No Particular Reference

 

LeavesofMyself: Here's another chapter for you. Not much to say, so I hope you enjoy.

Chapter Warning(s): Angst and Slight Swearing

Chapter Rating: T (to be safe)

Character(s) in Reference: 1) Guess... seriously, it's not who you think it is. 2) Ratchet and Starscream (don't ask).

Lyrics Accredited to:  "Mercy" Sarah McLachlan​ and "Black" Sarah McLachlan.

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~*~ Mercy - pure and simple

Longing - cold and hollow ~*~

Slowly, his crippled frame fell to a respectful and utterly perfect bow, exhausted and grieved optics shuttered in silent prayer and in the troubled silence, he, for the first time in many vorns, asked for forgiveness, for a semblance of mercy.

"I am not asking to be free from my maddening world, nor is this a plea to be purged of my sins, for it was those very sins that made me into the mech who, so defeated, has succumbed to the deceiving blackness until no longer able to see, for I am now blind to my path, to any path…. I know I am a troubled spark and the life I have lived was hollow, meaningless, and desolate in every sense…. I know I have lost my way… but….. I just…. I crave a moment of silent mercy, something to let me know I am not so utterly lost that I have come to believe. I cannot be that far gone…. I…."

With no words left, with weltering hope, he bathed in the silence of his defeat. If he had the strength, a slither of will left in his depleted and yielding frame, he would laugh himself into madness at the absurdity that he found himself in. He, born of the wicked and so has lived, holed away on the hollow grounds of the holy temple seeking relief from his mercenaries, his so righteous murderers. This crumbling shrine was all but his last shield in the wake of his sins that called upon him. But here, amongst the forgotten decadence of his holiness, he could no more wish away the suffocating longing to be forgiven, to be set free from his oppressing burdens. It was foolish to pray…. Irrational to even try.

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~*~ If I cried me a river of all my confessions

Would I drown in my shallow regret ~*~

"You have murdered countless innocents."

"It was not mindless murder."

"Then what does you call it?"

"It was a glorious crime of passion."

"I see no passion in your crime."

"Of course not! You autobits would never be able to comprehend the intoxicating power that sears through your energon lines as you mercilessly slaughter the weak."

"So power consumed you so completely that you felt the need to senselessly kill those who could not defend themselves?"

"No, one cycle I woke from recharge and thought 'Today I wish to be an artist. I wish to paint Cybertron's walls with the blood of the meek."

"It was nothing but a sickening display of wasted life."

"You make it sound so negative."

"Only because it's a coward's way of fighting."

"The only cowards present were those who begged endlessly for their lives. They were always the funniest to slay."

"It was nothing more than brute savagery."

"You're simplistic, sappy view of sentiment bores me, Doc."

"Your disregard for sentiment life in general makes me want to…"

"Tsk, tsk, doctor… It would not do you no good to threaten your patient."

"I don't make ideal threats."

"Careful. That's dangerous thinking."

"Do you regret any of the lives you have callously taken?"

"Smooth."

"Just answer the fragging question!"

"Perhaps…. Perhaps not."

"I'm going to take your hesitant answer as a yes."

"You would like that, wouldn't you Doc?"

"Then you don't regret any of it then."

"I could sit here and spill my life's confessions to you, but I won't…. I regret some things, but they are shallow. A fleshling wouldn't even be able to drown in its tiny puddle."

"I believe we are done for the day."

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LeavesofMyself: I hope you enjoyed. Please review.