Domestic Disturbance

Chapter 16 : Missed


With the Decepticon gone, and a big gash blown through the side of the Autobot base of command, there was little room for Optimus to dwell on the past. His Autobots needed a strong leader and that was exactly what he was going to provide them with. Even if it did leave an empty hole in his spark that could only be rivaled by the gnarled exposure torn from the Ark.

Several days had come and gone since the seeker was snatched out from underneath him and slowly things returned to normal. They all worked tirelessly to repair their home and day by day the glorious golden ship looked like new again. But he had never felt so empty. The feeling of failure was heavy on his conscious and it only made it worse whenever he passed that little storage closet that once held the jet. He missed the Decepticon.

Prime put on a brave front, even daring to laugh at some of his comrades antics, but any who knew him well knew that something was out of place. However their knowledge of this gave the General little comfort. So he did his best to appear his normal, optimistic, self and blew off any questions of concern that was dealt to him.

It was best to go forward and not live in the past. There was nothing that could be done now except to keep his promise to take Megatron down. Even if he had the dreaded feeling that Starscream would no longer recognize him as an ally, Prime would at least try to spare him the fate of the other Decepticons when they succeeded. If only to ease the guilt. He owed it the seeker, the mech that he had shared such an intimacy with. Prime would not abandon him.

For now, he joined his Autobots in lending their services to the nations of Earth. As part of their agreement with the United Nations, the Autobots would willingly supply their expertise and assistance whenever they were called upon. In return, they were welcome to any of the resources they needed for the energon they needed. Their latest project was to guard the grand opening of a large solar power plant. One that the Autobots were welcome to use. It was of the utmost importance that this plant be well protected.

Knowing Megatron, it was only a matter of time before he would sniff it out and attack. Optimus would be ready.

But he couldn't help but wonder if Starscream missed him enough to some how come back to him.

~~~

Starscream had never felt so numb.

It had only been a handful of days since his comrades had sprung him from the Autobot cell and already the seeker was drained to the point where he no longer cared anymore. He didn't care how many times Megatron had taken him against his will. He didn't care about how loud he cried or screamed or begged. He ignored the odd looks the others gave him when he stumbled wearily into the control room with silver gouges along his wings. The whispers, the gossip. None of it mattered. All he could feel was hatred.

He utterly loathed this existence far more then he loathed Megatron. The tyrant hadn't changed. He couldn't be blamed for how Starscream was feeling now. The only mech to blame for the state he was in was himself. He knew this with every dull pulse of his tired spark.

Primus how he hated himself. Hated his weakness. Hated that he couldn't hate the Autobot. Hated how he actually missed him.

It was late into the night. The halls of the Nemesis all abandoned as the Decepticon occupants were all deep in recharge. Starscream dragged his tired frame back towards his own chamber. Although he was slower and slower to leave the tyrant's chambers, he would never resort to recharging there. Megatron would roll off him and sink into recharge moments after overload and Starscream would lie there until he could manage to will his limbs to move, slinking out of the berth and back to his own before he could be spotted by the others. A few times he had to pry Megatron off him. The silver mech preferring to drag the seeker with him into a tight embrace as if to keep him there. Starscream wouldn't have it and squirmed his way out of the powerful arms. Megatron slept with his processor on and, aware of his commander's every movement, would eventually relinquish and allow the jet to leave. If only so he could recharge in peace.

The tyrant had been a little forceful tonight, collapsing on top of the exhausted seeker to keep him pinned. Seemed the bastard was Hell bent on keeping the jet there until morning, where he would no doubt wake to molest Starscream once again. After cursing the monster in every form of language he could, he managed to convince Megatron that it just wasn't worth it.

Nearly slipping into exhausted stasis, Starscream was only a short distance from his chamber when he heard the shift of a door just to his left. He was passing Thundercracker's chamber and wasn't surprised to see the blue seeker standing in the door way, regarding his commander with a blank stare.

The red and white mech paused for a moment, watching his comrade's optics wander over the latest silver scuffs in his armor. The blue jet glancing up and catching his own with a frown. Thundercracker silently saying more then the other wished to hear.

Starscream gave a short wounded sounding hiss. "Don't you dare look at me like that."

"Sorry?" The other jet replied. "Look at you how?"

"Like I'm broken!"

Thundercracker tilted his helm and regarded his comrade. The silent seeker always knew more then he let on.

"But you are damaged."

Starscream seethed. Never had another mech approached him on this subject matter before. He could handle the glances and stares and whispers, but he couldn't handle the direct confrontation. Not from his own brother.

"Never you mind." He growled and started walking towards his chamber, ending the impending conversation.

Thundercracker didn't seem to want to drop it just yet, moving quickly to block the other's path and receive a hate filled scowl for his trouble.

"You sleep with your processor off, don't you?" The blue jet stated more then asked. He already knew the answer. "The other's in this ship don't. You don't remember how sensitive one's audios are while recharging."

"Are you trying to make a point here?" Starscream was now furious, clenching his fists tightly at his sides.

"Only that your recent vocalizations are not going unnoticed."

A clang rang throughout the hallway as the commander's fist made contact with the blue seeker's jaw. Thundercracker was barely jostled. The force behind the punch was not up to par. It was enough, however to prove the point. This was not a topic to be discussed.

"Shut your mouth or I'll shut it for you!" He snarled, still able to put force behind his tired voice.

Thundercracker drew his dented bottom lip between his dentals. Glossa running over the sore dermas as he felt the small wound his brother had inflicted. "I've never had a problem keeping my mouth shut before, Starscream, and neither have you. What changed?"

"I swear to Primus, Thundercracker..."

"I could look the other way before." The blue seeker continued, ignoring his comrade's obvious distress. "In fact, I even foolishly believed you were the one responsible. But now..."

He sighed, glancing away from his fuming commander, optics narrowing, displeased and almost saddened.

"But now that I've heard your suffering, I cannot live in ignorance any longer."

"I'm not asking you to do anything for me!" Starscream practically trembled, bracing his tired frame against the nearest wall.

"No. You never have." The other jet shook his head. "I remember the days when you used to be happy. And then you disappeared for days on end, only to return a completely different mech. Something had happened to you that you never saw fit to share with us. Something that is still continuing to torment you."

"It's not your burden." The red and white mech hissed, remembering Megatron's words and how he had threatened Skywarp's safety. "I never wanted you involved."

"And so you alienated yourself from us. From the other Decepticons. You are no longer a victim, but an issue that plagues our cause. You only succeeded in trapping yourself."

Thundercracker took a step towards his brother, placing a servo on his shoulder.

"Skywarp and I know all about you and Megatron. We always have. We just didn't know that it was against your will."

"What exactly do you want me to say to that!?" Starscream tried to pull from the blue jet's comforting touch.

"Nothing. I know you won't ask for our help. The only reason I bring this up is because until recently, before you were captured by the Autobots, you had been silent."

"Oh I'm so sorry!" The commander feigned an apologetic tone. "I had no idea the sound of me crying out in pain was so disturbing to your recharge! How could I be so selfish!?"

"It's not that." Thundercracker grimaced. "It's the fact that he is hurting you so much that bothers me."

"He's not hurting me any more than he had before!"

"Then why...?"

"Enough!" Starscream shouted and tugged free from the seeker's grasp. "Enough of this! I do not wish to discuss this further!"

He pushed his way past his brother and opened the door to his chamber, anxious to make his retreat before Thundercracker could get him to talk more.

"Fine then." The other jet sighed. "You don't have to tell me anything. I just want you to know, Starscream, that Skywarp and I will be there when you finally make your move. And it won't be Megatron's back that we guard."

Hesitating in the doorway for a moment, Starscream glanced over his shoulder in time to see the blue mech slip silently back into his own chamber. A small smile tugged the corners of his mouth, his numb spark pulsing far more contently in his chest than it had for some time now. For as long as he could remember, even his own brothers had treated him like he was to blame for all of this. That he was the villain. It was nice to know that, for the second time in his existence, the blame was placed on the right mech's shoulders.

Thinking back to the first mech who had ever taken his side, and knowing his fellow seekers were standing there beside him, only made his spark beat with a rekindled hope that perhaps his life wasn't as ruined as Megatron had made him believe. Perhaps there was something better waiting for him out there. Something other then the revenge that he had been craving for all these years.

He briefly wondered if Optimus missed him as much as he did him.