly grabbed Elisa's hand and shook her head while looking at Elisa's nails. She pulled Elisa over to a station where Fox were getting both a manicure and pedicure. Elisa sat down as the lady went to work on her hands. Another lady started taking off Elisa's shoes. "You really don't have to." Elisa protested.

"Just go along with it, Elisa." Fox advised.

"So, where's the bride?" Elisa asked.

Fox nodded her head to a woman laying back in a chair with her head in a sink. "Getting a rinse. She didn't wanna look brassy on her wedding day."

"Hey, ladies." Lex said as he and Staghart walked in. Sora, who was getting a massage, made a move to cover herself.

"Don't bother." Yuri told her from the next table over. "They won't be interested anyway."

"Hope you don't mind us hanging out here." said Lex. "The okiya was, uh, kinda dull actually." One of the ladies pushed Lex into a chair and started painting a green glop on his face. "Uh, what are you doing?"

"Seaweed scrub." She said. "Is good for pores."

"Uh, thanks, but my pores are...."

"You get scrub!"

"I get scrub." Lex sighed, resigned to his fate.

Staghart chuckled at the sight. Yuri noticed something. "Staghart-San, why do you have a bra attached to your antlers?"

/Oh, Bugger./ Staghart thought. It must have gotten there when that bunny girl threw it at him. "Ah, very good explanation for that." said Staghart, taking the bra off his antlers. "You see, um...." He tried to think. "We, ah, just found it and...."

"Staghart." Robyn had her hair done up under a plastic cap. "Do they have strippers over at the okiya?"

"Now, that depends on what you mean by strippers." said Staghart.

"Where's my gun?" Robyn demanded.
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/I have a mate!/ Brooklyn reminded himself as the Tengu girl swayed in front of him. /She's the mother of my children! This isn't even a real gargoyle!/ Meanwhile, the bunny girl had put her ears on a red faced Broadway as she did her special hippity-hop dance for him. Dingo was trying to get the school girl to put her clothes back on and get out of his lap. Matrix was analyzing the friction caused by having the blonde leather girl spank him. Fang was dancing with the now topless nurse girl and trying to sneak in a squeeze or two. Goliath was still handcuffed to a chair and was hypnotized by how much the cop girl looked like Elisa. The loli girl had stripped down to her last petticoat and was dancing on a table while Xanatos watched and Yama covered his eyes.

The tengu girl pulled Yama's hands off his eyes. "That fellow in the eye patch is no fun." she told him. "You will dance with me, neh?"

"Uh, I don't think so." Yama tried to edge away from her.

"I have to say," she ran her fingers over Yama's chest. "You fellows have the best looking costumes I've ever seen! Usagi-Chan was so sad when Shika-San left. She wanted to play!"

"Shika-San wouldn't have been interested." said Yama. "And neither am I."

Tengu girl giggled. "To not be interested in us, you have to be either gay or dead. Which one are you!"

"He'll be dead before I let a cheap slut like you touch him!" Sora screamed, picking her up and throwing her, ripping off the foam tail in the process.

"Don't call me a slut, you bitch!" responded the stripper.

"Get the hell away from my mate and take your fake tail with you!" Sora threw the tail at the stripper.

"This costume cost me 18,000 yen!" The stripper came at Sora, who judo flipped her.

"Mine was free!"

"Ooh, you like these, Mister Purple?" Police girl asked Goliath as she toyed with her breasts in front of him. "Don't you wish you could touch 'em?" She froze as she heard a gun cock.

"Step away from the gargoyle." Elisa said.

"Harry Elvis Monmouth!" growled Robyn.

"Robyn, sweetheart, it ain't what you think!" he pleaded, shoving the school girl off him.

"Broadway, you have got some nerve!" Angela's eyes were glowing red. "You get jealous over me just saying hi and you go and dance with this...this...this whore!"

"Usagi-Chan not a whore!" Bunny girl slapped her.

"Oh, you just crossed the wrong bitch!"

"Angela, Angela!" Broadway pleaded. "Don't kill her! She's a human!"

While Katana was dragging Brooklyn out by the ear, swearing at him in rapid fire Japanese, Fox took Loli girl out with a sweep kick. Nurse girl tapped Fox sharply and said "You no do that! She only doing job!"

"Yeah?" said Fox. "Her 'job' was showing her lacy bloomers to my husband!"

"So you get mad at him!" said Nurse girl. "No get mad at us! We just trying to make living!"

"You got a point." Fox gave Xanatos a death glare.

"Well, this is diverting." said Staghart, leaning on the doorway.

"Hey, Amp, check this out!" Lex put the bra on his head so that the black cups stood up like ears. "I'm Mickey Mouse!" Staghart laughed.

Shinju and Yuri joined them to watch the fight. "Pocky?" Shinju offered Staghart.

"Cheers." said Staghart, taking a chocolate coated pretzel stick. He returned the favor by offering her the bra he caught earlier. "Brassier?"

Shinju took the bra, looked at it critically and held it over her modest sized chest before shaking her head and giving the bra to Yuri.