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March 31, 2017 at 12:00 AM
I like the depth and the twists and turns you've added to what could have been a simple porn story,
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December 23, 2016 at 12:00 AM
Brilliant!!
Bravo!!
Encore??
More??
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March 26, 2016 at 12:00 AM
Aww man, this story is fucking awesome! I hope it's updated soon!!
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May 15, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Soooo it's beenawhile mate and you're fans are still here waiting for you lol. Really hope you havent given up on this fic, its truely the first GOOD Family Guy fic thats ever been put out there :(
Also really want to see Stewie return for a showdown of the brains lol
Also really want to see Stewie return for a showdown of the brains lol
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June 1, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Hey nice to see you are still alive and kicking mate, we were starting to get worried around here lol. I said it before and I'll say it again, this is the only decent Family Guy fanfic thats out there right now and the thought of it discontinuing is rather frightening to say the least.
This chapter was pretty good all around, we got to learn more about the test group Chris was a part of and we are actually seeing the foundation of the future getting laid...in more ways than one lol. I was a little sad with the introduction of yet another OC rather than a canon character, of which there are plenty, but her role and situation were well done and called for. I was surprised and quite pleased to see that Chris's actions didnt go completly unnoticed and he hasnt exactly gotten off scott free here. The witness of course isnt a threat to him, which could be good or bad, blackmail is an old and well know trope after all.
I also found it to be rather funny that even though some time has past since Quagmire's death, Chris STILL hasnt gotten around to cleaning his car. Carwash is what? $15? $5 if you use a do it yourself one? Kids got a good heart and he's gotten smarter, but he's still lazy as hell when it comes to some things lol
As for Chris's grandfather getting included, thats going to be a major issue I can already see. The man cares about one thing and one thing only, and thats money. Chris will need to speak his language to get through to him. His point that you make more money treating people for something for the rest of their lives than curing them is 100% so Chris needs to find a way to overcome the loss of income. About the only way I can think to do that would be to make it a vaccine that everyone is given when they are young and need booster shots for the rest of their lives. It wouldnt make as much money per person as cancer treatment does, but it would be a much larger customer base so that might make it more profitable in the end lol
I look foward to seeing where you take this story in the future, and I'm still holding out hope that Mrs Lockheart will be joining the cast lol. Keep up the good work!
This chapter was pretty good all around, we got to learn more about the test group Chris was a part of and we are actually seeing the foundation of the future getting laid...in more ways than one lol. I was a little sad with the introduction of yet another OC rather than a canon character, of which there are plenty, but her role and situation were well done and called for. I was surprised and quite pleased to see that Chris's actions didnt go completly unnoticed and he hasnt exactly gotten off scott free here. The witness of course isnt a threat to him, which could be good or bad, blackmail is an old and well know trope after all.
I also found it to be rather funny that even though some time has past since Quagmire's death, Chris STILL hasnt gotten around to cleaning his car. Carwash is what? $15? $5 if you use a do it yourself one? Kids got a good heart and he's gotten smarter, but he's still lazy as hell when it comes to some things lol
As for Chris's grandfather getting included, thats going to be a major issue I can already see. The man cares about one thing and one thing only, and thats money. Chris will need to speak his language to get through to him. His point that you make more money treating people for something for the rest of their lives than curing them is 100% so Chris needs to find a way to overcome the loss of income. About the only way I can think to do that would be to make it a vaccine that everyone is given when they are young and need booster shots for the rest of their lives. It wouldnt make as much money per person as cancer treatment does, but it would be a much larger customer base so that might make it more profitable in the end lol
I look foward to seeing where you take this story in the future, and I'm still holding out hope that Mrs Lockheart will be joining the cast lol. Keep up the good work!
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May 1, 2014 at 12:00 AM
this is great I want more
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March 29, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Sorry its taken me so long to review, but real life is a pain lol
Lets see, what to say about these two chapters. Well first of all things are taking an intresting twist with the medication Chris was testing along with those others. I had noticed Chris acting a little odd over the previous chapter, now we know why. The funny thing though is that despite how horrible Chris's actions were in chapter 6, they arent completly...alien to the series if you think about it. Every member of that family has killed at least one person, but this chapter really made Chris seem a lot like Stewie. Both of them having the same parents it makes sense they would have some similar traits to them. Boost Chris's IQ and add paranoia and you have an older Stewie lol
That aside, these chapters continued the trend you have had going since you stated this story. While out there in some ways, it wouldnt have seemed that unusual for an episode of Family Guy, even Glenn's inglorious death was perfectly fitting.
Still, I will admit that I'm going to miss him. You made him a designated villian in this story, but without him a good deal of the humor from the series is gone :(
As for what happens next, Chris might have been better off calling the cops after 'seeing Glenn dead hangng from the fan' the next morning. He'd pass the house so it wouldnt be unusual, and whoever is in the basement might have a reward for their rescue. Chris missed out that time. That aside I look foward to seeing where you go with this, what Chris's next move will be and what beauties he'll be claiming as his own.
Keep up the good work mate,this is a great story and I look foward to the next chapter :)
Lets see, what to say about these two chapters. Well first of all things are taking an intresting twist with the medication Chris was testing along with those others. I had noticed Chris acting a little odd over the previous chapter, now we know why. The funny thing though is that despite how horrible Chris's actions were in chapter 6, they arent completly...alien to the series if you think about it. Every member of that family has killed at least one person, but this chapter really made Chris seem a lot like Stewie. Both of them having the same parents it makes sense they would have some similar traits to them. Boost Chris's IQ and add paranoia and you have an older Stewie lol
That aside, these chapters continued the trend you have had going since you stated this story. While out there in some ways, it wouldnt have seemed that unusual for an episode of Family Guy, even Glenn's inglorious death was perfectly fitting.
Still, I will admit that I'm going to miss him. You made him a designated villian in this story, but without him a good deal of the humor from the series is gone :(
As for what happens next, Chris might have been better off calling the cops after 'seeing Glenn dead hangng from the fan' the next morning. He'd pass the house so it wouldnt be unusual, and whoever is in the basement might have a reward for their rescue. Chris missed out that time. That aside I look foward to seeing where you go with this, what Chris's next move will be and what beauties he'll be claiming as his own.
Keep up the good work mate,this is a great story and I look foward to the next chapter :)
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February 15, 2014 at 12:00 AM
So, he murdered Quagmire for basically no reason? When he could have easily called the police and gotten him sent to prison?
Chris is becoming evil in this story and it is not a good twist to the story.
Chris is becoming evil in this story and it is not a good twist to the story.
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February 5, 2014 at 12:00 AM
great story im looking forward to reading future chapters
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January 21, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Sorry dude my bad lol, it was pretty late when I wrote that review and was reading the story as it was up to that point. I must have not seen the bit about Stewie and Brian only gone visiting, I thought they died since they hadnft been mentioned in the story aside from that one bit.
As for dealing with Brian, it wouldnft be that difficult actually to keep him away from Lois. If you have the DVDs, we learned when her husband was killed that Jilian is pregnant, likewise she is a friend of the family. While Brian is gone just have Chris go see her and invite her to live with them. When Brian and Stewie return, Chris point out that Brian has a chance with her now by helping while she is pregnant, and then helping take care of her kid after she gives birth. Brianfs distracted from Lois and there is another hottie about lol
That aside there is a very specific reason why everyone has been so kind and generous to you and your story mate. Look around, seriously look around at what Family Guy fanfiction there is out there. Here, FF, WWOAEC, H-Foundry, the list goes on and on, you can count the number of GOOD fics on one hand. 90% of whats out there is Stewie/Brian. You are currently writing one of the very few het fics for the series, and not only that you are writing a *very* good fic dude. And if/when you do write Lara in, it will be her first appearance in a fanfic, youfll be the first to ever write her so thatfs something else to look forward to (though I was hoping shefd stick around, Ifll take whatever I can get for that pairing). I havenft caught but a few little things here and there wrong with it, mostly grammar issues, but the spelling and form is great and the characters are in character according to the series for the most part. Thatfs why everyone has been giving you the props you have so deserved. Keep it up!
As for this chapter, it was interesting, you have presented some new developments and introduced more characters from the series. Bonnie and Joe was *perfect* from start to finish, I heard Joefs voice at the eYou bastard!f moment I have to admit lol. But the issues in Joe and Bonniefs marriage werenft simply played for laughs, you treated it as a serious matter and the interactions between Chris and Joe really did ring with the series canon, Joe getting a little help/advice but still ending up the butt monkey. I look forward to seeing where you take things from here mate, this story is turning out to be very interesting indeed.
I did have a few thoughts, but I donft want to fill up your reviews with junk lol. I could contact you via e-mail if you have that posted on your authors profile though.
As for dealing with Brian, it wouldnft be that difficult actually to keep him away from Lois. If you have the DVDs, we learned when her husband was killed that Jilian is pregnant, likewise she is a friend of the family. While Brian is gone just have Chris go see her and invite her to live with them. When Brian and Stewie return, Chris point out that Brian has a chance with her now by helping while she is pregnant, and then helping take care of her kid after she gives birth. Brianfs distracted from Lois and there is another hottie about lol
That aside there is a very specific reason why everyone has been so kind and generous to you and your story mate. Look around, seriously look around at what Family Guy fanfiction there is out there. Here, FF, WWOAEC, H-Foundry, the list goes on and on, you can count the number of GOOD fics on one hand. 90% of whats out there is Stewie/Brian. You are currently writing one of the very few het fics for the series, and not only that you are writing a *very* good fic dude. And if/when you do write Lara in, it will be her first appearance in a fanfic, youfll be the first to ever write her so thatfs something else to look forward to (though I was hoping shefd stick around, Ifll take whatever I can get for that pairing). I havenft caught but a few little things here and there wrong with it, mostly grammar issues, but the spelling and form is great and the characters are in character according to the series for the most part. Thatfs why everyone has been giving you the props you have so deserved. Keep it up!
As for this chapter, it was interesting, you have presented some new developments and introduced more characters from the series. Bonnie and Joe was *perfect* from start to finish, I heard Joefs voice at the eYou bastard!f moment I have to admit lol. But the issues in Joe and Bonniefs marriage werenft simply played for laughs, you treated it as a serious matter and the interactions between Chris and Joe really did ring with the series canon, Joe getting a little help/advice but still ending up the butt monkey. I look forward to seeing where you take things from here mate, this story is turning out to be very interesting indeed.
I did have a few thoughts, but I donft want to fill up your reviews with junk lol. I could contact you via e-mail if you have that posted on your authors profile though.