Boxing Day

A/N: Though I tried to make my last story (Kiss Me It's Beginning to Snow) as historically accurate as possible, a couple of errors have come to my attention. The first issue of Superman, AKA "Action Comics #1" came out in 1938 rather than 1937. Also, I had Lexington mention the movie /American Pie/, which didn't come out until 1999. I may rewrite it to have him mention /Porky's/ instead. It had the same basic plot- a group of teenaged boys try to lose their virginity; high jinks ensue.


"Last night was great." Lex said, caressing the fur on Staghart's face.

"I rather enjoyed it too." Staghart said, running a hand over Lex's scalp. He leaned closer for a nuzzle, only to be interrupted when a bagel suddenly caught on one of Staghart's antlers.

"Alright! That's 20 points for me!" yelled Pollux. "Your turn, Castor!"

Staghart calmly picked the bagel off his antler. "Isn't this one of the things Una put on the list?" he asked.

Pollux pulled a sheet of notebook paper out of his pocket. "Oh, yeah, here it is! Number 38: Staghart's antlers are not to be used to play 'ring toss'."

"Didn't Una say you were working at the shop with us tonight?" said Castor.

"Yeah." said Pollux, stuffing the list back in his pocket. "So quit snogging your boyfriend and get a move on!"

"Oh, Staghart!" Castor said in a bad imitation of Lex's voice. "I love you soooo much!" He batted his eyes at Pollux.

"And I love you, Lexington!" Pollux said, doing a bad imitation of Staghart while embracing his twin. "Let's make some green fuzzy babies!" Lex and Staghart rolled their eyes.

"Oh, no Staghart!" simpered Castor. "That would be perverted!"

"Oh, just let me feel you up, love." begged Pollux. "Please? Just a little?"

"I knew you two were doing it!" Griff said, surprising them.

"We was just playing!" Castor said, quickly pulling away from his twin.

"Yeah." said Pollux. "I wouldn't do Castor. He stinks!"

"I don't stink!" said Castor. "You're just smelling your upper lip!"

"Wait," said Lex. "So, body odor is the only thing stopping you two from doing it?" Staghart chuckled as the twins frowned.

"Oh, go to work before I clonk your heads together like Moe from the Three Stooges!" said Griff. The twins clambered onto the parapets and jumped.

Staghart contemplated the bagel in his hand. "Oh well, at least it's not topped with cream cheese this time. Want it?" He offered it to Lex, who declined. "Griff, catch!" He tossed it to Griff, who caught it.

"Go on, now." said Griff, just before leaving them.

"Wanna come with me, Lex?" asked Staghart. "Boxing Day gets pretty busy at the shop. We could use an extra hand."

"Sure." Lex was all for spending time with his new boyfriend.

The two of them quickly caught up with the twins as they glided towards Soho. "I don't smell bad, you smell bad!" one was saying.

"Me?" replied the other. "You're the one who never showers!"

"Gargoyles don't need showers, you student!"

"Excuse me," Lex said, gliding just over the both of them. "But, is there any way for me to tell the two of you apart?"

"Course there is." one said. "He smells worse than I do!" He pointed at his twin.

"I do not!" the other protested. He looked up at Lexington. "Well, to be honest, I'm Pollux and I wear a jacket with the Union Jack patch on the left side." He did a barrel roll so Lex could better see his jacket. "Castor's jacket has a Union Jack patch on the right side." Castor did a barrel roll to demonstrate.

"Oh. Sort of like in 'Let That Be Your Last Battlefield'." said Lexington.

"Huh?" both twins said.

"Episode of /Star Trek/." Staghart informed them. "It was an allegory of racism."

"Geeks!" both twins laughed.

"We might be geeks." said Lex. "But at least we're not committing incest!"

"Ew, we're not!" said Castor. "I like women! I wanna make it with a geisha girl someday."

"And I like blondes." said Pollux. "That's another way to tell us apart. Though, I wouldn't kick a brunette out of bed if her knockers were big enough."

"Hey, Pollux!" Castor laughed. "Tell 'em what happened that time we played 'Never Have I Ever' with Griff and Arthur!"

Pollux laughed. "Aw, man, that was funny!"

"How do you play 'Never Have I Ever'?" asked Lex.

"Oh, simple." said Castor. "You get a bottle of whiskey and you take turns saying 'Never have I ever....' and just finish the sentence however you like. If someone playing the game has done the action, they have to take a swig."

"Oh, let me tell 'em what happened!" said Pollux. "See, Griff was gettin' a bit tipsy, and he looked at us and said 'Never have I ever shagged a blood sibling!' Of course, we didn't do anything...." Pollux giggled so hard he nearly fell out of the sky. "But Arthur took a swig!" Castor laughed too.

"Cor," said Castor as they approached the shop. "Look at all of 'em!" A large number of people were lined up outside the shop's front door.

"Queue like this'll have us busy half the night!" said Pollux. They landed outside the back entrance of the shop. Castor unlocked it. The back room had some black robes hanging on hooks. Castor and Pollux each threw on one as they made their way to the front. Staghart tossed one to Lexington.

"Um, got anything smaller?" Lex asked, noticing how voluminous the robe was.

"Sorry, love." Staghart said, pulling his on. "One size only."

/Well, at least I won't have to pull my wings in./ Lex decided as he pulled the black robe over his head. He hurried to catch up with the others, only to trip over the hem. /Dammit, I hate being short!/ Staghart was helping him stand up.

"Alright then?" he asked with a smile that always made Lex smile back.

"Will you two stop being soppy over each other and get moving?" yelled one of the twins.

/Damn./ Lex thought. /With the robes on, I won't be able to tell the twins apart./ He then saw one of them put on a name tag that said "Castor" before dealing with someone in the returns line. "Seems to be the trouble, Miss?" he asked a customer.

"This Ouija board I purchased from you doesn't work!" she said. "Me sister and I tried to contact Elvis Presley, Buddy Holly and James Dean and none of 'em answered."

"Well, when did you do this?"

"Just last night. I got it as a Christmas present for me sister."

"Well, didn't it occur to you that maybe ghosts take the holidays off?"

"Ya really think they do?"

"Sure. Elvis and Buddy were probably having Christmas dinner together. Maybe James Dean was visiting Natalie Wood's family."

"Well, it makes sense when you put it like that. Penny and I will try again later."

"And if it doesn't work, bring your sister here with you. Sometimes these kinds of things are affected by a person's aura. I could check her aura out, see if that's the trouble."

"You can see people's auras?" The lady seemed impressed.

"It's a gift." The monkey gargoyle waved his hand slowly in front of her. "Ah, yes, I see your aura. The chakras tell me you are a warm and exciting young lady with an open mind."

"Wow. You really know me!"

"And I can see that your chi is balanced with your karma. I can tell from the bright, clear light that surrounds you that you are generous, kind, intelligent. I'm seeing sparks of dark red that indicate you are passionate and a good kisser I'll wager."

She giggled. "Well, Penny and I'll try again later. In the meantime...." She wrote something on the sales slip she had with her. "Name's Jenny. Ring me up sometime, Castor." She winked at him before she left.

"Jenny, I got your number!" Castor said as he tucked it away in his pocket. "Yes, may I help you?" The next customer was a young man.

"Yeah, my New Age obsessed mum got me this pussy-arse necklace for Christmas." He put the necklace on the counter. "What's it worth?"

"Sorry there, squire." said Castor. "Store credit only."

"You got anything in this bloody store that isn't for weak minded wankers?"

"What you got in mind?"

"Well..." The young man leaned in close and quietly said. "Do you have any...water pipes?"

"No, we don't sell those." Castor said with a sad sigh. "We got incense burners." Castor looked at the necklace. "Get anything you like for less than 20 pounds."

"I like that one with the dragon." He pointed at one on a shelf near Lexington, who was trying to hem up his robe with some Sellotape he found under the counter.

"Oy! Lex!" said Castor. "Bring that dragon over here." Lex dropped the hem and brought over the incense burner for the customer's inspection.

"Are you a child?" the customer asked Lex.

Lex thought quickly. "I'm a little person." he said. "Like Warwick Davis."

"Who's Warwick Davis?" asked Pollux.

"He was Wicket the Ewok in /Return of the Jedi/." Staghart informed him. "And the lead character in /Willow/."

"Oh." said Pollux. "So he was in a lot of wuss movies then."

Staghart sighed. "He was also in the /Leprechaun/ movies."

"Oh, well that's alright then." said Pollux. "The Leprechaun rules!"

Castor approached, allowing Lexington to handle the customer. "Say, Staghart, isn't your new boyfriend a leprechaun?"

"No, he is not." /He is my brother./ Staghart reminded himself. /I can't punch him. No matter how stupid he gets./

"Yeah he is!" said Pollux. "He's short, green, Irish...."

"Scottish." Staghart corrected.

"Whatever." both twins said as they shrugged.

"Hey, Staghart." said Castor. "Would you do it with an Ewok?"

"Would I /what/?" Staghart couldn't believe he asked that question.

"You don't have a problem with being short." Pollux pointed out. "Having a problem with fur would be a mite hypocritical."

"Well, would /you/ do an Ewok?" Staghart asked. "Either of you?"

"There are female Ewoks, right?" asked Castor.

"Yes, of course there are." Staghart sighed. "There was a mother Ewok in the movie and the cartoon series made it plain they came in both genders."

"Wow." said Pollux. "You really are a geek." Staghart sighed and walked away to wait on a customer.

"Maybe we should've asked if he'd do it with Yoda?" suggested Castor.

Lexington rang up the purchases of a lady customer. "Are you a child?" she asked him.

"Little person." he corrected her, already getting tired of being asked that.

"Say, the tall one who always wears that deer mask," she said. "Does he still...hello, Staghart!" She smiled as he approached.

"Hello, Simone." Staghart sighed.

"What time do you get off?" she asked. Lex had the sudden urge to claw her eyes out but somehow managed to control himself.

"Not until late." he said simply.

"You doing anything tomorrow?" Simone asked, leaning forward seductively. "The cinema I work at is showing /The English Patient/."

"I've got other plans." he said. "Do you need anything else?"

"Maybe a kiss?" she batted her eyes. /Maybe you can kiss my fist!/ Lex thought.

"Look, Simone, the truth is, I'm with someone else."

Simone frowned and took away her purchases without another word.

"Who was that?" Lex asked, glad to see the back of her.

"That was Simone. She's a regular. I've tried to tell her in the nicest ways possible that I'm just not interested, but she can't take a hint. I think she may be a furry."

"A furry?"

"One of the types we get in here a lot. Some just want to know how we make our 'masks' and sometimes buy books and figurines featuring their favorite animals. Like them." Staghart motioned to a pair of teen girls oohing over some ceramic animals. One had a hat with cat ears. "Then, there's the ones like Simone who are just looking for some sexual thrills. I've caught the twins in the backroom with a half-dressed customer a time or two. The ones who want to be animals are the strangest. They're convinced that we actually are animals and have some magic that could change them too. Well, they're half right. Still completely mad, though."

"What other types shop here?" asked Lex.

"A lot of New Agers." said Staghart. "They're all about psychic energy and spirituality and reaching a higher consciousness and all that bibbity-bobbity-boo rubbish."

"But, magic does exist."

"True. but the New Agers aren't as in tune with the incorporeal as they think. I've never wholly understood magic myself, but I know it doesn't come from necklaces made with 'crystals' made of plastic."

"So, Castor doesn't really see auras?"

Staghart shook his head and laughed. "No, that's just a trick he uses when he's on the pull. A lot of buzzwords and rig-a-ma-role mixed with flattery and the birds eat it up." Staghart motioned to a couple of long haired boys in ragged jackets looking at an ornate box. "And then, there's the potheads. Una tells us to shoo off anyone who's dealing or obviously high, but you can tell from the smell sometimes what they are. A lot of them mistake the place for a head shop."

"Oy!" one of the boys held up the box. "How much you want for this?"

"Price is marked on the bottom." Staghart told him.

"It says fifteen quid." said the boy. "You takin' half off today, right?"

"That is the half-off price." Staghart told him.

The boy and his friend muttered something between them. "Right, We'll take it then." The boys fished some notes out of their pockets as Lexington rang them up. "You a kid?" he asked Lex.

"No, just short." Lex sighed, taking the money. After they left Lex turned to Staghart. "I'm thinking of putting up a sign. One that says 'I assure you, I am an adult.'"

"I'm hungry." said Castor. "Who's up for Chinese?"

"Those two'll want the cream of sum yun gai!" Pollux snickered.

"Oh yes." Staghart said with an eyeroll. "Never heard that one before."

"I'd like to have sum dum ho." said Castor.

"I'll call" Pollux picked up the cell phone behind the counter. "Who wants extra cat?"

"Pollux!" Staghart scolded.

"Only joshing, only joshing!" Pollux dialed the number. "Hey! Kwan! Whazuuuup!" he said to the person who answered. "This is Pollux. Me, Castor and Stags are working tonight. Just set us up with the usual. Oh, hang on a mo, Kwan." Pollux lowered the phone and addressed Lex, who had found a marker and a legal pad to make his sign. "Oy! Lex! What kind of Chinese food you like?"

"Um...they got cashew chicken?" asked Lex.

"Kwan?" Pollux said on the phone. "Usual order, but add an order of cashew chicken and another can of Coke." Pollux looked at Lex. "You OK with Coke?"

"Yeah, Coke's fine."

"Right then, you got all that, Kwan? Yeah. See ya in a few, mate." Pollux hung up. A few more customers came in. Castor and Staghart saw to them as Lex put up his homemade sign, assuring everyone that no child labor laws were being broken. "Not easy, is it?" Pollux said sympathetically. "I know how you feel, mate. When me and Castor was little, the elders treated us like ickle babies, though technically, the two of us are the oldest of our group."

"You kept track?" asked Lex. Usually, gargoyles didn't keep track over which egg hatched first.

"We was preemies, we was." said Pollux. "Happens when you got two hatchlings in one egg. Identical twin gargoyles are rare to begin with. Identical twins that survive infancy are rarer still." Pollux grinned and spread his arms. "But, we beat the odds, and here we are! Say, want me to read your palm?"

Lex laughed. "Yeah. You read palms. And Castor reads auras."

"Nah, I'm serious, mate, let me have a look."

"Well...alright." Lex offered his right hand, palm up. Pollux looked intently at it.

"Whoa!" Pollux said in surprise. "You're gonna be rich!"

"I am?"

"Sure. See?" Pollux pointed at the lines. "There's your private jet, there's your limo...." He spit in Lex's hand. "And there's your swimming pool!"

"Oh, gross!" Lex yelped as Pollux laughed.

"Looks like someone missed an episode of /The Simpsons/." Staghart said sympathetically.

"Yeah, well, I don't get to watch it as often as I'd like." Lex tried to shake the saliva off his hand. "Should probably get it on DVD."

"C'mon, there's some Purel behind the counter." Staghart offered him some of the hand cleanser. "I know a little palmistry myself."

"Does it really work?" asked Lex. "Or is it just 'bibbity-bobbity-boo'?"

"I'm not sure, to tell the truth." said Staghart. "But, I read about it in one of Una's books." He took Lex's hand. "Palmistry was created by humans, with human hands in mind. Fingers are shaped different, and gargoyles are missing the Mount and Plain of Mars." He caressed the side of Lex's hand. "The Mercury Line is about here, if it exists at all. But, the basic principles are the same. You have a fire hand."

"What's that mean?" asked Lex.

"You see how the palm is rather squarish and a bit longer than the fingers?" Staghart ran a finger around the perimeter of Lex's palm. "It means, you're passionate and ambitious. Once you get started, you don't stop. Like fire, you have the power to create, but also the power to destroy if kept unchecked."

Lex smiled at that. "So, you wanna light my fire?"

Staghart smiled and showed his palm. "I have an air hand myself. Air can stoke a fire, or blow it out. Shall I look at your Heart Line?" Staghart ran a talon over the curved line near the top of Lex's palm. The light contact made Lex shiver. "It's long, and very curved." Staghart observed.

"Oy! No sex on duty!" Castor shouted, surprising them.

"Bugger off!" Staghart told him. "Like he can talk about sex on duty. Anyroad, Lex, your Heart Line reveals that you are an idealist. You'd like things to be a certain way, but you have a strong intellectual bent that keeps you grounded in reality."

"What about Coco?" said Castor.

"I didn't mention her." said Staghart.

"Yeah, you did. You mentioned a strong, intellectual bint."

"Will you get lost already!" Staghart shooed him away.

"So, can you tell me how long I'm gonna live?" asked Lex.

"The Life Line doesn't tell how much time you've got." said Staghart. "Popular misconception. It tells you what will be in your life." Staghart stroked the curved line about the meat of Lex's palm. "Your Life Line has a chained pattern. Your life is multi-fold. There is so much that has happened, and so much that will happen."

"Pretty accurate so far." said Lex.

"Now, the Head Line." Staghart ran his talon lightly over the last major line in the palm. "It's long and very deep."

"Oy! I said no sex!" yelled Castor.

"I am ignoring you." said Staghart. "Your Head Line is long and deep, that means your ambitious- told you that already- and you have a very good memory. Learning new things comes easily for you. There are some breaks in this line, meaning you've had some disappointments in life. Possibly stemming from your idealism. And there's a fork right here. That typically means a change in career. Who knows? Maybe you will be rich."

Lex laughed at the idea. "What else do you see?"

"Your Destiny Line is forked. That means it could go one way or another."

"Lex would know all about that, wouldn't he?" Castor grinned, leaning over the counter.

"Shut up." said Staghart.

Lex looked at his forked Destiny Line. "One way or the other, huh? Some destiny."

"Destiny, destiny," chanted Castor. "No escaping destiny!"

"Go play in the road." Staghart suggested. Castor left. Staghart gently squeezed and probed the slight protrusions on Lex's hand. "The positions of the Mount of Jupiter and Mount of Saturn tell me you're quite proud of your intellectual prowess, but you find it hard sometimes to understand what you're feeling."

"Batting a thousand so far." said Lex.

"You have a well developed Mount of Venus." Staghart said, caressing the mound of flesh near his palm.Lex found himself flushing as his hand was caressed. "When you love, it is deeply and passionate." Staghart brought his face closer. Lex was mesmerized by the gently accented voice and sparkling blue eyes. "That's to be expected of someone with the fire hand. When you feel, it is all consuming." Lex reached up with his free hand to touch him.

"Yo, Staghart, come quick!" yelled Castor.

"I am going to murder him." Staghart said with a smile.

"Staghart!" yelled Castor. "Kwan's here, and it looks like some Skinheads followed him!"

"Castor, I swear if this is another joke...."

"I wouldn't joke about this! C'mon! Pollux can't take 'em all on his own!"

Staghart sighed and motioned for Lex to follow him.


More is coming!