rate_review Reviews

good to see a fic on here whit plot.

Well at least the story has advanced a lot in the last chapters. It's better than nothing. Thought the characters do seems far more aggresive to the other.

well it's starting to make progress, slowly.

Hastily paced, not very well written, dull, and 4 chapters without getting to the sex. You lost my readership.

are they going to have sex soon

Honestly I see the potential here. I can feel it in my bones that it will get more interesting but, you knew there would be a but, why are Ben and Gwen behaving like royally douchie assholes? I mean yes I understand that Ben is an egotistical little brat and Gwen is a perfectionist OCD I never had the feeling of them out right despising each other's presence... After the first three episodes.
Now moving on I think I see what's going to happen here. Given the two side to these guys and what you've shown so far I can surmise that Gwen will be the first to bring forth a compromise with Ben wholeheartedly against it until after maybe three days of boredom he begins to cave... No that's wrong that's too efficient a use of time. Welp I guess I'll just wait for the next chapter.

the second chapter was very good,the shower cunnilingus scene was very well done, and i loved the characterization of Ben and Gwen.

ignore my previus Review i was Double tasking a confused tap whit another fic..

Your other reviewers are right, not enough happens in the chapters. Also Gwen and Ben are Max's grandchildren, not nephews and seeing as how Gwen is a girl she's nobody's nephew.

I want to say that I'm looking forward to more but you really need to put more in your chapters, they need to be at least twice as long as they are, if not three times.

I still maintain that the chapters are way too short. This along the first one would have been a good prologue if you put them together. If you could make them a little longer, to at least fulfil the quota of information that we need to judge the story, would be nice.

So far we only have too little information on what's happening, who's the new "girl", what's going to happen, (Even if we all know what's going to happen, but many of us like to see how it would happen, and if in the process it would be good or bad). If you updated two or three times per day, the shortness of the chapters wouldn't be so bothersome. Especially when you are setting the story and the flow of it. (Which is frustratingly slow, too slow).

You don't need to make the chapters have fourteen or twenty pages each, just a little longer than what you are doing right now, to at least set the pace nicely in the process if you are going to update daily.