Irken Courtship

Most of the stuff begins in later chapters
"Talking"
'Thinking"
-imphasesed words- (know how to bold and stuff please let me know!)

Prologue: To Earth!

“It’s happened!” Purple bounced into the Tallests quarters on The Massive and collided excitedly with Red.

“What?” Red looked broadly over at Purple and took a drink of his soda, wondering what mundane thing he had gotten himself excited over now.

“We found another compatible species!” Shoving the report in front of Red’s face with barley contained excitement, he continued. “Look! Look at Zim's report! You know the last one we ignored?”

“What were you doing looking at through that idiots report for? I thought the reason we had him send written reports was so that we would be able to ignore him.” He causally looked through what he assumed to be misprinted nonsense.

Purple grinned stupidly, “I was bored and thought I’d look through them while I wait for some nachos. You know there always entertaining.”

With wide eyes Red looked up from the paper and looked at Purple, “You mean that Zim’s been there for who-the-hell-knows how long and he’s only discovered this NOW!? That’s the first thing every good Irken’s supposed to find out!”

“I know! But remember, we only sent the idiot to that planet to get rid of him. Actually, if I remember correctly…we didn’t even know if there WAS a planet there!” Purple grinned stupidly, “So are we going?!”

“Going where?” Red knew what he meant but he loved to just mess with him at times.

“To Irth! Or whatever that dirtball’s called. Where did you think, stupid? Vort? We can just turn all the better humans into hybrid Irkens and use them as breeders and the other half as more slave labor for the snack planets!”

“I don’t know if the hybrid thing will work though…”

“No, no! It’ll work! There are only a few physical differences! They’re like, um, like, uh…some of the first Irken! With the shorter lifespan and only less limbs! And it wouldn’t take much to change their longevity! It’ll be just like when Tallest Bee hybrid-ed a couple of Jits! And now look where we are! Soon to rule the galaxy!”

Purple was practically bouncing off the walls like a hyped up child who just ate a whole pound of sugar.

“You’re right!” Now Red was getting into it. They would be remembered for all or Irktom as the rulers to introduce a new species into their own. In other words they couldn’t think of anything new to be remembered by on their own.

“So we’re going to Irth?”

“Yes, I believe so… You! Lowly messenger-drone, have General Cam set the Massive and the Armada on a course to Irth and inform him this is a breeder capture mission. On your way there have someone bring up some snacks and soda.” Red snapped at a short green eyed Irken, who had jumped nervously at being yelled at.

“Ye-yes my Tallest!” Saluting, she ran out of the room quickly to do as she had been told.

Not two seconds later two other Irkens delivered the snacks and soda and left.

Gorging on nachos, Purple looked up at Red, “Do you think we should call Zim? Give him some heads up to prepare for our arrival? I’d hate for him to be left unprepared with gratitude when we show up. Looks bad for us.”

Red looked up at the transmitting devise and swallowed the pickle he had been eating, “Sure, he’s always good for a laugh.”

“Yeah!” Purple licked some cheese sauce off his finger and pressed the on button. “Computer, put a transaction through to Zim on Irth.”

“Connecting.”

A few seconds later, “Yeah, what?” Zim’s smartass computer replied.

“Hey, baby, you mind putting a communication through to Zim for me?” The Tallest’s computer flirted as much as a computer could.

“In a second…”

On the screen a poorly drawn and colored picture of Zim appeared on the screen, “Yes my Tallest?”

“Ah, Zim.” Both were too stupid to realize that the drawing wasn’t the real Zim. “We we’re calling to inform you that we have decided to help you with your Invasion.”

“That’s excellent, my Tallest! May I ask what brought about the change of heart? The mission goes well right now. Ah, not that I don’t want your help, I mean.”

“Yes,” Purple replied, “We’ve decided to turn your mission to a breeder capture instead of simply a seek and destroy. After finally being able to read your latest report we have decided to turn the human’s into Irken Hybrids. How far have you gotten with that?”

“Um, it was a side project, yes…but it’s just in the beginning stages since until recently it was a simple Invasion. I can continue with it if you wish.”

“Yeah, you do that. We’ll be there in about six months. Over.”

“Well…that wasn’t as funny as usual. Wonder why?” Not really caring, Purple finished his nachos.

“Whatever. Let’s sleep. We have a while before the gathering of The Armada finishes.” Yawning, Red striped of his clothes and placed his sleeping shirt on.

Purple just slumped on the gel bed while Red changed, “Okay.” And with that fell asleep.

“…idiot.”


This chapter has been edited by Ru Shin! Go praise her please!