rate_review Reviews

Thanks for another good chapter. I liked the first better, this took a bit long to get where it was going, but still good. Good sex scenes. I just want to point out that Ron agonizing over his actions is not sexy or fun. People who are reading this story are obviously those who enjoy a tale about a guy using gadgets to get sex from women who otherwise would not be giving it to him. It's basically rape, even if he loves them and there is no violence. Obviously your readers are for the most part people who can enjoy reading such a story as a fantasy. So while it's ok for him to express the occasional guilty thought, he spent way too much time agonizing in chap 2. This story is obviously meant to be fun, not a dark morality tale, so I hope you will focus more on that in future chaps. Which I am looking forward to.

Great job on the second chapter I gotta say am over curious as to what you've got planned next. Introduce another item or have Ron mix his play time with what he's got? Also want to know will it be limited to just Kim and Ann or will others join in the fun. Well looking forward to the next one.

Loving this series of stories..... I wonder what other fun 'toys' Ron could get.

I liked it a lot. but i was hoping for some ann/ron action with ron as himself. maybe you can do some ron/bonnie bondage or anal stuff

wow that was kinky. I liked it XD

Ann Possible has got to be next and I think I'd like it with the same 'toy' myself XD

First thing I got to say; This was a very well written story. If nothing else, good job on that. ^_^

Now, Granted, this story could read like an episode of "Criminal Minds" (lets face it, legally it WOULD be classified as Date Rape), but since it is FICTION I can give it a pass, so long as readers know NOT to replicate this in real life (super-villain activities at the beginning notwithstanding).

I Agree with some that Ron seemed to start rolling down that "Dark Path" he didn't want to go down, rather easily. But depending on the kind of structure this story will have (one storyline or multiple one-shots, etc), he could still turn things around (tell the truth, be forgiven, etc).

In regards to future elements of the story, If you intend for Ron have encounters with other women besides Kim, then I would suggest you try some of the lesser used characters, rather than the "standard group":

-Mrs. Possible: has the MILF factor
-Shego: is the sultry Vixen and Bad girl
-Bonnie: has the 'Hate turned Love' novelty and Head Cheerleader thing
-Yori: showed genuine interest in Ron, and has the Exotic Asian factor
-Tara: also showed interest in Ron, but has the Blonde Cheerleader factor instead

There are other women I'd suggest for future chapters:

-Monique
-Zita Flores
-Vivian Porter
-Dr. Betty Director
-Adrena Lynn
-Electronique
-maybe Britina or Heather or Camille Leon
-Connie & Lonnie Rockwaller (Bonnie's sisters)
-Any of the other Middleton Cheerleaders
-hell even Warmonga (the 'Captain Kirk factor')

Each of them would be something different to read than what I've seen numerous times before.

As for the part about "Toys"... The various gadgets and devices that could be used like the Narcoleptor, aside from standard bedroom "Toys" (giggity), or some kind of robotic tentacles invented in Japan (giggity-goo), there some that come to mind.

-->Season 4's "Cupid Ray" immediately comes to mind, but that seems essentially WAY too easy

-->The Muscle Ring: Check out some fan-art by Googling "Ron the Man by CallMePo", the M-rated story practically writes itself.

-->Ron and Zita Flores had an adventure in a videogame with those 'Immersion helmets'. what if they were perhaps... "Accidentally" ... imported into some random Ero-game from Japan, instead of Everlot this time?

-->There's the "Juvenator" from the 'A Sitch in Time' movie. I can picture Betty Director getting zapped back to her youthful self, enjoys it, wants to "Live it up" and has a day of fun including some fun with Ron before returning to normal

-->The "Attitudinator" from season 3 and 4 that turned evil good and good evil. I'm sure that idea could be played with.

-->The Shrink Ray from season two that made things Giant as well. Something could be done with that... I guess.

-->Easy one (but with various Moral implications and issues) would be any of the various "Control Chips" used throughout the show. Mind-control chips, Emotion Chips, etc.

-->The Truth ray. Ron was doing well around school in that episode until the effects wore off.

That's about all I got right now. This has gone on long enough already. Hope to see another chapter soon. Peace out.

FYI there's a story called "Deep Sleeper" in the threesome section that has a similar idea as this, except Ron is the sleeper.

I diffently liked this story and am excited about the next one. My vote would be Monique and Kim with Dr Dementor's Bonding Ball that ties them up together with kim getting ready for a hot date with Ron. While they have their date they can have some "fun" together. I hope this sounds as good to you as it does to me. Cause I think Kim needs 2 friends with benefits. Keep up the great work and looking forward to the next chapter.

I want something with monique, mrs. possible, or bonnie. (in that order lol.) maybe a device for a temp slave control or something

I dunno. I mean, Ron effectively slips her a Date Rape drug, rapes her, and *doesn't* turn himself in to the authorities out of remorse? At the end you mention that he doesn't want to go down a dark path...but he just raped his best friend and partner. Isn't it just a tad too late?

Nicely written. I suspect you are someone with a different name over on FF.N.

There are so many options here... Both Bonnie and Shego could be subjects Ron could work out some frustration on. How much will having the power corrupt Ron? Yori and Joss wouldn't mind being the objects of his lust. Tara had a crush on him at one point. Monique is his friend, but I wouldn't mind seeing him try out some wrestling holds on her. I'm not really a fan of Ron with Kim's Mom. Vivien Porter... maybe. Betty Director... no (at least not for me). Other cheerleaders (Hope, Crystal, Jessica, etc.)... maybe - but I'd prefer he work his way through Bonnie, Shego, Yori, Joss, Monique, and Viv Porter first - with a return bout or two with Kim worked in there.