As Fairy Slayer would say, I betaed this chapter, so any typos are my fault.
(SPOILERS below)
Okay, when you said there was going to be some dick in this chapter, I kind of assumed you were talking about Gus. But involving the Blight twins is even better.
Two things about this chapter are particularly striking. The first is the emotional intensity of it. You really sell Ed and Em’s forbidden love effectively, particularly in terms of how it affects and is affected by their other family relationships. The same goes for the twins’ powerful envy of Amity’s status as their mother’s Chosen One.
The second thing -- and this applies to other parts of the story, too -- is that it’s not merely compatible with canon but actually explains things in canon that haven’t really been explained on the show. In this chapter, it’s Ed and Em’s penchant for picking on Amity. It’s great to see that they don’t do this because they’re intrinsically assholes (any more than Amity was during her early bullying of Willow and Luz) but because they have a really solid reason to resent Amity. You also explained very nicely why their mom lets the twins get away with so much while so often coming down hard on Amity.
Looking forward to what's next.
Chapter 4 (SPOILERS):
Interesting that Luz can't bring herself to make Eda her thrall the way she did Amity -- not because Eda isn't willing (unlike Amity), but because Luz thinks of Eda as her mentor. Which makes a lot of sense, really, because whereas Luz and Amity's relationship has evolved substantially over time (from enemies to frenemies to friends and now to lovers), Luz and Eda have had a consistent mentee/mentor relationship from the beginning.
I'll be interested to see whom they draw into the fold next.
This is a really good story. It's going in ways I didn't expect. I can't wait to see what happens next.
Chapter 3 (SPOILERS):
Not only was this every bit the Luz/Amity chapter I've been hoping for, but you made it extra-awesome by showing us that Amity has a submissive side. Not only does this make sense within the context of the story, but it also could explain why canon-Amity has been so conflicted about whether to show or hide her attraction to Luz. For a girl who feels the need to show strength at all times, the desire to give herself over completely to someone else would be anathema.
The ending is quite a cliffhanger. The situation has really escalated now. Looking forward to more!
chap3 nice ending. Looking forward to what comes next. Hopefully with fisting
(Chapter 2)
Nice of Willow to reveal the secret, but a bit naughty of Luz to use that power so much so quickly. Thank goodness I really like naughtiness. Great bit of exposition plus some real hands-on fun, even if Luz had just enough self control to stop short – this time! Great little makeout session, and nice hint that there is some lingering emotional effect. I can see so many wicked possibilities, even many that come about completely innocently or just from Luz's anxiety. (Not that I have anything against a dive-right-in earjob. I even wrote one myself a while back.)
My only question is why some demon-descendant hasn't pretty much taken over the Boiling Isle yet. :D I really like where your story is going. Thanks.
Some comments on chapter 2 (SPOILERS):
--Well, while Eda might not be on my list of Top 5 Boiling-Islanders Luz Should Get It On With, Willow definitely is, so I was gratified to see this chapter about her. And Willow’s reason for wanting Luz to touch her in that way is totally in character for her.
--I know you didn't invent the phrase “going boneless,” but I like your use of it here.
--I love how you fit in all the little background details like the screaming bell and lockers with mouths. It really grounds the story in the world of The Owl House and enriches the scenes at the same time.
--Luz erasing Willow's memories at the end of the chapter seemed a bit over the line, particularly given that Luz has seen the consequences of memory erasure before -- for Willow in particular. It definitely suggests that this new skill of Luz's is ripe for abuse.
Looking forward to more.
A good story.
Oooo getting spicy. I want to see more ear-domination. Time to abuse the power!
There's so much wonderful, magical things to explore on the Boiling Isle, yet Luz's most-impactful discovery was about erogenous zones. Kind of shocking how fast and hard that got Eda going, though it feels very normal that Luz would be so freaked out about what happened – especially when Eda didn't even seems to register any of it afterwards. It opens up many possibilities once Luz decides how to handle it – especially if this kind of "oo-mox" has a similar effect on all witches.
It'll certainly be a lot of fun, but even better that you have put a lot of emotion and thought into it too. Thanks for setting her off to a great start.