Disclaimer: I was the beta reader so all of my comments were in the markupcopies… until now. A LOT of my original annotations don't make any sense to meanymore, but it was interesting to see how some of the others wereincorporated. Also I can't believe that when Lola put Lincoln's mustache on himI didn't think “KNEEL BEFORE LOUD!â€
It'sa fantastically fun story, the set-up fitting perfectly in The Loud Houseworld, but then it's wonderfully entertaining and super sexy as well. I lovehow matter-of-fact Lola is about not just this beauty pageant but the truthabout all of them in general. And at times her deviousness was delight enoughin itself. Sure, he didn't get the PlayBox – but got to play with plenty of boxes.
Lincolnmakes a great focal point with some good thoughtfulness without bogging thingsdown, and though only five Loud kids play any real role it's was hilarious that"Inner Luan" got to join in at the perfect moments.
Youalso did a mind-blowing job fleshing out the other contestants in looks,personality, and especially their various performances. It was a truesmorgasbord of smol. On top of all those girls, Misty was a true delightin her professionalism and showing how much she loved the pageant too. No doubtLincoln's copy of her EM catalog will be well-worn in no time.
Anddespite not even being there, it was wonderful that Daisy Darling got a wintoo. I liked the various facets of Lola's fascination with the enigmatic girl.It almost felt like she was a full character in the story too.
Finally,give it up for the other "uncles" who got almost as much enjoymentthroughout the story as I did. They added a nice bit of fun and flavor too.Kudos to Brick and best wishes to Blanca for a speedy recovery.
Thanksagain for such a terrific story - and for letting me get first crack at such afull and fun story.
This story is wow, just wow. The talent show part was my favorite part
Lola's "The Magic Mirror" trick was hotly brilliant and awesome. One of the perks of having a twin
I'm happy Lincoln (Uncle Herb) got to have lots of hot sex, especially with Misty
ok dam... i went into this thinking it was going to be sex scene after sex scene. while that was the case for almost 3 chapters it was more than that. Lincoln went into this wanting to earn money for a new console and came out a pedofiles liking having sex with little girls giving up the prize money in the end. the actual pagent it self was so well thought out besides the whole girls pleasing the judges part there you wrote this to be as legal as possible and sadly that was one of the best part. this story with the pageant alone thinned the lines of what’s “legal” to do in a one of these. i’m 100% certain that somewhere out there is a underground pageant like this in real life and it passes as legal not doing any morbid till later in the night. i never would expect Lynn of all people to be ok with this stuff. that whole Lolly pop calling Lincoln Uncle Herb and lincoln losing his mind genius. lincoln wasn’t the one who had sex with these young ladies he took his role as herb spice seriously and came out a pedofile Lincoln is 11 in the show proper and reading what he did to the young ladies damm. you my friend did a great writing this i honestly expected a twist like lincoln running into ronnie ann or something or their dad forgetting something and walking in on Lincoln or lola. just expected that twist. also expected to lincoln to play the part more as uncle herb and give lola a ride make things more personal ya know. if you write a sequel to this i will be reading it.
Been following this for a minute. You do fantastic work the attention to detail is exhilarating. I look forward to your future works.
Hats off and take a bow my friend you did a fine job with this one and I hope to see more soon
Excellent ending. I really enjoyed this story and was sorry to see it end, but it was a satisfying conclusion.
If you make a part 2 would love to see Lola & Lana give Lincoln a turn since he's got a thing for the young stuff now
Lana & Lola should get some extra points with Lincoln
Encore! *holds up lighter*
Really great good on this fic hope to see more