Fairly FlawedParents

Miss Taken Identity

Even in the rich part of town, the streetlights were few and far between, and the dim moonlight barely pierced the darkness. Veronica nervously walked down the gloomy streets while holding Timmy's undersized jeans up with one hand. Her creamy white ankles showed beneath the hems of his pants, yet the waist was still too big for her. “I can't believe he has a bunch of these pink hats but no extra belts,” she muttered while stuffing a few locks of her blonde hair under the cap. She also wore one of his shirts, which left her midriff showing, though his yellow windbreaker helped cover it up a bit.

The blonde shivered in the cool air and suddenly had an eerie feeling that someone was watching her. She looked around and couldn't see much, but she swore she heard some muttering and occasional maniacal laughter. At times it seemed to be moving all around her. Veronica tried to walk faster, gripping the belt loops of Timmy's pants with both hands. After a several minutes she was finally in the rich neighborhood again, just a few blocks from home. She sighed with relief.

Suddenly, she heard a twig snap behind her, followed by quick footsteps and heavy breathing that was getting closer. She broke out into a full run, trying to escape whatever diabolical masher was after her. As the frightened girl turned past a corner hedge, a net shot out and came down firmly over her head. Out from the bushes stepped her teacher, Mr. Crocker, wearing a beekeeper's outfit and hat, plus the orange safety vest. In both hands he held onto the extra-strong butterfly net that she was trapped in.

“At last I have you!” the mad teacher cried out.

Veronica struggled both hands to get it off of her, but he was pressing down with too much force. “Let me go!” she demanded.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here? If it isn't little Timmy Turner roaming the streets late at night,” he teased. “You almost made it too easy for me to catch you, and soon I'll have your fairy godparents too!” He laughed maniacally.

“I'm not Timmy! I'm Veronica! Let me go, please!” she begged while starting to cry.

“Oh, come on. You can't fool me,” he rebuked as while pulling her farther down the street. “I'd recognize that stupid pink hat anywhere!” He shook the butterfly net roughly, disorienting his shocked prey even more.

“I am Veronica!” she screeched. As the girl struggled to walk with her hands fighting the net, the borrowed pants fell down and she tripped on them, tumbling to the ground.

Crocker managed to keep his grip on the handle while being pulled to a stop along with her. His eyes bulged when he saw the lacy pink panties that his student was wearing. “Oh, Turner, I had no idea you were into... Well, I understand,” he said with some sympathy. “Sometimes I like to pretend I'm, uh, pretty too.”

Just then, a bright light shone directly on them, making the mad teacher cover his eyes for a moment.

“Okay, what's going on here?” a large policewoman demanded as her partner held the spotlight.

“Oh, hello officers,” he teased. “I just caught your precious little Timmy Turner here sneaking over to his girlfriend Veronica's house in the middle of the night.”

“No, Timmy likes Trixie,” Veronica corrected him in a pouting tone.

“What?” her misguided teacher wondered. “I always thought he liked Veronica. She's much prettier and cooler than Trixie,” he brusquely informed his captive.

“Really?” Veronica sighed happily, her blue eyes sparkling through the net.

“Of course!” he shot back. “And why are you speaking about yourself in the third-person, Turner? Remind me to go over grammatical point-of-view in class tomorrow.”

The policewoman looked at her partner and asked, “What do you think?”

Her burly male partner stepped forward, shining the light on the helpless girl. “Well, the report was about a strange man in a protective suit abducting a boy in a pink hat.”

“Yeah, but that boy was scared stiff,” she countered while shining her spotlight on Veronica's waist. “This one just has the pants scared off of him, and he's clearly not stiff. Confused maybe.”

“Well, don't you think we ought to run this guy in anyway?” he suggested.

“Enough chatter!” the deranged teacher commanded. He released the net holding Veronica and produced two more, one in each hand. Before the officers could react, he brought one down over each officer's head and face. The bottoms immediately closed snugly around their necks, though not enough to hurt them.

“I knew that Turner's fairy godparents would show up to rescue him, so I brought along plenty of these! And everyone knows that butterfly nets are completely impervious to all forms of fairy magic,” he raved. “Now I'll be able to prove that fairy godparents really do exist!” Crocker laughed hysterically while trying to jerk the nets around.

“Sir! What do you think you're doing?” the policeman demanded while trying to free himself from the mesh.

The female officer spoke through clenched teeth as she pulled out her nightstick. “Get these off of us right now, or else!”

“Oh, I'm so frightened,” he taunted while feigning fearful poses. “Don't bother struggling: you're completely helpless now, ha ha ha!”

“This is your last warning!” the policeman boomed.

Crocker stuck his chest out proudly and got in the large man's face, looking him straight in the eyes through the fine netting.

“Oh? What are you gonna do about it, you big fairy!?”

Veronica finally managed to pull her head free of her net, losing her hat in the process. She quickly pushed her disheveled blonde hair away from her eyes and looked over at all the commotion. However, she quickly put her hands over her face in pity, only listening to her teacher scream between punches, baton strikes, and the occasional hiss of pepper spray.

After a few minutes, there were only the sounds of Crocker blubbering as the policeman handcuffed him. “Who knew fairies could be so tough?” he sobbed while being led to the cruiser. There was thud followed by a whimper of pain.

“Watch your head,” the officer sarcastically reminded him.

“Don't worry, little girl,” the policewoman said while helping Veronica off the ground and pulling the girl's jeans up. She even cinched some belt loops together with her handcuffs, with the chain running across the button, to keep them from falling down again. “Your parents will have to bring you down to the police station first thing in the morning to make a statement. Then we'll make sure never bothers you, or any other children, ever again.”

After tossing Crocker in to the car, the policeman added, “Well, he doesn't seem all that dangerous, but he's obviously insane.” Then he knelt down to Veronica and tried to comfort her. “So whatever he was saying to you just now...”

Veronica looked up at him, her heart already sinking.

“...is probably the exact opposite of reality,” he finished explaining. “Now, let's get you home.”

Veronica's eye twitched as the female officer helped her into the front seat of their cruiser.