Ditto on what Anon said, RIP in peace pastebin ;A;
You won't understand how I felt when I looked up to your pastebin page as usual and couldn't find anything
By frantically checking out that writing of yours were safe here, I regained my composure lol
After that, I heard that pastebin is setting posts to private so no one but the author could read it
I'm leaving this comment just in case you don't know about it
I'm really looking forward to seeing the next chapter of MIWC by the way Your fics became driving force of my life recently
My usual collection of play-by-play thoughts, this time on chapter 8 (SPOILERS):
--I liked the way Leni describes how the model should walk while wearing her dress (swoosh-step-swoosh). It's just very Leni, yet it communicates the idea well.
--I also like that Leni is so deeply familiar with the vocabulary of her trade. She may not be a genius, but I embrace the idea that she can really focus when there's something she's deeply committed to (something I touched on myself in "The Loud House After Dark").
--Also, you must have done quite a lot of research on this topic. Or else you didn't and you're just faking it brilliantly. :-)
--I like how Leni falls back on her old speech pattern when she says "I'm, like, the one that made it." It really gives the hint that she's upset.
--"Clothes...wear you just like you wear them." Interesting perspective.
--I would think that a clothing designer would have concerns about hiring a white-haired boy as a model. Lincoln might only be 21, but the white hair no doubt makes him look substantially older, at least at first glance, which may or may not fit with the target demographic Valenti has in mind for his men's clothing. Another concern would be that this unusual feature might draw viewers' eyes away from the clothes.
--I love Leni's thought that Lincoln would be a good model because "he's really cute and good at holding still." That seems exactly like Leni-reasoning.
--When Leni quotes Lola's opinion of Valenti and says that she's sure Lola wasn't just saying it to be nice, my immediate thought was, "Does Lola ever say anything to be nice?" :)
--I love the way that Valenti uses the story of the cousin he loved to broach the subject he wants to discuss with Lincoln, because I assumed that it meant he knew (gasp!) about Lincoln and Leni's incestuous relationship. And then, when Valenti's actual request of Lincoln was that he convince Leni to stay in New York, that was a wonderful sharp right turn after that sharp left.
--Valenti's excoriation of fashion journalists made me laugh. "They loathe the humble, they despise the sincere, and they will gleefully attack anyone who hasn't proven themselves." Valenti's diatribe also made me wonder if maybe you were channeling some personal feelings about those who sling mud at creative types like you (while creating nothing themselves).
--At the end, when Lincoln is looking down at the people on the street below and thinking about their "glamorous big city lives," I found myself imagining just the opposite: young people scurrying from their closet-sized apartments to their entry-level jobs as gophers and office drones at investment firms and publishing houses.
Thanks for another interesting chapter.
Couldn't he just move with her?
What is the point of this angst, when he could just move with her? He's pretty much her assistant.
Another Fantastic chapter.
Really building the tension in this one. Valenti is a great character, his back-story and motivation make him a perfect person to set up the conflict. His past Mirrors what they have in front of them and makes sense why Velenti think's the way he does. Leni was adorable as always as well.
Thanks for the shout out man! It is so awesome how you spread the love with links to authors.
Always love when I get to read another of your chapters, your meticulous style may be slow but the results are solid. I'm really looking forward to 'Make it with Chu' whenever you get it where you like it as well. :)
When Bongiorno brought up his cousin's story, I was like.. What an insight! Does he know what's going on with them all along? It's nice to know there's someone who understands and supports their love
And yeah, seems like my expectation was a bit high on him
I genuinely pissed off to be honest after that old man told Lincoln to save her because I interpreted it as begging him to leave her Maybe it's just me being selfish or minunderstanding the true meaning of his words I wish the latter is what you intended I really wish the true intention is completely opposite of what I thought
Lincoln chooses to stay NYC with Leni and that would be the best choice, both love life and fulfilling dream
Well.. not for Lola to be exact cause she'll be losing her imaginary boyfriend ;) Wonder how she will react after finding out the whole situation
Anyway, it was terrific! I enjoyed it so much I gotta say, you really are a great writer!
This morning I woke up too early, and reflexively checked my phone to see that the story had been updated. I of course immediately fell back asleep and when I woke up not long after I was PO'd- I was convinced that the update had been a dream. Then I checked again and POW the update was real. What I am basically saying is that this update was literally a dream come true XD
I really enjoyed the early parts of the chapter, with Linc and Leni seeing the Prisma office for the first time. Especially the overworked-secretary bit, which (to me) was very Loud House and would totally fit in a real Leni-episode:
Secretary, waving frantically "No wait you have to sign in!"
Leni, waving back "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"
elevator doors close
But then we get to the scene where Linc is having his one on one with Mr. Bongiorno, and oof. Once again your work has me taking breaks because the tension is ramping up for me. I don't know how Lincoln will handle this new development, moving to NYC with Leni would probably be fine by him since he seems to just be spinning his wheels back home- but can he handle being seperated from the rest of his family? Could Leni? It's not just the two of them either; the rest of the family back at the house seem to rely so heavily on Linc, could they really let him go? Not to mention Rita probably wouldn't be too thrilled with the whole "Leni will be okay I'll move to NYC with her" proposal. Great chapter, I eagerly await the next one (and MIW'U!)
I read the pastebin, I see we both like Whimfu's work. His fic Changing Hearts is one of my faves (the best Lola/Linc fic out there IMO) and I hope it gets updated. It also seems we're both awaiting chapter two of Back on Her Feet, Lisa/Linc isn't exactly common so I hope it ends up being as good as I anticipate- although Trill hasn't let me down yet. Speaking of Lisa and Lola, have you seen Anon334's LH fanart? It's really good IMO, and he does those two characters really well.
I hope you stay healthy and happy, Doc. Till next time!
Some comments on chapter 7 (SPOILERS):
--I really liked the phrase, "It was more of a moment than a real place."
--I love the description of Lincoln's reaction when his mother calls on video chat: The way time slows down and he becomes hyperaware of everything, as though this were a life and death situation.
--Intriguing bit about Lisa perhaps using her mad science to enhance her breast size. (Can't say I blame her, given that all but two of her sisters are flat-chested in canon.) And it nicely sets up Leni's counter-argument about her and Lincoln having kids.
--"Of course Lola read PMZed. It was probably her home page." *chuckle*
--I LOLed at animal prints coming back being considered a disaster equivalent to the world ending.
--I'm not clear on how getting pregnant by Lincoln would be physically dangerous to Leni.
--It just makes sense that there's a Loud family group chat.
--So, Leni has shot down Lincoln's argument that they shouldn't have kids together for biomedical reasons. But that really struck me as more of an excuse than a reason; the real issue would be that their having a kid together would make Leni and Lincoln societal outcasts, blowing up Leni's promising career and preventing Lincoln from even beginning one. So there's still a big argument ahead, I'm guessing.
Thanks for another chapter of this intriguing story.
You didn't forget Daphne, did you?
Can't wait to see the next one btw!