This story is fantastic and one of the most depressing yet erotic things I've read. I commission a lot of different artists for different things and I'm think of shoring up some cash to put a team together and adapt the first chapter into an Animation. I've been working on a short screen play of it and am eyeing an artist to storyboard it. I hope you don't mind. If there is an issue or any question about it you can search my name online to get in touch.
Thank you for bringing this story to the world.
I found this story a few years ago at this point, and I check in once in a while. I figured I might as well leave some of my thoughts after all this time.
The thing I have to praise most is the composition. The writing in this story is simply phenomenal. This story was, believe it or not, practically my first experience with any sort of 'fanfiction' and actually with this show as well (still never watched any of it). But it was enough to get me interested. I did read some other good ones for TLH, but nothing has quite topped this in the department of writing style. Fanfiction is naturally amateur work, and while that certainly doesnt make it automatically bad, it's quite natural to encounter a lot of general composition problems since nothing is really at stake. Issues like very long sentences or super wordy dialogue are common in this realm of literature (and make it really hard to read). I bring that up because I simply can't find problems like that in your work. Aside from small and rare typos the prose is flawless. The sentences flow well, and I can imagine actual people saying what you have them say. I find it impressive that you can have characters have important and meaningful dialogue while still using a simple and natural vocabulary; and yet you display a great vocabulary in your narration. That narration, by the way, is overall the strongest part of the writing--not excessively lengthy or repetitive, but measured and as detailed as it needs to be to spin a good plot. I love that you assume the reader has the capacity to remember important plot points without being painstakingly reminded. And one more thing--I respect that you can shift whose mind/thoughts you're narrating without being confusing about it. Even though it sometimes happens constantly, its never bewildering.
Now this is the interesting and sorta-weird part: I have no more interest in the sorts of things I initially found these sorts of stories for, like the ah, 'carnal' stuff. But the way you write and the sorts of conflicts you thread through are enough on their own. So it's real kudos that your story is excellent even apart from the M-rated appeal. I don't know whether that's something you would take offense at or not, but I think that's a pretty neat thing.
There's more I could say but I'll keep this thing short. I'm interested to see where you take this
Please continue
It's very good, can I translate it and upload it to wattpad?
More!!!!!
Your dedication to this story is remarkable—nothing short of incredible! Cant wait for the next update.
With so much time dedicated to both Lincoln's terror and the natural eroticism of sex, I'm really confused about how i'm supposed to feel. Is this a smut story or a psychological horror? i can't figure it out
Love it and can't wait for a update
God like.
I don't know much English, but I really enjoy reading this fanfic, it is without a doubt one of the best stories of "the loud house "
I really appreciate your effort.