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for What's wrong with me?

by ItwasMerlin

person Shado
schedule February 28, 2021 at 12:00 AM

Very good chapter i'm very excited to see where astrid and mildew are going? 

person Ghost
schedule February 25, 2021 at 12:00 AM

Loved the new chapter!! Really never thought I'd see the day I'd root for someone like Mildew lmao. 

person Guest
schedule February 23, 2021 at 12:00 AM

This was a good chapter.

Ideas I had for future chapters if you want to continue: 1) the next time they are at the cove, Mildew takes Astrid's anal cherry first. 2) after a few times of anal, Astrid breaks down and wants him to take her virginity before Hiccup after her comparison between them. 3) Astrid finds out Mildew's identity after some time, but instead of reporting him, she continues to having a secret affair with him whenever they get a chance, like oral in the woods, vaginal or anal in Mildew's cabin.

These are just my ideas, maybe you can get inspiration from them to how you want your story to go or use them in your future chapters if there is like a time gap between your ideas and mine. 

schedule February 21, 2021 at 12:00 AM

I'm glad to read chap7, I hope you continue writing regularly. I like Astrid's pussy-hair, hope to have that mentioned more.  I'd like her to have pit-hair also but I'll take what I can get.  I'm enjoying the story but a few points.  The oral sex is defineitly repetitive.  I enjoyed the ass-play, but he's stopped at oral for far too long.  It's time for some full on fucking.  Anal sex would also be great if you want to hold off on vaginal for a LITTLE longer, but I really want to get there soon.  It sometimes feels like intercourse would be the end of the story and there is no need for that.  We can spend as much time with fucking as we did with oral and go on for some time.  If the concern is somehow about her hymen, there is an excellent chance it would have torn from her lifestyle already.

Also, too many reminders about the hypnosis.  It's enough to mention it two or three times, then we remember she is entranced.  No need to reference it in practically every paragraph.  Overall good, I'm definitely interested.  Hope to read more soon.

person Merlin R
schedule February 21, 2021 at 12:00 AM

To sailor nemesis, thank you for your valid points . Just thought I would reply (although I'm sure I'm not aloud on here ) . I want to put your mind at rest that when they fuck it won't be even near the end.  I've got some good plot points I really want to get into that definitely aren't Oral based haha.  It's just working out when to pull the trigger on it . Also as to my writing, I get that too and repetivness is something I'll work on. 

Many thanks Merlin 

person Shado
schedule February 21, 2021 at 12:00 AM
person Shado
schedule February 21, 2021 at 12:00 AM

The chapter was really good and i think since astrid is behaving more and more like a whore she  should also dress like a whore in the next chapters. 

person gumba
schedule February 20, 2021 at 12:00 AM

man this story is so good when are we getting another chapter?

 

person Roady
schedule February 20, 2021 at 12:00 AM

Chapter update was great! Hope you don't lose motivation to finish, because I'd like to see where this turns outs! 

person People
schedule May 2, 2018 at 12:00 AM

Hey, I know this is out of nowhere but would you take on a request? Could you make a smuty pseudo crossover between Httyd and God of War? For some time I have wanted to "see" a shy and quirky Hiccup (more or less the same as the first movie) fucking Persephone and Aphrodite (here is the pseudo part. The personalities in canon wouldn't work here so they need to be changed.)