DethloveKlok

The lead singer of Dethklok was finishing his bologna sandwich as they all took their places before the lights went on, took another pull of beer, then tossed it aside. A long-suffering housekeeping hoodie snatched it immediately and took it to disposal. The fan modules' thrusters kept them in position for ultimate metal witnessing action. Five women took deep breaths and crept closer. A dozen men and women amongst the few VIP fans allowed inside the dome readied weapons. An 18 year old girl was hoping her father and would-be lover remained safe. Hundreds of fans in orbit waited in.................................................anticipation.

A certain manager got out of his hospital bed and went to a telescreen, ignoring doctors' protests.

Katrina was waiting with Judy backstage, butterflies in her stomach and dread in her heart. "Miss Tate?," asked a Klokateer.

"Yes?"

"Sorry for intruding, but Master Ofdensen wants urgently to speak with you," the hooded employee informs her. He leads her, curious, to a viewscreen.

On it was the bruised face of Ofdensen, intent and sharp again. "Miss Tate, sorry to bother you," he said, voice tired but all business. Nurses could be heard chastising him and telling him not to exert himself. He shot them a feral glance that shut them up. "I still don't have the physician's permission to leave the sick bay yet, and I'm still having trouble staying focused for long. This is important; I need to ask you something. I need you to fill in for me today--you know someone has to oversee things down there. You have their best interests at heart, like I do."

The woman's dark eyes widened. "What? Why me?"

"There's no one else. In my ambition I've made sure of that," he said bitterly. "No rivals. But you know them, Katrina. They trust you. And I trust you. I'm coming down there as soon as I can, but you must keep them safe and alive. Can you do that for me? Please?"

Her mouth closed with a snap, in growing determination. "I'll do it. God help me, I'll do what you ask. Oh, and Charles?"

"Yes?"

"You owe me. Big time."

His face didn't change, but a mirthful twinkle came to his grey eyes. "Then I am in your debt. Don't let me down. I've already given the orders for everyone to obey you." He switched off.

Squaring her narrow shoulders she posted guards at strategic points around the stage and backstage area, and called up schematics of the dome and readouts of the security cameras. Judy didn't let her out of her sight, sticking close to the older woman like a shadow. The teen was dressed in tall boots, tight jeans and a black and silver corset with a tiny blue shirt tied over it, her shoulder-length raven hair hanging loose. The other woman was more conservatively dressed in a pantsuit combo, blue hair up in a ponytail. She appeared, in fact, like a good counterpart to Ofdensen.

The lights came on, the lasers started up, and the audience let out a rousing cheer. Dethklok appeared like magic in their respective places, and they were dressed for the occasion: the Scandinavians were wearing their Space Viking Helmets complete with horns, Murderface was a medieval helmet with the visor flipped up, Pickles was wearing a Space Gladiator helmet, with a plume of red hair that matched his own gracing the top of it, and Nathan was wearing some 1940's goggles and gas mask, looking like some secondary character from Star Wars.

"Hello all you dumb-dicks and jackoffs!," Nathan roared. "We decided to come to outer space! We came, we saw, we fucked it like a ten cent whore!" And they slammed into the intro song, causing the fans to roar their approval. Then followed 'Thunderhorse,' 'Face-butter on My Fist,' and then 'Castratikron.' Skwisgaar started a blistering solo on the fly, then Pickles came crashing in like a machine gun at a Tupperware party, then the others joined in.

The Succuboso Squad rushed the guards nearest the left stage entrance, tasering and shooting Klokateers aplenty.

The ADK's, who'd been raising their weapons to take out Dethklok, watched in surprise and dismay as Lavena and her girls tore into hoodies galore. The young blond leader Dennis gave the signal for them to wait for the time being, and to move closer. A blonde woman, dressed in ill-fitting clothes, followed behind him. She wanted to let her Sister know she was all right.

Judy dashed toward the commotion, Katrina shouting after her to keep close and out of trouble.

No chance of that, not with Judy Explosion on the case.

The young woman accosted a petite black-haired lady dressed in some sort of tight-fitting outfit. "Stop!," barked Judy, surprised at the tone of command in her youthful voice. The intruder turned to her, sneering.

"Stay out of the way, child," snarled Lavena in her rolling accent.

In one quick, smooth move the girl unsheathed the sword, holding it to the shorter woman's neck. "I said, hold it."

Gripping a sword taken from a Klokateer, Lavena's black eyes glared up at Judy. "You sure you want to do that?" Judy nodded.

"Hyah!," shrieked Lavena, slicing at the girl's midsection. Judy dodged it, blocking a lunge from her opponent, stepping back in a classic defensive posture. The girl was tall and had filled out, no longer gawky, and she had her father's natural muscularity. Lavena was petite but looked dangerous, having the air of gracefulness and swiftness to her precise movements.

"So you know something about the blade," sniffs the agent.

"Ofdensen's been teaching me. Plus I've had martial arts and self-defense. And that's my dad you're fucking with."

"Ahhh," breathed Lavena. "I see it now. Too bad I have to kill Nathan Explosion's daughter," she pressed the attack on Judy, pushing the young woman back.

Dennis decided it was time to just kill everybody within reach and his people started spraying people with bullets and explosives. Katrina hit the band alarm button, and trapdoors opened under the members of Dethklok, whisking them out of harm's way. Then she ran to where she'd last seen Judy and gasped in horror to see her locked in sword combat with an assassin. People were fighting, and a blond kid came running up with a gun in his hands. Having never even spanked her dogs for anything, being gently bred and college educated, and of artistic bent, she was at a loss of what to do. Something snapped inside her, and she grabbed a piece of scaffolding and brained the young man with it, feeling the sickening jar of metal hitting bone and flesh. Blood spattered her arms and hands, and collected in a pool around his head where he fell. "Judy! WE'RE GETTING THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!," Katrina yelled at her. Explosions rocked the dome as all Hell broke loose.

A blonde woman came up behind the fallen man, gun levelled at Katrina's heart. "Sister!," she exclaimed.

Lavena's head snapped around. "Little Sister! You're alive! Kill that tall bitch and help me with this little girl." Just then members of the elite DethSquad came to their aid.

"Little girl this," snarled Judy, lunging forward. Her heavy blade went through the smaller woman's hip, striking the hipbone. Screaming in pain Lavena retaliates, slashing wildly at the girl's arm, opening a deep gash in Judy's shoulder. Both women bellowed in anger and agony. Lila aimed at Judy, and mustering all her fortitude Katrina rushed her, swinging the jagged piece of metal in her bony hands like a baseball bat. She caught the blonde in the chin, scarlet spraying in an arc, her already-ruined face whipping back from the impact.

"Judy, we're getting the Hell outta here, NOW!," Katrina shouted, grabbing the younger woman by her uninjured arm and dragging her after her.

"She'll get away!," Judy protested.

"You'll be killed!," Katrina snapped back, pulling her along the security passage.

Whizzing through the emergency tubes Nathan whipped out his personal voice recorder. "New idea for a song title," he spoke into it. "Blood and Guts on the Bio-dome." He put that away and got out his Dethphone. "Yeah, hi. Is Judy with you? Cool. Guess we're all meeting back at the Dethrocket. Whaddya mean, you're busy? Oh. Ok then. See ya soon. Bye," he slapped the phone off.

The girls sounded a bit excited. Huh.

According to the evacuation plan they were soon at the base of the bio-dome platform, racing for their Penta-pods to make their escape to the rocket.

"Where's the girls?," puffed Skwisgaar as they ran.

"They're ok, they're gonna be at the rocket soon," answered Nathan.

"Toki," the Swede then says. "I wish you would STOP COPIES ME!"

"I am not!," countered the Norwegian. They were all still wearing their stage helmets/masks. "I is a Space Viking too!"

"Pfffft," the handsome, prima donna lead guitarist scoffs. "They wouldn'ts lets you in Valhalla. Yous a pussy."

"Why is everyones so means to me today?," Toki whines. They reached the docking bay and pushed the lever to activate the pods. Nothing happened.

"Uh oh," Pickles went.

"What the hell's wrong with it?," demanded Murderface, beating his fists against the hatch.

They tried again. Still nothing.

"Ohhh shit," swore Nathan in a rumble.

"What'll we do??," Pickles started to panic.

"Well I gotta pisssh," lisps the mustachioed bassist, unzipping right there.

"I don't think now is the times for that," said Toki.

Murderface emptied his bladder right on a control panel, which somehow activated the Penta-pods. The hatches slid open, all lights on. "Please enter your vehicle now," came a calm, female computer voice over the speakers.

"Bwell," said Skwisgaar. "How do you likes that?" Doffing their helmets they stepped into the tiny escape vehicles.

"VALHALLA I AM COMING!," screamed Toki as it blasted off.

"PIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!," went Murderface.

"I HATE YOU MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM," said Skwisgaar.

Nathan and Pickles simply screamed bloody murder.

The Succoboso Squad and the Anti-Dethklok League initially fought each other over their differing plans for Dethklok, but the survivors decided to concentrate their efforts. Members of each commendeered the VIP fan shuttle, thankfully devoid of innocent fans, and others infiltrated the DethRocket. ADK's were waiting on Judy and Katrina when they boarded, the teen holding her wounded arm, blood still trickling down her arm. She'd shed the blue outer shirt and Katrina had tied it around the gash in a makeshift bandage.

Judy still had her broadsword and took an offensive stance, Katrina with her mouth open wondering if she was going to get out of this alive, when a slender streak attacked the enemies, scattering them. The girls took the opportunity to grab tasers and let loose on the ADK's. It was then they noticed who had come to their rescue--a pajama and robe-clad Ofdensen.

"Charlie!," cried Judy, jumping into his arms. Still wobbly himself he almost fell over, she outweighed him by a dozen pounds or so.

"I see you gals are safe," he observed, trying to hold onto his businesslike attitude. "You're bleeding, are you all right?"

"It's just a cut, I'm fine. Are you sure you're ok to be running around?"

"I have to look out for my boys," he says, then glances at Katrina. "Are you hurt?"

"Fine, Charles, just scared shitless."

"You've done a splendid job so far; Dethklok is safely aboard and we're heading back for Earth. Ever thought about...being my assistant?"

"Fuck, no!"

Nathan was in front as they entered the ship and were heading for the conference room when a black-clad streak bowled him over. It was an enraged, bleeding, limping Lavena who pulled a strange-looking weapon from her back. It was designed to elecrocute him and take a sample of his sperm. Two other women covered her on either side, bringing the other members up short. "Leaves him alone!," shouted Toki, bum-rushing the woman on the left. She let loose with some Cupid's Dust, leaving him stumbling and coughing. The other members of Dethklok came to his aid, pummeling the woman mercilessly into unconsciousness before turning on the other one who turned tail and skidaddled. "Get this crazy bitch offa me!," cried Nathan, grappling with the assassin. Before they could reach her she threw a smokescreen pellet ninja-style and was gone, in which direction they had no idea.